Articles tagged with: Mariah Carey
Mariah Carey Uglies Up For Critics. And It Works!
Hollywood - it's quite a place. And it takes some figuring out, with its crazy unwritten rules, and big fat men on phones calling the shots. But one trick that has surfaced over the last few years is that if you're quite pretty and you want to be taken seriously in a film, you've got to demand that your character is hideous to look at. Philip Seymour Hoffman has been pulling this stunt for years. And, other hotties like Charlize Theron, Halle Berry and Nicole Kidman have picked up on it and become so revolting in movies that the pipe smoking women who vote for the Oscars decided that they had sacrificed enough for a statuette. Now, you can add another unusual name to that list of stunners-gone-ugly - Mariah Carey.
Hollywood - it's quite a place. And it takes some figuring out, with its crazy unwritten rules, and big fat men on phones calling the shots. But one trick that has surfaced over the last few years is that if you're quite pretty and you want to be taken seriously in a film, you've got to demand that your character is hideous to look at. Philip Seymour Hoffman has been pulling this stunt for years. And, other hotties like Charlize Theron, Halle Berry and Nicole Kidman have picked up on it and become so revolting in movies that the pipe smoking women who vote for the Oscars decided that they had sacrificed enough for a statuette. Now, you can add another unusual name to that list of stunners-gone-ugly - Mariah Carey.
Eminem Vs Mariah Carey: The Next Interminable Round
It's becoming clear that Eminem and Mariah Carey are the Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor of pop. No, wait, that's wrong. We meant to say that Eminem and Mariah Carey are the honking, toothless, meth-addicted, redneck, laundry-airing Jerry Springer guests of pop. Yes, that's better. So far, Eminem wrote a song about having sex with Mariah Carey, then Mariah Carey wrote a song calling Eminem obsessed, and now Eminem has written a song threatening to release voicemails and nude pictures of Mariah. Coming soon, Mariah says that Eminem runs like a girl and has fleas and wets the bed. IDST.
It's becoming clear that Eminem and Mariah Carey are the Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor of pop. No, wait, that's wrong. We meant to say that Eminem and Mariah Carey are the honking, toothless, meth-addicted, redneck, laundry-airing Jerry Springer guests of pop. Yes, that's better. So far, Eminem wrote a song about having sex with Mariah Carey, then Mariah Carey wrote a song calling Eminem obsessed, and now Eminem has written a song threatening to release voicemails and nude pictures of Mariah. Coming soon, Mariah says that Eminem runs like a girl and has fleas and wets the bed. IDST.
Mariah Carey Becomes A Man For Eminem
Hecklerspray truly believes there will come a day when we'll wake up and stand on a conveyor belt. First we'll slide past the pee station, then we'll brush our teeth, we'll choose a daily gender and then we'll probably eat some porridge that a robot made for us. Perhaps the pee station should be after the gender changing one - it'd be more convenient that way if we're too tired to pull down our pants after being girls the day before. Until that day, everyone except Mariah Carey'll just have to live with what God or scalpel has given us.
Hecklerspray truly believes there will come a day when we'll wake up and stand on a conveyor belt. First we'll slide past the pee station, then we'll brush our teeth, we'll choose a daily gender and then we'll probably eat some porridge that a robot made for us. Perhaps the pee station should be after the gender changing one - it'd be more convenient that way if we're too tired to pull down our pants after being girls the day before. Until that day, everyone except Mariah Carey'll just have to live with what God or scalpel has given us.
WEBTHUMP! July 1 2009
10 - Look! Sarah Jessica Parker and some babies! Exciting! - PopEater 9 - You know who we've been neglecting lately? Female rappers - Interestment 8 - This delicious-looking piece of computing equipment would last three seconds if it came anywhere near us. It looks disturbingly delicious - Geekologie 7 - Jonathan Ross and Graham Norton battle to the DEATH. Not really to the death. And not really a battle. But still, eh? - Watchwithmothers
Watch The Precious Trailer! Because Life Is Precious.
Precious is heavy... And we're not talking about the main character, Clareece 'Precious' Jones. Actress Gabourey Sidibe teams up with comedian Mo'Nique, Mariah Carey and Paula Patton to tell an urban tale of abuse, self hatred and feeling worthless. Main character Precious, is 16, illiterate and pregnant for the second time by her father. Her mother is an abusive tyrant, she's persecuted at school and lives a life of general misery. This gritty drama will hit you with a sobering dose of life's realities, set to the grim backdrop of Harlem, NY.
