Articles tagged with: Marilyn Monroe
How much do you like Marilyn Monroe? Enough to watch some of her films more than once? Enough to dress like her? No? You like Marilyn Monroe more than that? Enough to spend the rest of time slowly decomposing inches away from her manky old corpse? No? You like Marilyn Monroe enough to pay $4.6 million so that you can decompose next to her? Then you, sir, are a creepy old nutjob. And, since the winner of an eBay auction for that exact thing has just backed out, it could still be yours! What a result! What a creepy, creepy result.
When writers for hecklerspray finally kick the bucket/are assassinated, we hope that there will be moving tributes paid to us.
Whilst we don’t quite expect a sixty foot high bronze statue to be erected, we do hope that our works will at least be printed on to fish & chip wrappers. Or failing that, will someone at least promise to have a snippet of an article tattooed on to their back if they’re fat enough? If people really are good at doing their respected talent, their legacy usually goes on for years and years.
Just look at our lord saviour Jesus Christ. He’s not renowned for his carpentry skills, but for his amazing magic tricks. Can you turn water in to wine; feed thousand people from two fish and five loaves of bread? No, you can’t, you probably can’t construct a shelf. You’ve got nothing on Jesus.
Another person who’s never out of the news is Marilyn Monroe. Despite being six feet under for forty six years, people still get giddy when new documents about her emerge. So hold on to your replica wig as fresh footage has surfaced. For a price at auction of course.
Marilyn Monroe was tricked into killing herself by Bobby Kennedy. So says Dr Jack Hattem, who, backed up by secret FBI files, says the Hollywood bombshell was somehow fooled into believing she would be revived in time as part of a plot involving Senator Robert Kennedy, the brother of JFK, who was gunned down 40 years ago this week. Instead, Monroe, who staged many fake suicide attempts throughout her life to gain sympathy, was left to die by staff and friends. It's all in Hattem's new book Marilyn Monroe: Murder By Consent. Certainly, Marilyn Monroe may have been dead for 46 years, but that doesn't mean that people have stopped speculating about the circumstances of her death. We spoke to Dr Hattem and listened to some of his more compelling claims, including where Kennedy was on the night of Marilyn Monroe's death and why the recently unearthed Marilyn Monroe sex tape might not be the only one knocking about.
Sometimes all a man wants to see is a dead, blonde girl commit sex acts on film - but what about when they've exhausted their Anna Nicole Smith supply? Well, then there's always the Marilyn Monroe sex tape. You heard - there's a Marilyn Monroe sex tape. A tape of Marilyn Monroe gobbling on a man's penis for 15 minutes. It really exists, but don't get too excited. A private collector has just bought the Marilyn Monroe sex tape for $1.5 million, and he's sworn to keep it from the public in order to protect the dignity of Marilyn Monroe. Well, that and to masturbate himself scabby over the Marilyn Monroe sex tape 12 times a day for the rest of his life knowing that he's the only one alive who knows what Marilyn Monroe looks like when she does blowjobs.
Several things must have gone through Lindsay Lohan's mind as she posed for those naked photographs, like "I hope they dial down my bright red pubic hair with an airbrush" and "what will my mother think?"
But, although she was right to worry about the first one, Lindsay Lohan has no reason at all to fear the latter, because her mother Dina Lohan bloody well loves the naked Lindsay Lohan photos that were published earlier in the week.
That's good to see - Dina Lohan's endorsement of Lindsay Lohan's nude photoshoot is not only heartwarming, but it's also softened her up for all those Lindsay Lohan Hot Bitch XXX Dildo Slut Action DVDs that Lindsay will be reduced to starring in by 2010.
A month and a half in and Lindsay Lohan's Year Of Sex was starting to look embarrassingly dry.
But not any more, because Lindsay Lohan has got naked for a magazine. Deliberately naked, too - this isn't one of those 'Lindsay Lohan gets hammered and forgets to dress from the waist down on a night out' stories. It's an artfully-composed naked Lindsay Lohan shoot.
At least we think it's Lindsay Lohan. She's hidden behind a transparent cloth for most of it and - since the fluorescent red glow from her vagina doesn't make our eyes burn like a mace attack - we have our doubts, frankly.
