Articles tagged with: Mel Gibson
Mel Gibson Has Baby Girl, Possibly Names It Sugartits
Mel Gibson must be over the moon - he's finally got enough children to become the star of his own reality TV show. Imagine what a perfect show that would be. It'd be almost exactly like Jon & Kate Plus 8, if only the internal dynamic of that show was based on Jon Gosselin's constant struggle to avoid another full-blown anti-Semitic alcoholic relapse instead of John Gosselin's constant struggle to stop the world seeing how bald he's going. But anyway, our point is that Mel Gibson became the father of his eighth baby on Friday. Mother and baby are fine, but the father can be a bit of a dick sometimes.
Mel Gibson must be over the moon - he's finally got enough children to become the star of his own reality TV show. Imagine what a perfect show that would be. It'd be almost exactly like Jon & Kate Plus 8, if only the internal dynamic of that show was based on Jon Gosselin's constant struggle to avoid another full-blown anti-Semitic alcoholic relapse instead of John Gosselin's constant struggle to stop the world seeing how bald he's going. But anyway, our point is that Mel Gibson became the father of his eighth baby on Friday. Mother and baby are fine, but the father can be a bit of a dick sometimes.
Mel Gibson Gets All Like “What DUI Arrest?”
Unfortunate news for anyone who enjoys mocking Mel Gibson - which, let's face it, is just about everyone. His record is clean. Now that he's completed his community service, Mel Gibson has successfully requested to have his 2006 DUI arrest expunged from his record. So what can we mock Mel Gibson for now? What? The fact that Mel Gibson's a hard-line religious egomaniac and a recovering alcoholic with twin sidelines in casual anti-Semitism and hilariously sexist neology, a girlfriend who's more or less young enough to be his daughter and a CV that includes What Women Want and Maverick? Oh, OK then.
Unfortunate news for anyone who enjoys mocking Mel Gibson - which, let's face it, is just about everyone. His record is clean. Now that he's completed his community service, Mel Gibson has successfully requested to have his 2006 DUI arrest expunged from his record. So what can we mock Mel Gibson for now? What? The fact that Mel Gibson's a hard-line religious egomaniac and a recovering alcoholic with twin sidelines in casual anti-Semitism and hilariously sexist neology, a girlfriend who's more or less young enough to be his daughter and a CV that includes What Women Want and Maverick? Oh, OK then.
Mel Gibson Explains Why He Can’t Keep It In His Sodding Pants
Have you heard the news? Mel Gibson has got his new girlfriend pregnant! Wait, you had heard the news? You'd heard the news because it's been widely known for weeks? Fine. But have you heard the news of Mel Gibson's impending fatherhood as told by a jittery, shifty-looking middle-aged man who looks as if he harbours several controversial beliefs regarding the Jewish faith? You haven't? Good, because Mel Gibson did all of that himself on Jay Leno last night. And the truth is that Mel Gibson got her pregnant and soon he'll be a dad again. And that's it. Ta-daaaah!
Have you heard the news? Mel Gibson has got his new girlfriend pregnant! Wait, you had heard the news? You'd heard the news because it's been widely known for weeks? Fine. But have you heard the news of Mel Gibson's impending fatherhood as told by a jittery, shifty-looking middle-aged man who looks as if he harbours several controversial beliefs regarding the Jewish faith? You haven't? Good, because Mel Gibson did all of that himself on Jay Leno last night. And the truth is that Mel Gibson got her pregnant and soon he'll be a dad again. And that's it. Ta-daaaah!
Mel Gibson’s Russian Girlfriend Is Ripe With Child
Is Russia a third world country? Perhaps - but lets review the indicators before we rush to judgment. The first is that we've recently seen three television ads suggesting we send only 75¢ a day to what looks like a science-farm full of little bald Gorbachev clones. This doesn't sound like much until you know an apparently overweight Sally Struthers was their spokesperson, and the children had flies crawling across their head-spots. A second indicator to consider could be that their non-cloned population growth is so high they've begun to outsource for sperm donors. Mel Gibson, apparently, was quick to oblige.
Is Russia a third world country? Perhaps - but lets review the indicators before we rush to judgment. The first is that we've recently seen three television ads suggesting we send only 75¢ a day to what looks like a science-farm full of little bald Gorbachev clones. This doesn't sound like much until you know an apparently overweight Sally Struthers was their spokesperson, and the children had flies crawling across their head-spots. A second indicator to consider could be that their non-cloned population growth is so high they've begun to outsource for sperm donors. Mel Gibson, apparently, was quick to oblige.
Mel Gibson Goes Outside With A Woman! A WOMAN!
