The good people of Americaland have decided that it’s worth watching The Social Network. This weekend it topped the box office charts. Is it any good? The consensus seems to be ‘who cares? It’s got Justin Timberlake in it.’

And how weird is it that someone has decided to make a film about something so current? It’s like Justin Bieber releasing an autobiography. Neither of these things, sadly, have died yet.

Anyway, there’s a trailer of the film which you can watch, which is embedded further into this article. Yep. You’ve guess it. This is the ‘filler’ bit of the article which we write so the formatting doesn’t go weird.

So what is The Social Network about? People ‘liking’ stuff and sodding Farmville?

Of course not. That would be rubbish.

Nope, we walk in on the action on an autumnal evening in 2003 where Harvard undergrad and computer programming geek Mark Zuckerberg sits down at his computer and heatedly begins working on a new idea.

In a fury of blogging and programming, what begins in his dorm room soon becomes a global social network and a revolution in communication. As well you know. You’ve probably used the bloody thing.

Six years and 500 million friends later, Mark Zuckerberg is the youngest billionaire in history.

Of course, with power comes personal and legal complications. And women in bikinis.

From director David Fincher and screenwriter Aaron Sorkin comes The Social Network, a film that proves you don’t get to 500 million friends without making a few enemies. Or, pretty much anyone who has ever used Facebook has shouted so much that they’ve ruptured their brain thanks to constant fucking tinkering. Is there a bit in the film about that? Is there bollocks.

The film is produced by Scott Rudin, Dana Brunetti, Michael De Luca, and Ceán Chaffin and based on the book “The Accidental Billionaires” by Ben Mezrich.

Out soon or something.

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We ran a race once when we were ten and got second place. Second place isn’t bad for a chubby little kid with a bad perm. We got a medal and everything. Do you think they gave a medal to the person that came in 785th place in that race? Do you? Well, they most certainly didn’t. Not only because there were only about 30 kids in the race, but also because 785th place isn’t really a place at all. It’s hundreds of spots away from the winner. It’s where the losers hang out. 

Know who’s a 785th place loser, too? Facebook originator Mark Zuckerberg, that’s who. What a slacker. He’s probably all boo-hoo about being 785th place. What’s that? The thing for which he placed 785th was the list of richest people in the world?  

Well, then that’s not too shabby out of billions of people, now is it. 

People say that money can’t buy happiness, but if we were named one of the richest people in the world by Forbes magazine right now, we’d be happier than a drunk Care Bear on speed right now. But, we’re not on the list. Neither are you, for that matter, but someone who is on the list making you feel even more pathetic and unsuccessful is 23-year-old Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg.  

Yeah, you read that right. 23 years old. In fact, he’s apparently the youngest person on the list who didn’t inherit money from their dead, geezerly sugar daddy (Anna Nicole Smith we’re looking down at you. Well, we have to look down because you’re dead in a grave) or anyone else. Mark Zuckerberg is a self-made man. We hate our lives.  

So, basically, Mark Zuckerberg has become a billionaire making a website that allows you throw cyber cows and chickens at people and join groups like ‘Group to stop all of these applications for all these groups’ group. Well, he’s actually made $1.5 billion dollars if you want to split hairs. Seriously. $1.5 billion dollars. For throwing cows. Man, do we feel the fool for not starting that farm animal-chucking farm website we thought about. By Mark Zuckerberg’s example, it’d probably be a lot more successful than our real-life farm animal-chucking farm.  

Wow, we just can’t get over that Mark Zuckerberg is only 23 years old. If you’re anything like we were at that age – and we know you are because we scour your Facebook profiles like neurotic ex-girlfriends looking for evidence of that new hag you’re dating in the manner for which the site was intended– you were aimlessly staring off into space wondering what to do with a college degree in Gregorian Masters of Chant, trying to figure out where in the world that smell is coming from.    

At least we can take solace in the fact that Bill Gates dropped from the number one spot where he's been for 13 years to the number three spot. Friggin' imbecile.  

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Facebook Founder Youngest Billionaire On The Planet - People