Mary-Kate - HecklerSpray

Mary-Kate Olsen is Marrying her Creepy Uncle

March 2nd, 2014 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

meolsen Some celebrity couples creep me out more than I can possibly explain, and one couple that has really been weirding me out for a while now is Mary-Kate Olsen and her French boyfriend, Olivier Sarkozy, who happens to be the brother of the French president. Mary-Kate is 27, but looks about 16. Olivier is 44 and looks about 60. So needless to say, their romance gives me some real Lolita vibes.

Well, lucky for me (a.k.a. not lucky at all), MK and Olivier want to keep putting gross mental images in my head because these two have decided to make it legal and get married. That’s right, Mary-Kate can marry a guy who looks like her creepy uncle, yet gay people still can’t get married in most places around the world. Go fucking figure.

Heath Ledger’s Death Nothing to do With the DEA Anymore

March 24th, 2009 By Ian Dransfield

The DEA investigation into the death of Heath Ledger has been closed with a great deal of secrecy, confusion and ’embarrassment’ all round.

Yes, it would seem that everyone involved in the investigation – which covered the whole of the US – can breathe a sigh of relief, as they will not have to present themselves in front of a grand jury. This includes one Mary-Kate Olsen, whose involvement with Ledger was something questions have been raised about for a number of months now.

Fortunately for the twin-billionaire, with the case being dropped she will no longer be forced to appear for any legal proceedings, nor will she have to keep up her claims for immunity.

The collective eyebrow of the world probably isn’t quite as raised any more.

PETA, Like, Totally Hates The Olsen Twins

March 31st, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

You know Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, the young twins who you've barely ever thought about in your entire lives, especially recently?

Yeah, PETA bloody hates them. Although Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen are just living the sort of life that people of their youth and wealth are expected to – riding around in carriages made of knitted saffron, employing small Taiwanese children to cling onto the soles of their feet and act like super-chic screaming shoes, eating spacedust through straws made of the spines of deceased international dignitaries, that sort of thing – PETA has singled the pair of them out for the full brunt of their abuse because they wear fur coats now and again. That's right, PETA doesn't call them Mary-Kate And Ashley Olsen any more – it calls them Hairy Kate and Trashley Trollsen.

And that's fighting talk right there.