Last night’s American Idol was shocking for one reason. Yes, Matt Giraud’s gone. Yes Adam Lambert was in the bottom two.
But that’s not it. We’re talking about the fact that, on last night’s American Idol, we discovered that Taylor Hicks isn’t dead. Not only that, but Taylor Hicks also hasn’t fallen into such a state of destitute poverty that he’s had to harvest his internal organs to Russian gangsters for food. Talk about a shock.
However, Matt Giraud left American Idol last night, knowing that he’ll never even be as popular as Taylor Hicks. Fate’s a sod sometimes.
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Well well, maybe that American Idol Judge’s Save gimmick wasn’t as hopelessly poo-headed as we all thought.
Just look at Matt Giraud. Everyone figured that, after his save last week, he’d be kicked off American Idol last night. But no. Instead Matt Giraud remains on American Idol, while Lil Rounds and Anoop Desai got booted.
So does this mean that Matt Giraud will win American Idol? No, it means that he’s slightly better at singing than Anoop Desai and Lil Rounds. But we know rape alarms that are better at singing than Lil Rounds and Anoop Desai, so whoopty bloody doo.
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Ah, American Idol Disco Night – a tradition right up there with visiting elderly relatives and hereditary bowel disease.
Honestly, why? Whose idea is it to keep bringing Disco Night back to American Idol? If it isn’t someone who has a financial interest in those cross-channel ferries than run a nightclub service to Calais every month with music by a middle-aged local radio DJ then we’ll be surprised. American Idol Disco Night is terrible.
So what happened on last night’s American Idol? Some people with funny haircuts sang some uninteresting disco songs in a mediocre way. Don’t you watch American Idol?
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You know when your mum threatens to hit you, and the anticipation is worse than the actual violence?
American Idol does. And that’s not just because everyone involved in American Idol seems like they were beaten up as children and the abuse has manifested itself in chronic, relentless, insufferable attention-seeking. No, we’re talking about the American Idol Judge’s Save – the long-threatened but largely toothless gimmick that was finally brought into play last night.
And it was lucky old Matt Giraud who was saved by the American Idol judges. This means Matt Giraud will be out next week. Obviously.
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