By now, of course, your New Year’s resolutions have all but bitten the dust.
You’re drinking again, you’ve forgotten to exercise, you’ve slipped back into the habit of mutilating horses. We know how hard it is. But if you’re trying to give up smoking, we’ve got just the thing to keep you smoke-free forever.
That’s right, it’s a video of Max and OB from Hollyoaks shouting into walkie-talkies and rolling around on top of some car bonnets with very serious looks on their faces. The video’s after the jump. But be warned – you may never smoke again afterwards.
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Kerry Katona has managed to squeeze out another baby after two days of labour.
Two days in labour? That must have hurt. Good.
Max Clifford, Katona’s publicist, had these words to say of the joyous occasion:
“Kerry is fine.She had a natural labour after being induced at lunchtime today. Max is great, he’s a little small, but Kerry’s baby Heidi was only 4lbs, 9oz when she was born premature.”
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Idiot, idiot, idiot, idiot, fucking idiot Kerry Katona has managed to squeeze out another baby shaped shit after two days in labour.
Two days in labour? That must have hurt like fuck. Good.
Max Clifford, Katona’s publicist and therefore an evil, evil sub-human bastard, had these words to say of the joyous occasion:
Kerry is fine, she had a natural labour after being induced at lunchtime today. Max is great, he’s a little small, but Kerry’s baby Heidi was only 4lbs, 9oz when she was born premature.
Jennifer Lopez has finally decided to announce the name of her newborn twins – they're called Max and Emme.
"Now just you wait a cotton-picking minute, you sarcastic internet upstart," you're probably roaring at the screen in the ill-informed belief that we can hear you, "They're not crap names like you said in the headline. In a world of Shiloh Nouvels and Bluebell Madonnas, Jennifer Lopez should be applauded for naming her kids something as low-key as Max and Emme."
To which we say, do you know what the twins' full names are? Maximiano and Emelina, that's what. Although that might change once someone informs Jennifer Lopez that she gave birth to human babies, not a fairytale witch and a Pokemon.
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