metal - HecklerSpray

HecklerPlay: Musicians, Famous For The Wrong Reasons

August 4th, 2012 By Si Sharp

On this week in 2000, Yusuf Islam (previously known as Cat Stevens) joined the campaign to fight the government?s repeal of Section 28.?Section 28 was the ban on homosexuality being ?promoted? in schools. By ?promoted?, what it really meant was ?being told that it existed?.

Those that sought to keep Section 28 thought that it was an essential piece of legislation that was all that stood between the bottoms of our innocent schoolchildren and a queue of 2000 predatory gays with unquenchable erections, such is the uniquely paranoid perspective of the bigoted mind.

Luckily the Section 28 thing has been forgotten and despite his high-profile religious conversion he is still mainly famous for writing some pretty ditties. Other tunesmiths have not been so lucky though and have become better known for other, similarly embarrassing behaviour.*

HecklerPlay: Top 10 Songs About Masturbation

August 4th, 2012 By Si Sharp

Musicians think about sex a lot.?They must do, it's almost the only thing they write about. Popstars live to defile their young screaming fans. Rockers know they've made it when there are aspiring muses knocking on the dressing room door.

Hip-hop has a frankly terrifying capacity for the horn.

Frankly it's a miracle they get any work done at all with heads overflowing with images of baps, flaps and todgers. In fact such is the unstoppable high-pressure filth fawcet in their addled brains that doing it with others doesn't fill their schedules and sometimes they combine their libidinous obsessions with their other favourite pastime- loving themselves.

Pop Promos: Living Memes And Bad Haircuts

August 6th, 2012 By Lauren Mullineaux

We go on the internet, sometimes, and this week we've been seeing lots of people ?Tweeting? about various musical videos which we intended to talk to you about, but we can't seem to find them. Instead we're hung up on the Hulk Hogan sex tape.

It does seem that lots of people have been doing things though and we're not entirely sure when any of them found the time; between joining dross festival line-ups and announcing two-bit world tours, who has the time?

The Arctic Monkey?s, who the hell do they think they are releasing a steady stream of music like its 2004 all over again. Shall we watch some videos?

HecklerPlay: Our Favourite Songs About Drugs

August 5th, 2012 By Si Sharp

On Monday, in an interview with Guardian Music, The Shamen?s Mr C revealed that their 1992 hit single Ebeneezer Goode was about ecstasy. Who would have thought it?

To celebrate this revelation, we were going to have a list of our favourite songs that seem to be about one thing, but are actually about another. We soon realised that almost all pop music is actually about sex whilst pretending to be about ding-a-lings, lollipops, divine hammers, relaxing, and the banging of gongs.

So we thought it would be easier to list our favourite songs about drugs.

Top 10 Instructional Training Raps

August 4th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

Bless the dung-minded simpletons who look at hip hop and think, “Ah! That looks easy! Its just talking over a hip hop beat! What idiot couldn’t do that? I talk all the time! I was pretty good at thinking of words that rhyme too!”

Some of these people often take this very silly notion and apply it to learning. “Kids love rap! I need them to learn! Rapping? Learning? INSTRUCTIONAL RAP! It’s a schooling miracle!”

And so, throughout the 80s (and regrettably beyond), there has been a spate of instructional rap videos, designed to be ‘educational’ and ‘fun’, usually falling way short of both marks. Sadly for them, they didn’t realise that rapping is one of the most insanely difficult things to do. Mercifully for this post, this didn’t stop them. So welcome to a world of rap-audits, fried chicken flexidiscs and martial arts rhymes (and not in a Wu Tang way).

HecklerPlay – Top 10 Favourite Opening Lyrics

August 4th, 2012 By Si Sharp

Making a good first impression is important. In books it sets the tone, in social surroundings it allows busy idiots the chance to judge us, and in job interviews it provides a useful opportunity to explain that whilst, yes, you are technically on the sex offenders? register it was all a terrible mix-up and could have happened to anyone.

In music, the first line is underrated. We barely even notice them unless they're clunky or funny.

The best first lines can, like the opening of Kafka?s Metamorphosis, throw you right into the action or they can, like A Tale of Two Cities, set a vivid scene. They can provide an aggressive statement of intent or they can be just plain funny.

HecklerPlay: The Case Against… Post Dubstep

August 5th, 2012 By Si Sharp

In the late eighties, the UK was home to the most exciting music culture movement since punk as a mutation of house music,? born in Chicago but exported to the warehouses and fields of Britain, re-wrote the relationship between artist and audience.

With Acid House, the crowd and the DJs were a partnership, both there to make equal contribution to the euphoria of the rave. As BPMs got faster in the nineties acid house begat rave which in turn begat jungle.

With the help of pirate radio, jungle (which was starting to be known by the less exciting but seemingly more popular name of ?drum and bass?) became a dominant underground force. The importance of the crowd wasn?t the only way in which dance music challenged a comfortable and complacent music industry. The music may have been disparagingly called ?faceless? but rock?s cult of personality was a tired hangover from its heyday and certainly nothing to aspire to for a generation who had found a genuine alternative.

Pop Promos: Pretend Punk, Twee Pop And Dull Folk

August 7th, 2012 By Lauren Mullineaux

Well it's been a hectic week in the business hasn't it what with the death and the outrage and the awards and the fainting and the relaxing and the? oh god it just never ends.

We were going to say something heavily witty and sarcastic like, ?Houston, we have a problem,? but then we thought it might a little insensitive so instead we decided to let Paula Abdul take all the heat with her whole, ?Get over it already, it's been like a week since your mom died, bitch,? statement.

In the midst of all this devastation someone had to keep the candle burning and that someone was obviously always going to be Will Young and his finely slicked hair. And so, to the newest pop promotional videos.

Pop Promos: Bad Girls, Bad Boys, Bad Music

August 7th, 2012 By Lauren Mullineaux

Well it's been a high profile week for music what will all the sports happening and that. If you didn't watch the kitten walk on the pitch in the football or MIA flip the proverbial bird in the Super Bowl then it really doesn't matter because The Metro covers just about all of it in a much more elaborate and unnecessary way than the above sentence makes you think it might be worth.

The kitten doesn't have a music video out, but we're positive you can watch it singing on YouTube or, you can see it in your mind’s eye on ketamine; whatever takes your fancy really.

MIA on the other hand does have a video response out in antithesis to the popular Alexandra Burke song ?Bad Boys?, which is nice for her. Shall we watch some new releases then?

Pop Promos: It’s Like The Worst Bits Of The 90s All Over Again

August 7th, 2012 By Lauren Mullineaux

Pop promos! More of them! There’s always new music being made. This is, of course, a good thing. It’s also a really, truly awful thing. Some records come out and you just think ‘why did you bother?’

Fame and fortune await the few, for the majority will forever be destined to be loved by the faithful dozen who, regrettably for the bands concerned, are not good looking enough to warrant regular sex.

And so, here’s the new releases.