Madonna Possibly Looks In A-Rod’s General Direction! Disgusting! Madonna has never been shy about displaying her love, and by 'love' we obviously mean 'grotty old lady vagina'. But her actual love? That's a different story. Madonna knows that love is a tender and private thing, and therefore always keeps it to herself like a coy little schoolgirl. A schoolgirl who's been dipped into an acid bath and then sandblasted, obviously, but a schoolgirl nonetheless. This coyness was on full show last night, when Madonna sat her rumoured new boyfriend Alex Rodriguez in the front row of her concert in Miami and kept making funny little glances towards him during some of her more sentimental songs. Oh, and she did something else to him as well - something mind-scarringly ghastly. Not an exaggeration.

‘Go To Miami, Amy Winehouse’ Orders Banged-Up Blake

Amy Winehouse is in for a cruddy Christmas. Not only is Santa vastly unlikely to give Amy what she needs the most - a slap in the mouth and a decent hairbrush - but now that her husband's been remanded in custody, she'll be all alone, too.

But just because Blake Fielder Civil is going to be banged up in prison until the middle of January - possibly even June - it doesn't mean that he's not in love with his wife. That's why Blake has apparently urged Amy Winehouse to spend Christmas in Miami, the city where they got married, to reflect on the good times instead of wallowing glumly and screaming like an angry kestrel at paying fans. And it seems like Amy Winehouse has decided to listen to him and go to Miami. That's probably for the best because not only will Amy Winehouse get some distance from her current troubles, but it means that Blake won't have to kick her in the face until she needs metal plates inserted because she defied him.