Michael Jackson - HecklerSpray

Paris Jackson and Macaulay Culkin Are Cute Asf

December 19th, 2016 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

Christmas is less than a week away so I figured I’d blog about some things that are really important at the holidays: family and Macaulay Culkin.

When most people think of Michael Jackson and young boys, they get some pretty bad images in their heads, so people often forget that MJ apparently did have a very genuine and I guess borderline healthy friendship with Macaulay Culkin, so much so that he made Macaulay the godfather to his daughter, Paris, who it seems he’s still close with even after MJ’s death.

10 Best MTV VMA Moments (So Far)

August 27th, 2016 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

The MTV Video Music Awards are tomorrow, so I’ve been celebrating it by posting some sweet lists to relive its rich cultural history. Yesterday I looked at some of the best vma outfits, today I’m going to take a walk down memory lane and remind you all of some of my favorite vma moments.

So while Drake is busy taking out billboards to celebrate Rihanna’s Vanguard award at this year’s ceremony (what’s the deal with their relationship?! Will we ever get the truth??), I’m going to force some of my favorite MTV memories on you.

Tell Me If This Sounds Familiar- Chris Brown Is An Arrogant Ass

January 19th, 2015 By Megan Leitch

You know, I was just thinking to myself, “Damn, it has been a minute since Chris Brown has done anything super douchey.”? And just like magic, Brown delivered us all a totally cringe worthy set of Tweets, completely making up for all the quiet time.

At this point, Chris is basically?competing with Kanye for “Most Arrogant Celebrity.”? My money will always be on Yeezus, but Brown is pulling a tight second.

Surprise! Another Jackson Is Making Terrible Life Choices

January 6th, 2015 By Megan Leitch

Since Michael Jackson died, it’s been daughter Paris who has been involved in the more controversial headlines.? Now her brother Prince has decided to garner a little attention for himself by becoming besties with the reigning Canadian King of Douches, Justin Bieber.?

Because this is exactly what we need.? More rich kids being tools together and engaging in asshole behavior.? Maybe Grandma Katherine can smack a little sense into Prince.? But then again, she married Joe, so I don’t think I hold much faith in her sensibility.

Kanye West Thinks He Is A Better Michael Jackson Than Michael Jackson

September 24th, 2013 By Megan Leitch

So it really isn’t new news that Kanye West is one of the most, if not the most, egotistical douchebags around currently. ?It also isn’t shocking that he continues to live in this warped world where he is the greatest, most innovative artist alive. ?However, he manages to still spew some insane shit about himself that makes the rest of the world tilt their head to the side and go “Is he serious right now?”

West has now he has taken his ridiculously way too high opinion of himself to a new level by saying that he believes he has broken more creative barriers than Michael Jackson. ? Cue LaToya heading up a mob to castrate Kanye in 3…2…1…

Top 10 Most Absurd Celebrity Crap Sold For Ridiculous Amounts of Money

September 3rd, 2013 By Chris Chambers

Mick Jagger’s hair clippings were sold at auction last week for $6,000. Now, you have to wonder about?a person who will spend thousands of dollars for a celebrity’s hair clippings.?Mick?is a legend, obviously,?and I love him?as much as anyone, but I wouldn’t pay $6 for his nasty split ends, much less $6,000.?And what about?$100,000?for a half-eaten piece of toast? It’s pretty fucking troubling.

Of course, there are varying degrees of consumer perversity involved. Some of the auctioned?items on this particular list?were willingly provided by the celebrities and the?proceeds given to charities. And that’s nice, it really is, but it doesn’t answer the question of what kind of fucking weirdo wants Scarlett Johansson’s boogery tissue? Even if you got it for free, why would you want it? She’s lovely, yes, but snot is snot and it’s all gross, no matter how lovely the nose from which it was ejected.

Guess What’s Getting The Blame For Paris Jackson’s Overdose?

June 6th, 2013 By Rhiannon Davies

Let’s set the scene: you work at Entertainment Tonight. It’s a typical Thursday afternoon, not much is happening. Snooki is talking about losing her V-card, Beyonce is wearing a hoodie, there’s probably some kind of bikini-related slideshow to be made. Then the phone rings. Paris Jackson has been rushed to hospital after an apparent suicide attempt.?

This is serious business. You’re going to have to flex your journalism muscles to make sure that this story is reported in the most sensitive manner possible. The phone rings again. A source that is ‘close to the family’ is telling you that the reason Paris tried to kill herself is that she went into a massive tantrum after she was told that she wasn’t allowed to go and see ?Marilyn Manson in concert. How quickly do you roll your eyes and slam the phone down?

Even Dead, Liz Taylor and Michael Jackson Earn Way More Money Than You

March 23rd, 2013 By Chris Chambers

They were besties?while alive, but Elizabeth Taylor and Michael Jackson are duking it out in death. This year, Lovely Liz officially overthrew two-time list-topper Michael Jackson on Forbes’ Magazine’s annual round-up of the top-earning dead celebrities, with Liz’s $210 million kicking the ass of Jacko’s meager $145 million.

You might wonder: is it tacky to compile such a list? The answer is yes, of course it is. But that’s what Forbes does, make lists of largely unimportant,?money-related, non-issues. The endless list-making leads one to suspect that Mr/Mrs?Forbes is at least mildly obsessive compulsive … but?the lists are eerily fascinating.

5 Reasons Why The Jackson Family Are Batshit Insane

August 13th, 2012 By Chris Starr

Celebritydom is fucked up. You spend all of your life yearning to be noticed and admired, only to be thrust into the spotlight with nary a gym sock to cover your knackers and a baying crowd of paparazzi waiting to photograph the moment your member goes limp and your covering falls off. No wonder some people get messed up by the experience.

But of all the sad tales of stardom, there is little more depressing than the tale of the Jackson family. A nice, innocent family from Indiana, they suddenly got all Lord of the Flies as soon as the Hollywood spotlight was shone on them. When Wikipedia – which is known for its dry, impartisan style – says that “Members of the Jackson family have been the subject of heavily publicized controversies and legal imbroglios, most notably allegations of child abuse against Michael in 1993, his criminal trial in 2005, and Janet’s controversial Super Bowl halftime performance in 2004“, you know that your family is a little messed up.

Life For Dr. Conrad Murray Really Is Poo In Jail

March 29th, 2012 By Matthew Laidlow

Poor Dr. Conrad Murray, we can imagine that he's not having the best of times in prison at the moment. Despite being convicted of the manslaughter of a certain Michael Jackson, he knows that, when he's released, he?ll be battered with abuse from fanatical Jackson goons.

We don't imagine prison to be an exciting place, especially in America. Our yank buddies seem a bit stricter on discipline and prefer to harbour inmates in cells without luxuries such as TV, radio and concealed weapons.

Some might argue that criminals deserve nothing, though they need some basics if they’re expected to see out a sentence given to them without hanging themselves with their shoelaces. One such thing is clean drinking water and the last time we checked, the BBC has held no telethon to raise money for dirty drinking water in LA. But if reports are to be believed, we might have to help America out. ?Sexy? Dr. Conrad Murray is blaming an embarrassing problem on what he drinks.