Jennifer Aniston has recently starred in a dog movie, done a photoshoot with a dog and taken all her clothes off.

That last one’s less relevant, to be fair. But it almost definitely happened. The point is, Jennifer Aniston does a lot of stuff with dogs. Including, apparently, rescuing dogs from certain death after they dart out into Sunset Boulevard without warning.

So yay for Jennifer Aniston. And yay for Angelina Jolie, for when she realises that Jennifer Aniston has got more headlines than her and single-handedly repopulates the world’s Iberian Lynx community directly out of her womb as retaliation.

Make no mistake here – Marley And Me saved Jennifer Aniston’s career. Before that came along, Jennifer was stuck in a cycle of majorly unsuccessful movies, moderately successful movies that were objectively woeful and transparently attention-seeking lesbian TV bitparts.

But Marley And Me changed all that forever. Not only was it a number one movie, but it also allowed Jennifer Aniston to present an Oscar, turn down a number of pornographic offers and appear in magazines that don’t exclusively run pictures of her accompanied by the headline ‘SAD JEN STILL WON’T BRAD GO!’

And because of this, Jennifer Aniston has vowed to be a supporter of the dog community. There’s nothing that Jennifer Aniston won’t do for dogs to show how grateful she is for Marley And Me – she’ll fetch their sticks for them if they’re feeling too tired, she’ll lick their testicles if they’ve got arthritis in their necks and aren’t able to do so themselves, and she’ll definitely stop them from being splattered into strawberry jam underneath the wheels of fast-moving traffic.

In fact she has. At the premiere of must-avoid movie He’s Just Not That Into You, Jennifer Aniston regaled all about the time that she recently stopped a dog from having its head smashed off by a lorry. MSNBC reports:

“It’s a husky … gorgeous,” Aniston said of the dog she found on the streets of Los Angeles last week. But the dog she found wasn’t just casually roaming the streets. Aniston says he was in a life-threatening situation. “A dog darted out in the middle of Sunset. People didn’t seem like they were stopping.” Aniston told Access that she got out of her car and, with the help of another woman, approached the dog.

And it was at that point that Jennifer Aniston realised that the dog would be the closest thing she’d ever get to having a human baby of her own, so she named it Jeremy and enrolled it at California’s finest medical school where it graduated with honours before becoming a very successful cosmetic surgeon.

Or she realised that the dog belonged to a man who cut her hair once and gave it back to him. OK, it was that.

Anyway, if that’s the length that Jennifer Aniston is prepared to go to for Marley And Me, imagine what she’ll do for He’s Just Not That Into You. Hopefully it won’t involve stopping Drew Barrymore from darting out into the middle of a busy road. That’s the sort of intervention that won’t help anyone.

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Going to a party alone can be hard sometimes – especially if it’s your party and everyone is desperate for you to fail.

So Jennifer Aniston wasn’t taking any chances when it came to her Marley And Me premiere recently. Although she’s going out with a boy who looks like her nephew, Jennifer Aniston wanted to make damn sure that she wouldn’t go to her premiere alone.

That’s why Jennifer Aniston reportedly got her agents to find some famous actors who’d act as her standby boyfriend if John Mayer dropped out. And, to be fair, they’d all probably be more convincing than John Mayer.

This is a tough month for Jennifer Aniston. Not only is she breaking her back to promote a movie that’s basically Beethoven with all the rough edges smoothed off, but she knows that her movie opens on the same day as The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button, the film by her ex-husband Brad Pitt.

To make it harder, Brad’s film is being spoken of as a serious Oscar contender, while Aniston’s film is about a funny dog who poos everywhere. And, to make it harder still, Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston are currently locked into a kind of high-stakes death-spiral battle for publicity. If Brad Pitt talks about his kids, then Jennifer Aniston has to pretend she wants kids. If Brad Pitt talks about Angelina Jolie, then Jennifer Aniston has to whap her boobies out in a magazine. It’s endless.

But at least Jennifer Aniston got a moment of respite at the Marley And Me premiere recently, where she could totally be herself without even having to think about Brad Pitt. Unless, of course, her on/off boyfriend John Mayer split up with her beforehand, in which Jennifer Aniston planned to hyperventilate on the red carpet, hunch into the foetal position and whimper “Oh God no, oh God no, I’m so alone, I’m so very alone” in front of the world’s media.

