Mel Gibson Divorce - HecklerSpray

Mel Gibson Explains Why He Can’t Keep It In His Sodding Pants

May 26th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

Have you heard the news? Mel Gibson has got his new girlfriend pregnant! Wait, you had heard the news?

You’d heard the news because it’s been widely known for weeks? Fine. But have you heard the news of Mel Gibson’s impending fatherhood as told by a jittery, shifty-looking middle-aged man who looks as if he harbours several controversial beliefs regarding the Jewish faith? You haven’t? Good, because Mel Gibson did all of that himself on Jay Leno last night.

And the truth is that Mel Gibson got her pregnant and soon he’ll be a dad again. And that’s it. Ta-daaaah!

Mel Gibson Goes Outside With A Woman! A WOMAN!

April 29th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

This divorce must be tricky for Mel Gibson. He just hasn’t got any new responses left. Quiet introspection? He’s done that.

Dangerous binge-drinking? He’s done that too. Cringeworthy mid-life crisis? Come on, this is Mel Gibson we’re talking about – his entire adult life has been one long embarrassing mid-life crisis. So that basically leaves Mel Gibson with two options – he can either step out with a new woman to prove that he’s moved on, or he can grow his mullet back.

So Mel Gibson has done the first one. Which is clearly the wrong choice. We bloody loved that mullet.

Mel Gibson Not Having It Off With A Tiny Pianist

April 15th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

The Mel Gibson divorce continues to shock – who knew people couldn’t love alcoholic bigots with terrible beards?

But whatever. Now we know that Mel Gibson’s wife Robyn has had it with his twinkly smile and tequila-breathed Jewish ranting, it’s time to work out why the divorce is happening. Is it because of Mel Gibson’s rumoured canoodlings with Russian pianist Oksana Kolesnikova?

Apparently not. Oksana’s reps have denied the affair, presumably on the basis that Mel Gibson is old enough to be her chuffing grandfather and there’s a good chance that his elderly penis would splinter off inside her during intercourse.

Mel Gibson’s Wife Gets All Divorcey On Mel Gibson’s Ass

April 14th, 2009 By Paul Gibson

Mel Gibson, the Catholic second son of a large Catholic family, has been served divorce papers by his wife, Robyn. Christmas dinner’ll be fun this year.

We’re sure that Robyn Gibson has a very successful and fulfilling career of her own. Sadly, neither we nor you know what it is (we have a horrible suspicion that that is unless you have recently had cause to redecorate an expensive Los Angeles house and wished to know how this affected your feng shui). Anyway, she has served divorce papers on one Mel “Lethal Weapon” Gibson.

Oh yeah, now you’re interested.