Thanks to half of America turning its internet black yesterday, it was an excellent time to bury bad news. Likewise, it was an awful time because celebrities were saying stupid things and we missed them. Such as? How about Mark Wahlberg saying that he could’ve single-handedly stopped 9/11 from happening?
Today, Marky Mark has apologised about saying something stupid about America’s sacred cow, which they intend to guilt-trip everyone about until they finally blow the Earth to pieces.
So what did he say?
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Once there was a time, when Mark Wahlberg was just some dumbass in jockey shorts. Then, somehow, we went and became a proper actor before giving Justin Bieber a wedgie. Whaddaguy! Right?
Well, now it seems that Marky Mark and his brothers are opening up a burger joint! How great is that?
Well, it ain’t so great because he’s forgotten one fundamental thing – we’re not idiots. Read More >>>
In the genre of sport movies, the boxing movie is king, the undisputed champion. In fact nowhere are the recurring themes of sport movies more prevalent or integral. Boxing provides expression to the inarticulate, allows the underdog to achieve, invites relationship-fracturing obsession and is rife with politics- all essential ingredients of the genre.
David O Russell’s latest film does not shy away from these clichés, it simply works within them as well as it possibly can.
Is this is a problem? Why should it be? Genre movies regularly achieve greatness. Westerns are strengthened by their confined narrative parameters so why not movies where the frontier is a pitch/ring/court?
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It was only a matter of time until Mark Wahlberg embraced the fact that he was fast turning into bumbling platypus that Tinsletown pointed and laughed at.
Firstly, he had the indignity of dubbing himself ‘Marky Mark,’ affiliating himself with the hideously named Funky Bunch, starring in numerous so-so movies (under the guise of serious acting), and finally topping it off with a verbal joust with a resolute plant. Which, the plant won.
Its these previous overly po-faced performances that probably make him such a joy to watch throughout the latest Will Ferrell chuckle-fest, The Other Guys. That and the script, direction and all the other actors, obviously.
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As humans, we get bored very easily. As such, we’re prone to idly making things fight each other. Cockerels, pitbulls, those insects at the start of Enter The Dragon… and of course, celebrities.
A few years ago, we threw coins at the feet of Ricky Gervais and Grant Bovey and made them punch each other ’til they pathetically wheezed up phlegm from their tear ducts.
Now, some people with more money than tact want to get Will Smith and Mark Wahlberg and make them punch each other ’til either we decide that one of them has arbitrarily ‘won’ or the other can’t feel their legs anymore.
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What do women want? They want men who often look mystified by the words coming out of their own mouths when they talk.
Admittedly not all women want that. But Rhea Durham does. And that’s because on Saturday Rhea Durham got married to Mark Wahlberg. And we only wish we’d been there, because that’s the only way we’d have seen which facial expression Mark Wahlberg pulled during the recital of his vows.
Sure, Mark Wahlberg was probably gunning for ‘sincerity’, but this is Mark Wahlberg we’re talking about – we’re guessing his actual face was somewhere between ‘confusion’ and ‘angry nausea’.
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We’ve literally been on the edge of our seats waiting for Max Payne because, in our estimation, it might just be the perfect movie.
True, Max Payne might be a videogame adaptation, but that’s not all. And true, Max Payne might be an adaptation of a videogame that we never really heard of, but that’s not all. Max Payne is an adaptation of a videogame that we never really heard of starring the bloke from The Happening. Perfect.
And we’re not the only ones who think so, obviously, because Max Payne is number one at the weekend box office, even beating Oliver Stone‘s new George Bush movie. To be fair, one of those movies is an opportunistic flick about a braindead lunk responsible for countless deaths, but the other one’s Max Payne so what can you do?
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We've literally been on the edge of our seats waiting for Max Payne because, in our estimation, it might just be the perfect movie.
True, Max Payne might be a videogame adaptation, but that's not all. And true, Max Payne might be an adaptation of a videogame that we never really heard of, but that's not all. Max Payne is an adaptation of a videogame that we never really heard of starring the bloke from The Happening. Perfect.
And we're not the only ones who think so, obviously, because Max Payne is number one at the weekend box office, even beating Oliver Stone's new George Bush movie. To be fair, one of those movies is an opportunistic flick about a braindead lunk responsible for countless deaths, but the other one's Max Payne so what can you do?