Or, as a rumoured Plan B, Jennifer Aniston would just get her agents to set up a hokey relationship with whichever unfortunate Hollywood actor happened to nearest at any given moment in time. The LA Times reports:

According to the New York Post, during their split, Aniston’s camp was shopping for a potential date because poor Jen “did not want to be single when her movie opened… A friend of her agent was calling around asking for young men whom they could set her up with,” a source told the N.Y. Post. But the attempt to find a replacement for Mayer failed and — as if by magic — Mayer and Aniston got back together.

Now, OK, yes, if that’s true it does sound toe-curlingly embarrassing for Jennifer Aniston – but it happens all the time in Hollywood. Even Brad Pitt does it. Admittedly instead of getting a friend or his agent to ring round a bunch of actresses and plead with them to pretend to be his girlfriend for one night, Brad Pitt just found a stable partner to mother his children and share his life with. But, you know, it’s close enough.

Anyway, it doesn’t matter how true this rumour is, because Jennifer Aniston will see this story as a victory anyway. It’s accomplished her two prime directives in life – firstly it’s got her name in print again, and secondly it draws attention away from the fact that she’s made a rubbishy-looking film about a dog. Congratulations, Jennifer!

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Christopher Walken, start running now – it turns out that Jennifer Aniston wants to jump the bones of anyone who starred in Wedding Crashers.

Not content with forging a relationship with Vince Vaughn that lasted almost the exact length of time of The Break-Up's promotional cycle, Jennifer Aniston is now reportedly getting smoochy with Owen Wilson.

Yes, it would appear that Jennifer Aniston and Owen Wilson are an item. Wow, a suicidal depressive and a woman who give off all signs of not being over the distant collapse of her marriage. Those cosy nights in together must be just scintillating.

It's been seven months since Owen Wilson attempted suicide, and common consensus says that he should take it easy while he's in his current fragile emotional state. Anything too traumatic could trigger a relapse, which is the last thing that anyone wants.

But Owen Wilson doesn't care about anything like that – he wants to look fear in the eye. Which is just as well, because he's currently filming the most traumatic project of his life – a romantic comedy. A romantic comedy about a dog who brings a warring couple together. A romantic comedy about a dog who brings a warring couple together that – gulp – co-stars Jennifer Aniston. And, face it, that's enough to send most people to the quivering brink of suicide.

However, there's apparently been an interesting development on the set of this movie, entitled Marley And Me. Rumour has it that Owen Wilson and Jennifer Aniston might just be getting it on. M&C reports:

According to Star, Owen Wilson has been seen "canoodling" Jennifer Aniston in Miami, where they're currently playing husband and wife on the set of the upcoming film based on the best-selling book centered on a dog. "The hugging didn't end when the cameras stopped rolling," one crew member tells Star. "They were very flirty together, far more than you would expect. In between takes they were hanging onto each other. They are very friendly." Star also claims the two bonded before the film began production, "they were speaking regularly by phone and Jen sent Owen some of her favorite books, including The Power of Now," writes Star.

Does this sound familiar to anyone yet? It's almost like the time when Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn got all smoochy on the set of The Break-Up. And if that relationship was any indication, then Jennifer Anison and Owen Wilson can look forward to getting swarmed by marriage rumours by the middle of the summer that they'll coyly bat away until their movie is released on DVD, at which point they'll split up.

Oh, and also if that last relationship was also any indication, then Marley And Me is going to be a fat bucket of shit.

But hey, whether there's a genuine relationship blossoming between Jennifer Aniston and Owen Wilson or whether this is merely gossip – or even a deliberate PR exercise for the movie – at least it's safe to say that both Jennifer and Owen are getting something genuine that they honestly need from it.

Owen Wilson is getting affection and companionship, two things he almost certainly thought he was missing last August when he suddenly and shockingly slashed his wrists, which will help him on his continuing rehabilitation.

And as for Jennifer Aniston, well this is another way for her to prove to Angelina Jolie that she's not the only one who can shag people who she's filming with. Yeah that's right Angelina – suck it, you ho-skank!

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Owen Wilson and Jennifer Aniston rumors fly in Miami - M&C