It’s official! Comedy has finally run out of new ideas for TV shows and has decided to revive comedy staples from the 90s. Hurray for progress!

It seems that, with My Family now coming to an end, we’ll all have to find something vaguely funny to show in its place…

…not that My Family was that funny to begin with mind.

This week both Craig Charles and Charlie Higson publicly stated that they’re working on bringing back Red Dwarf and The Fast Show respectively. Which is great news.

However… as we’ve seen with Rab C. Nesbitt and… well, the last 2 series of Red Dwarf, the all new, all shiny shows no longer have the teeth they once had. Rather than showing young comedy writers what they’re competing with, it feels more like the flogging of dead horses.

Stupid really, seeing as that’s what they have Dave for.

Expect to see all the characters you loved as a child/teenager/mid 20s layabout enjoying the demise of the Tories, as watered down shadows of their former selves.

Ooh, suit you sir? Not in this economy it doesn’t sir. Why do you even need a suit sir? You don’t have a job sir; no one has a job sir. Ooh, you’re looting our store sir. Suit you sir.

After all, we wouldn’t want what’s left of Mary Whitehouse to make a similarly ill-advised return, to warn us all of how immoral all this 90s telly still is 20 years on.

Still, every cloud has a silver lining, so let’s hope this means an end to Susan Nickson’s god-awful tenure as a BBC comedy writer, where she brought us such shows as Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of One Dimensional Knob Gags, or Grown-Ups Telling Knob Gags and who could forget, Coming of Age… by Making a Load of Knob Gags.

Freud would be spinning in his grave.

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Shia LaBeouf has a daft name, that much most will agree on. It also seems he likes to call his friends daft names to prompt them into striking him in the face.

Why ‘The Beef’ would want to be hit in the face is open to speculation – maybe he saw that Tarzan scene in the new Indy flick one too many times and felt he needed to take some small steps towards making amends. Namely, through violence. Though, let’s be honest, it would need more than a simple slap to make up for that abortion of a movie moment.

Speculate all we may, the reasons why young Beefy wanted to be left red-faced will probably elude us for a fair time to come. What we don’t need to speculate about is the fact that Shia used a naughty homosexual slur to goad his chum into slapping him, as seen on a YouTube video – which was subsequently pulled from prying public eyes.

That’s right – put the kids to bed, cover granny’s eyes and ears and hope to Zeus that Mary Whitehouse isn’t around – Shia called his friend a ‘faggot’.

Has the world ended yet? No? Phew.

Young movie superstar in using slang term with friends shocker! Now, we at hecklerspray are completely against all forms of -ism and -phobia: racism, homophobia, sexism, dogma, bad sandwiches and many more. But dear crikey if this doesn’t seem like yet another case of something being blown completely out of proportion simply because of a guy’s status.

Beef Stew was filmed with his friends and it got out. The situation wasn’t one intended for the public to witness and it certainly isn’t a situation where the youthful Red Meat should feel the need to heavily censor his language. It’s just as soon as the media parasites get a hold of it, things go mental and LaBeouf is forced into making an awkward apology, through a spokesperson (natch), thusly:

“He regrets having used the word in any capacity and is very embarrassed that this footage is being seen by anyone.”

Roughly translated: ‘sorry for anything bad ever to anyone, even things I wasn’t involved in or had no prior knowledge of’. A decent, cover-all-bases apology from Shia. He knows he shouldn’t have said the bad word that will clearly bring about the end of all that is good in the world, but the mere fact that he’s been forced to make a hasty apology and that the powers that be saw the situation as one where a video should be removed shows that this is a classic media over-reaction.

Wait – what do you mean Shia is actually a master criminal? A man-child who constantly breaks the law? Won’t someone please think of the children?!

Whatever next? Bifstek calling Miley Cyrus a bad name? He wouldn’t dare.