Mark Foster - HecklerSpray

Strictly Come Dancing Recap: Mark Foster Clomps Out

March 25th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

Let’s not pretend that this is anything other than completely inevitable – Mark Foster has been eliminated from Strictly Come Dancing.

Not for lack of trying – he even toned down his outfit to just a semi-transparent blouse that gave him a cleavage like an old prostitute down the bingo. Given Mark’s tendency to grimace and flail like a rapist at any opportunity, his Paso Doble to Since U Been Gone should have been amazing. But it wasn’t, and he pulled in his worst score of the entire series for it. And this is Mark Foster we’re taking about – we figured the only way he could actually get any worse was to fart in Tess Daly‘s mouth during a Coup de Pique.

But anyway, with Mark Foster out, who’ll win Strictly Come Dancing? Here’s the first part of our Strictly Come Dancing recap, for Lisa Snowdon and Andrew Castle…

Strictly Come Dancing Recap: Cherie Lunghi, Mark Foster, Austin Healey

March 25th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

As Little Foreign Judge said on Strictly Come Dancing on Saturday, now that the women and men are dancing together, it’s like qualification is over and it’s time for the Grand Prix.

Brilliant, we’ve always enjoyed thinking of Strictly Come Dancing as a Grand Prix – overlong, boring, probably quite expensive and with a rich old man controlling everything. And terrible for the environment. And it monopolises our Sundays, usually against our wishes. Perfect. Gold star for Little Foreign Judge.

But who’ll win Strictly Come Dancing? Here’s part two of this week’s Strictly Come Dancing recap, for Cherie Lunghi, Mark Foster and Austin Healey…

Strictly Come Dancing Recap: Gary Rhodes Plods Off

October 5th, 2008 By Stuart Heritage

Gary Rhodes has waltzed off Strictly Come Dancing – well, OK, maybe not waltzed; frankly we’d be stunned if he had the coordination to walk in a straight line.

After a week spent bickering with his Strictly Come Dancing partner, Gary Rhodes was full of attack for Saturday’s jive to Lipstick Powder And Paint. And, to be fair, it was better than his first routine. Although, having said that, he could have pooed down his leg while screaming white supremacist slogans and it would still be better than his first routine.

Still, with Gary Rhodes gone, who’s going to win the show? Here’s the first installment of this week’s Strictly Come Dancing recap, for Austin Healey and Mark Foster…

Strictly Come Dancing Recap: Austin Healy & Mark Foster

March 25th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

Chances are you’re not as excited as we are about the return of Strictly Come Dancing. How excited are we? Quite excited. Beat that, losers.

What are we excited about? To see if Don Warrington can improve his form following his near dismissal from Strictly Come Dancing on Saturday? No. We want to see if Lisa Snowdon actually loves herself as she was making out on this week’s show. Dear God, we hope she doesn’t. That’d be obscene.

Anyway, we should really crack on with our Strictly Come Dancing recap of Saturday’s show. So here it is, and today we’re looking at Austin Healy and Mark Foster…