Articles tagged with: michael
Lindsay Lohan’s Dad: Sorry I Called Your Girlfriend Dark & Hideous
So Lindsay Lohan's career is deeper in the pooper than ever, but it doesn't matter - after all, family is what's most important. And that's why Lindsay Lohan's father Michael has chosen now to do the most charming, heartwarming thing he's probably ever done - he's finally decided to take back his comments about Lindsay Lohan's girlfriend Sam Ronson being "dark, hideous and a disgusting representation of humanity." What an incredible show of compassion! From now on, Michael Lohan will no longer use the words 'dark', 'hideous', or 'disgusting' in association with Sam Ronson for fear of offending Lindsay Lohan. Fortunately, that does still leave him with the adjectives 'abominable', 'appalling', 'detestable', 'loathsome', 'repugnant', 'revolting', 'sickening' and 'unsightly', so look out for any or all of those bad boys in the next few weeks.
So Lindsay Lohan's career is deeper in the pooper than ever, but it doesn't matter - after all, family is what's most important. And that's why Lindsay Lohan's father Michael has chosen now to do the most charming, heartwarming thing he's probably ever done - he's finally decided to take back his comments about Lindsay Lohan's girlfriend Sam Ronson being "dark, hideous and a disgusting representation of humanity." What an incredible show of compassion! From now on, Michael Lohan will no longer use the words 'dark', 'hideous', or 'disgusting' in association with Sam Ronson for fear of offending Lindsay Lohan. Fortunately, that does still leave him with the adjectives 'abominable', 'appalling', 'detestable', 'loathsome', 'repugnant', 'revolting', 'sickening' and 'unsightly', so look out for any or all of those bad boys in the next few weeks.
Janet Jackson Launches Own Line Of Wardrobe Malfunctioning Lingerie
The name Jackson has shifted meanings quite dramatically over the last few decades. In the seventies you’d know the Jacksons as that annoying bunch of kids whose songs were more infectious then the Ebola virus, while the eighties and early nineties saw Michael Jackson pull away and gain success on his own. Sadly MJ knackered things up towards the end of the nineties with “botched surgery†plaguing the Jackson name. Then at the turn of the millennium, things got worse as the tags “dodgy alleged child molesterâ€, “rubber masked mo' fo'†and “strange reality show contestant†were thrown around.
The name Jackson has shifted meanings quite dramatically over the last few decades. In the seventies you’d know the Jacksons as that annoying bunch of kids whose songs were more infectious then the Ebola virus, while the eighties and early nineties saw Michael Jackson pull away and gain success on his own. Sadly MJ knackered things up towards the end of the nineties with “botched surgery†plaguing the Jackson name. Then at the turn of the millennium, things got worse as the tags “dodgy alleged child molesterâ€, “rubber masked mo' fo'†and “strange reality show contestant†were thrown around.
Jackson Five to Receive Award for Making It Through Life Alive, or Something
We’re positively flabbergasted. It turns out when you add up the stuff from the lives of all the Jackson Five members, there appears to be an achievement in there somewhere, or something. So, let’s give them a lifetime achievement award, shall we? Be sure to tune in to the award ceremony for the exciting activity where you have to match up pictures of the group from the past and present. If you're good enough to score 100% you’ll be awarded one of the last un-repossessed llamas from Neverland Ranch. Don’t get too excited, though. Nobody’s ever won one.
We’re positively flabbergasted. It turns out when you add up the stuff from the lives of all the Jackson Five members, there appears to be an achievement in there somewhere, or something. So, let’s give them a lifetime achievement award, shall we? Be sure to tune in to the award ceremony for the exciting activity where you have to match up pictures of the group from the past and present. If you're good enough to score 100% you’ll be awarded one of the last un-repossessed llamas from Neverland Ranch. Don’t get too excited, though. Nobody’s ever won one.
