According to a post on her official website, Christina Aguilera gave birth to Max Liron Bratman on Saturday evening. While congratulations should obviously be extended to Christina Aguilera and husband Jordan Bratman, we shouldn't forget that this will be a stressful time in the Aguilera household, filled with abnormally loud off-kilter shrieking and various nauseatingly unpleasant sights and smells.

But we're sure that Max Liron will get used to his new mother sooner or later.

This may come as a shock to some of you, so make sure you're sitting comfortably, but Christina Aguilera has been pregnant recently. We know, we know, it's hard to take in at once, but the hints were there if you paid enough attention. 

For instance, there was the way that Christina Aguilera spent months waddling in and out of baby shops. And the way that Christina Aguilera announced that she was pregnant. And the more eagle-eyed among you may have spotted the magazine spread featuring a billion photos of pregnant Christina Aguilera naked with her baby bump painted orange and sticking out like some sort of confusing radiation tumour.

However, if you've only just realised that Christina Aguilera is pregnant then it's already too late. Christina Aguilera isn't pregnant any more, because on Saturday night she gave birth to a bouncing baby boy. According to the Christina Aguilera website:

Christina Aguilera and Jordan Bratman are proud to announce the birth of their son Max Liron Bratman. He is a beautiful, healthy baby boy! 6 pounds 2 oz. 20.5 inches. Born January 12th, 2008 at 10:05PM! Mom is resting and doing well!!!!!!!

Seven exclamation marks? Crikey, that is doing well. We're not sure that even the moon landing was reported with seven exclamation marks.

Still, this will probably be the happiest time of Max Liron's life – smothered with love from his ecstatic parents and too young to realise that he's effectively been named after a mid-1990s brand of banana-flavoured kid's ice cream. But where does the birth of Max Liron Bratman leave Christina Aguilera?

While it's inevitable that, short-term at least, Christina Aguilera will dedicate herself fully to the part of motherhood that involves hiring a fleet of nannies to raise the baby themselves, what will happen to Christina Aguilera's career now that she'll be less keen on writhing about almost naked in her music videos?

Easy, chances are we'll be saying goodbye to Christina Aguilera the wartime slut and hello to Christina Aguilera the beaming mother. And that will either mean that all her future songs will be about how much she loves babies instead of penises, or that her new image will be of a red-eyed exhausted woman with hair that's been matted with baby vomit pushing a trolley round Asda constantly screaming at her crying baby to shut up.

Either one's dandy, to be honest.

Read more:

It's A Boy! – Christina Aguilera