This is new information recently come to light due to some guy’s brand new money-grubbing book. Well, actually the reverse information came out in his book, meaning of course that tucked away in one of his chapters is a little segment where Lennon wanted to fertilise all of Paul’s lady-eggs in the worst way.

Since the book came out someone asked Paul point blank if it was true – and he said aside from a little light necking, John had never, ever expressed any such desires.

Or something like that anyway. We’re actually not sure if that ‘necking’ part was really in McCartney’s answer or not.

The babies John Lennon and Paul McCartney made together were musical ones – and chart climbers at that. There was absolutely no semen involved, and none of the vinyl records ever divided into zygotes. If they had we probably would have noticed baby bumps on one of the two men. Or possibly both.

We’re not really sure how it works when two gay men decide to make a baby together. If it’s twins, sure, why couldn’t they each carry one? If not now, then maybe in the future when science has successfully made plaster wombs that are surgically implantable just above a gentleman’s menstruating gonads.

Anyway – there’s an author named Philip Norman who calls himself a Beatles biographer. He just wrote a gay themed book (called John Lennon: The Life) about Lennon and McCartney, and in it he says, according to the Sun:

“…that John wanted to form a gay relationship with Macca.”

The book also claims their best songs were written:

“…while McCartney & Lennon had their nipples slathered in mustard and firmly pressed together.”

Many creative liberties taken on that second quote. That first one is the real deal though! Isn’t that exciting?!

McCartney denies it all flat out:

“I don’t think (the gay claims) are true. John never ever tried anything, I slept with him a million times. I’ve seen him on tour roaring drunk, out of his mind in the early days before he sobered up and went to rehab. Roaring drunk and it was always with a female, never once. If you’ve got a little gay tendency and your roaring drunk I’d have caught him once.”

Well that’s a blow to the gay community, but a boon to those of us who love Freudian-incest. We meant those of you. Well that last sentence must be confusing. But maybe this next quote, also about the new book’s content, will explain things:

“It also accuses the legendary singer of fantasising about having sex with his own mother.”

In John’s defence, his mother had her hair done at least weekly, and her lips were perfectly plump.

As the story goes, McCartney and Yoko Ono are pretty ticked about John’s newfound man-drooling, mother humping ways, and they deny everything outright.

But their edit wouldn’t move as many copies now, would it?

Lindsay Lohan, you see, was in Capri recently for a film festival – something that she celebrated by snogging the arse off almost all of the island's men. Well, three of them at least – if accounts are to be believed, Lindsay Lohan managed to smooch waiter Alessandro Di Nunzio and actors Dario Faiella and Eduardo Costa all within the space of 24 hours. So it seems that Lindsay Lohan's type is Italian men from Capri. Well, Italian men. Well, men. Well, humans. Well, any living creature of any kind, really. Or objects. Any living creature or any inanimate object. We hope that's narrowed it down a little.

Lindsay Lohan is a woman who enjoys dividing her years up into themes. For example, to pick two years at random, Lindsay Lohan's 2007 was the year of cocaine, booze, rehab and arrests while 2005 was the year of wacky family movies about magical cars.

And, by the looks of it, 2008 is going to be Lindsay Lohan's Year Of Sex. The boyfriend that Lindsay Lohan picked up in rehab recently claimed that she's replaced her addiction to drugs and alcohol with an addiction to sex, and that she's made an unspoken pact with herself that, come December 2008, there won't be an inch of anything on the whole planet not covered in the sluglike goo trail from Lindsay Lohan's worn-out vagina.

Judging by her exploits at the weekend, it seems as if Lindsay Lohan's Year Of Sex started in Capri. On the island with Hayden Panettiere to attend a film festival – the annual Capri Straight To DVD Gala, perhaps, or the Festival Of Shit Films About Amnesiac Strippers – Lindsay Lohan made it her duty to smash through as many of the men who strayed into her path as possible. The Sun reports:

The Mean Girls actress, 21, was first snapped smooching with waiter Alessandro Di Nunzio shortly after arriving in the Italian island of Capri for a film festival. But just a few hours later she was locking lips with a new Italian stallion – handsome actor Eduardo Costa. Lusty Lindsay then rounded off her naughty weekend by kissing another local thespian – long-haired actor Dario Faiella, the son of Italian music legend Peppino Di Capri. 

Judging by the speed that Lindsay Lohan batted through those three men – and the length of time left in 2008 – it's a statistical certainty that someone reading this is going to become a victim of Lindsay Lohan's Year Of Sex. Now, it's important to remember that Lindsay Lohan is promiscuous by profession, and you're probably just an enthusiastic amateur at best, so if you even happen to blunder into Lindsay Lohan's eyeline, chances are it's already too late for you. Just remember to always pack some protection and you'll be fine.

No, not condoms, you idiot. We mean cyanide capsules hidden in your false teeth. It won't stop her, but at you won't be able to feel anything.

Read more:

Lindsay has 3 Italians in a day – The Sun