Until now, the only time methamphetamine was linked to Ryan O’Neal was when we had to eat a bucket of it to stay awake during Love Story.

But that’s no longer the case. Ryan O’Neal and his son Redmond have both been charged with methamphetamine possession and other drug offences stemming from time police offices searched their house and allegedly found both of them, um, in possession of methamphetamine.

However, if they’re found guilty of these charges, both Ryan O’Neal and his son will probably escape a prison sentence. That’s because if they go to jail, they’ll be less likely to stumble round their house shooting guns at each other and tying each other to banisters and hitting each other in the head with fireplace pokers. And only a monster would put an end to that sort of first-class entertainment.

We’ve never hidden our desire to be adopted by the O’Neal family. Those O’Neal kids got lucky breaks we never did, and we want in. We want to be roped into an orgy with Melanie Griffith and a hairdresser like Tatum O’Neal says she was. We want to be able to tie our brother to a banister and accidentally hit women in the head with a fireplace poker until our father fires a gun at us like Griffin O’Neal.

But most of all, we want to be like Redmond O’Neal. Redmond O’Neal has lived a charmed life – reaching professional successes like getting minor voiceover work in The Brave Little Toaster Goes To Mars and personal successes like being so close to his father that both of them were arrested for possession of methamphetamine at the same time last month. Oh, how we wish we could be an O’Neal.

But it looks like an adoption is out of the question, so we’re just going to have to live vicariously through them all instead. And now seems to be a pretty good time to do that, because Ryan and Redmond O’Neal have now been charged with felony methamphetamine possession, and they’ll go to court over it next month. Reuters reports:

Both men were charged with felony possession of methamphetamine, and the son was additionally charged with lesser counts of possessing drug paraphernalia and illegal possession of pepper spray. Felony drug possession carries a possible maximum sentence of three years in prison, but neither man is likely do any time behind bars if convicted.

It sounds like Ryan O’Neal will get off lightly if he’s convicted of these charges – since he’s a first-time offender he’ll most likely be sent on a drug rehabilitation program where he’ll either learn that a) taking drugs is bad or b) trying to hide some of your son’s drugs that you’ve never tried in your bedroom to stop him getting into any more trouble with the police is bad.

Having said that, though, maybe a drug conviction is just the thing to give Ryan O’Neal an edgy new audience. After all, look at Robert Downey Jr – after he went berserk on drugs he became one of the biggest stars in the world.

So who knows – this could lead Ryan O’Neal out of the creative cul-de-sac he’s found himself by accepting guest spots on hopeless shows like Miss Match. Play his cards right and he might even lock down that walk-on cameo on CSI: Miami he’s been desperate for. No, what are we saying, Ryan O’Neal needs to gradually work up to something as high profile as that. Babysteps, Ryan. Babysteps.

A public plea: Can someone, anyone, from MTV please immediately go and make a reality TV show about Ryan O’Neal and his family? Thanks.

Because, without question, a TV show about the family life of Ryan O’Neal would hands-down be the best piece of television ever made. Especially if it explained why Ryan O’Neal and his son Redmond were yesterday both arrested on the felony charge of methamphetamine possession.

Wow. So Oscar-nominated actor Ryan O’Neal (father of Tatum O’Neal, the actress who was recently arrested for buying crack) and his son Redmond (who last year tied his half-brother to a staircase like a dog and hit his girlfriend in the head with a fireplace poker until Ryan O’Neal actually had to fire a gun at him to make him stop) might be on drugs. Who knew?

You know what? We’d give anything to be an O’Neal. Seriously, anything. When we were kids, our Dad would just take us out for fishing trips or bike rides or something equally dull. But not Ryan O’Neal. Ryan O’Neal’s a real dad, and here’s why:

*Ryan O’Neal taught his kids that the only way to deal with the grief of losing a pet is to go and buy crack and then pretend you didn’t know it was crack when you’re arrested for it.

*Ryan O’Neal knows that sometimes the only way you can stop your son from waving a fireplace poker around so haphazardly that he injures his own girlfriend’s head because you overreacted to the sight of him tethering your other son to a bannister like a dog to stop him buying drugs is to fire a gun at him.

*Ryan O’Neal knows that the family that gets shitfaced on methamphetamine together stays together. Allegedly.

How much of that did you do with us, Dad? None of it. Thanks Dad. Thanks a lot.

Anyway, Ryan O’Neal and his son Redmond O’Neal have both been arrested on the felony charge of narcotics possession. The New York Daily News reports:

Deputies found what is believed to be methamphetamine on them during a probation sweep of their Malibu home. Father and son were later released on $10,000 bail each. “Authorities found Redmond in possession of narcotics and later discovered the father, Ryan O’Neal, was also in possession of narcotics,” spokesman Steve Whitmore told the Daily News

Of course, the lion’s share of the blame for the arrest has to go to Redmond O’Neal. If he hadn’t got arrested earlier this year for going on a pre-dawn joyride through the streets of Malibu with all sorts of heroin and crystal meth in his possession then the probation squad would have never come a-knocking, leaving Ryan and Redmond to get as allegedly munted on methamphetamine as they like in the privacy of their own home.

Still, it doesn’t matter whose fault the arrest was, or even if Ryan O’Neal and Redmond O’Neal are guilty or innocent. What matters is that the justice system doesn’t punish either of them for this. Seriously. Imagine if this arrest shocked the O’Neals into cleaning up their act and behaving like responsible members of the public for once. This website would go under in seconds. Seconds. We beg of you, don’t let that happen.