Lindsay Lohan Succumbs To The Inevitable, Removes Bra For Cash Now that she's been dumped, it looks as if Lindsay Lohan will take her chronic attention-seeking out on us. Great. Nice one Sam Ronson. You massive turd. Anyway, since her last two goes at attention-seeking have involved booze and public scuffles with a lesbian, it's only natural that Lindsay Lohan should want her next go at it to involve nudity. And that's why Lindsay Lohan is close to signing up for a Las Vegas stripshow. We're tempted to call this Lindsay's last-ditch punt at fame, but we've seen seen Georgia Rule and you can't be allowed two last-ditch punts, surely.

WEBTHUMP! Thursday 20 November 2008 10 - And here's a visual presentation we're entitling 'Lack Of Self-Awareness'... 9 - 'The Internet Made Me A Monster' writes a monster - Kontraband 8 - And lo, the 15 worst album covers were put on the internet for some people to look at - Cracked 7 - The reason we don't use ...

Eddie Murphy Marries Bizarrely Unpregnant Woman

If Eddie Murphy ever proposed to you, chances are you'd either think "Not with your wayward reputation," or "Hang on, I'm a chap and we've never even met. How odd," but not Tracey Edmonds.

Eddie Murphy married his girlfriend Tracey Edmonds yesterday on a private island in French Polynesia, simultaneously putting all his past relationship woes behind him. And isn't getting married on New Year's Day the perfect way to start a year? It's like Eddie Murphy is looking Tracey Edmonds in the eye and telling her "This is how it'll be for us all year, or at least until I get you pregnant, deny getting you pregnant, leave you for another woman, repeatedly dodge your requests for a DNA test until I'm ordered to take one by a court and then do the voice of a funny donkey for a tired cartoon sequel to pay off all my child support bills. So about three weeks, then."

Mel B Doesn’t Win That Dancing Show

Poor old Mel B. She's always the bridesmaid, never the bride, and that has to sting - especially when the bride is a South American bloke who drives cars for a living.

Actually that's not strictly true - with her relationship history, Mel B has been the bride quite a lot actually - but as far as Dancing With The Stars goes, Mel B is definitely the bridesmaid. Last night saw the final of this year's Dancing With The Stars, and long-time favourite Mel B was just pipped to the post by Brazilian racing driver Helio Castroneves. And if Helio Castroneves is the bride of Dancing With The Stars and Mel B is the bridesmaid, that makes third-place Marie Osmond a Dancing With The Stars usher or something. Or a flower girl. Or the woman who plays the church organ in an amusingly bad way. Look, we don't know, OK?