Meeting - HecklerSpray

Mel Gibson Saves Britney Spears, Noshes Some Borsch a Bit

March 31st, 2009 By hecklerspray staff

There’s nothing that randomly brings two totally opposite people together like a bit of Tolstoy.

You know, a friendly dialogue over the falsities of society entangled throughout Anna Karenina, a little chat over motifs of enigmatic love and philosophies of death in War and Peace – it happens every day. No, really. Just ask Mel Gibson and Britney Spears. These two were all chummy-like over dinner at a Russian restaurant over the weekend that has a unique selection of Russian books on the premises.

You see, Mel Gibson is trying to help Britney Spears, so of course they got together for an evening of laughs and Russian literature. And everyone knows that it takes one sometimes embarrassingly drunken nutter to save another sometimes embarrassingly drunken nutter.

Angelina Jolie/ Jennifer Aniston Punch-Up: A Miserable Let-Down

March 31st, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

Low-key nominees, strike-wrecked scripted banter – honestly, the only thing about the Oscars we were excited about this year was the thought of Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston clawing each other's eyes out in public.

And it didn't pissing happen.

Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston were due to come face to face at an Oscars party for the first time since Brad Pitt ditched one for the other. But Angelina Jolie avoided the clash by doing what we in the trade like to refer to as 'pussying out'. Sad for us, but imagine how Jennifer Aniston feels – she's spent the last month solidly pumping iron to get ready for the encounter. And she never even got to use that fleet of specially-trained winged monkeys, either.

Cheryl Cole & Ashley Cole! The Showdown! Today!

March 31st, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

It's been a few weeks since Cheryl Cole left Ashley Cole for puking on another woman during sex, and you were probably hoping it was all over.

Wrong! Just because Cheryl Cole left Ashley Cole, it didn't mean that she's actually left him. Cheryl might even take him back, if she can get over Ashley breaking the sacred marriage vow about only splattering his stomach contents on her during sex til death do them part.

And that'll all be figured out today as Cheryl Cole and Ashley Cole have their dramatic make or break showdown. Which will probably be streamed live on Sky News for all the bloody attention it's getting.

Angelina Jolie & Jennifer Aniston To Fight To The Death For Charity

March 31st, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

Brad Pitt ditched Jennifer Aniston for Angelina Jolie quite some time ago now, and you'd think that the three of them would be starting to think about bygones.

Not a flipping chance. In fact, if current reports are to be believed, Jennifer Aniston is still quite miserable about the whole shebang and blames Angelina Jolie for ruining her entire life.

Which should make for a fun evening on February 23, because that's when all three of them are going to host a charity event in Beverly Hills together. Let's hope it's a charity auction, because they could make a fortune flogging off the clumps of hair and flesh that Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie will invariably claw off each other about three seconds after clapping eyes on each other.