This divorce must be tricky for Mel Gibson. He just hasn't got any new responses left. Quiet introspection? He's done that. Dangerous binge-drinking? He's done that too. Cringeworthy mid-life crisis? Come on, this is Mel Gibson we're talking about - his entire adult life has been one long embarrassing mid-life crisis. So that basically leaves Mel Gibson with two options - he can either step out with a new woman to prove that he's moved on, or he can grow his mullet back. So Mel Gibson has done the first one. Which is clearly the wrong choice. We bloody loved that mullet.
This divorce must be tricky for Mel Gibson. He just hasn't got any new responses left. Quiet introspection? He's done that. Dangerous binge-drinking? He's done that too. Cringeworthy mid-life crisis? Come on, this is Mel Gibson we're talking about - his entire adult life has been one long embarrassing mid-life crisis. So that basically leaves Mel Gibson with two options - he can either step out with a new woman to prove that he's moved on, or he can grow his mullet back. So Mel Gibson has done the first one. Which is clearly the wrong choice. We bloody loved that mullet.
Mel Gibson Not Having It Off With A Tiny Pianist
The Mel Gibson divorce continues to shock - who knew people couldn't love alcoholic bigots with terrible beards? But whatever. Now we know that Mel Gibson's wife Robyn has had it with his twinkly smile and tequila-breathed Jewish ranting, it's time to work out why the divorce is happening. Is it because of Mel Gibson's rumoured canoodlings with Russian pianist Oksana Kolesnikova? Apparently not. Oksana's reps have denied the affair, presumably on the basis that Mel Gibson is old enough to be her chuffing grandfather and there's a good chance that his elderly penis would splinter off inside her during intercourse.
The Mel Gibson divorce continues to shock - who knew people couldn't love alcoholic bigots with terrible beards? But whatever. Now we know that Mel Gibson's wife Robyn has had it with his twinkly smile and tequila-breathed Jewish ranting, it's time to work out why the divorce is happening. Is it because of Mel Gibson's rumoured canoodlings with Russian pianist Oksana Kolesnikova? Apparently not. Oksana's reps have denied the affair, presumably on the basis that Mel Gibson is old enough to be her chuffing grandfather and there's a good chance that his elderly penis would splinter off inside her during intercourse.
Mel Gibson’s Wife Gets All Divorcey On Mel Gibson’s Ass
Mel Gibson, the Catholic second son of a large Catholic family, has been served divorce papers by his wife, Robyn. Christmas dinner'll be fun this year. We're sure that Robyn Gibson has a very successful and fulfilling career of her own. Sadly, neither we nor you know what it is (we have a horrible suspicion that that is unless you have recently had cause to redecorate an expensive Los Angeles house and wished to know how this affected your feng shui). Anyway, she has served divorce papers on one Mel "Lethal Weapon" Gibson. Oh yeah, now you're interested.
Mel Gibson, the Catholic second son of a large Catholic family, has been served divorce papers by his wife, Robyn. Christmas dinner'll be fun this year. We're sure that Robyn Gibson has a very successful and fulfilling career of her own. Sadly, neither we nor you know what it is (we have a horrible suspicion that that is unless you have recently had cause to redecorate an expensive Los Angeles house and wished to know how this affected your feng shui). Anyway, she has served divorce papers on one Mel "Lethal Weapon" Gibson. Oh yeah, now you're interested.
Actor Strike: Hollywood’s Weird, Slightly Crappy Civil War
Previously, the only way you'd see Tom Hanks fighting Mel Gibson was to watch the unmade movie Forrest Gump Punches Mad Max In Space. But now Tom Hanks and Mel Gibson have emerged as figureheads on opposing sides of a dispute over whether actors should go on strike because there aren't enough fame-blinded young nymphomaniacs who'll indulge their every fleeting sexual whim or whatever. Mel Gibson is for the strike, Tom Hanks is against it. Sadly Mel Gibson will win, because the dispute will be settled by charging at each other across a field. Poor Tom Hanks - if only it involved growing a crap mullet and ranting about Jesus.
Previously, the only way you'd see Tom Hanks fighting Mel Gibson was to watch the unmade movie Forrest Gump Punches Mad Max In Space. But now Tom Hanks and Mel Gibson have emerged as figureheads on opposing sides of a dispute over whether actors should go on strike because there aren't enough fame-blinded young nymphomaniacs who'll indulge their every fleeting sexual whim or whatever. Mel Gibson is for the strike, Tom Hanks is against it. Sadly Mel Gibson will win, because the dispute will be settled by charging at each other across a field. Poor Tom Hanks - if only it involved growing a crap mullet and ranting about Jesus.