Precious is heavy... And we're not talking about the main character, Clareece 'Precious' Jones. Actress Gabourey Sidibe teams up with comedian Mo'Nique, Mariah Carey and Paula Patton to tell an urban tale of abuse, self hatred and feeling worthless. Main character Precious, is 16, illiterate and pregnant for the second time by her father. Her mother is an abusive tyrant, she's persecuted at school and lives a life of general misery. This gritty drama will hit you with a sobering dose of life's realities, set to the grim backdrop of Harlem, NY.
Nick Cannon To Host America’s Got Zero Self-Awareness
The thing about America's Got Talent is that it isn't really about talent - it's about attention-seeking idiots. But at least America's Got Talent knows this. That's why, to replace Jerry Springer, the new host of America's Got Talent has been named as Nick Cannon. Nick Cannon. Oh, you know Nick Cannon. He's Mariah Carey's husband. Anyway, to help Nick Cannon fit in, America's Got Talent is changing its name to suit him. Currently it's a toss-up between America Once Met A Stripper Called Talent, America's Got A Rampant Desire For Fame and America Got Married To Someone With Talent For The Money.
The thing about America's Got Talent is that it isn't really about talent - it's about attention-seeking idiots. But at least America's Got Talent knows this. That's why, to replace Jerry Springer, the new host of America's Got Talent has been named as Nick Cannon. Nick Cannon. Oh, you know Nick Cannon. He's Mariah Carey's husband. Anyway, to help Nick Cannon fit in, America's Got Talent is changing its name to suit him. Currently it's a toss-up between America Once Met A Stripper Called Talent, America's Got A Rampant Desire For Fame and America Got Married To Someone With Talent For The Money.
Mariah Carey Furious About Husband’s Sex Yammer
Now, when you're Mariah Carey it's important that you have the right image - and that image is of a massive, slightly chavvy, slag. That's why Mariah Carey only makes music videos that feature her wriggling around in a bra or splashing about in a bikini in slow motion, and it's also why Mariah Carey only releases songs called Touch My Body or Squeeze My Knockers or Stare Up My Bumhole. Appearing to be constantly sexually available is Mariah Carey's one promotional cornerstone. And that explains Mariah Carey's alleged rage at husband Nick Cannon for telling the world that Mariah enforced a strict 'no sex before marriage' policy upon meeting him. Mariah Carey not instantly thwapping it all on a plate? That's the kind of loose talk that destroys careers! Luckily Mariah Carey is a pro, so she's fixed the problem herself by heavily implying that she sucked Nick off a bunch of times before the wedding. No joke.
Now, when you're Mariah Carey it's important that you have the right image - and that image is of a massive, slightly chavvy, slag. That's why Mariah Carey only makes music videos that feature her wriggling around in a bra or splashing about in a bikini in slow motion, and it's also why Mariah Carey only releases songs called Touch My Body or Squeeze My Knockers or Stare Up My Bumhole. Appearing to be constantly sexually available is Mariah Carey's one promotional cornerstone. And that explains Mariah Carey's alleged rage at husband Nick Cannon for telling the world that Mariah enforced a strict 'no sex before marriage' policy upon meeting him. Mariah Carey not instantly thwapping it all on a plate? That's the kind of loose talk that destroys careers! Luckily Mariah Carey is a pro, so she's fixed the problem herself by heavily implying that she sucked Nick off a bunch of times before the wedding. No joke.
Mariah Carey Either Pregnant Or A Bit Mental Again
Is Mariah Carey pregnant? Mariah Carey says "What? Me? Pregnant? Um, I'm, er, hey! Look over there! Balloons!" Or words to that effect, anyway. We've been hearing a few rumours recently suggesting that Mariah Carey and her still husband Nick Cannon have got a baby on the way. And despite her prickly diva reputation, Mariah Carey is only to happy to directly address these rumours. OK, not completely directly. But Mariah Carey will break into a deep sweat, shuffle awkwardly in her seat, giggle nervously, spout all kinds of tangential gibberish and look around anxiously for someone, anyone, who can put an end to the torture she's going through if you do happen to ask her about pregnancy. Which, by chance, is exactly what Mariah Carey did on The Ellen DeGeneres Show today.
Is Mariah Carey pregnant? Mariah Carey says "What? Me? Pregnant? Um, I'm, er, hey! Look over there! Balloons!" Or words to that effect, anyway. We've been hearing a few rumours recently suggesting that Mariah Carey and her still husband Nick Cannon have got a baby on the way. And despite her prickly diva reputation, Mariah Carey is only to happy to directly address these rumours. OK, not completely directly. But Mariah Carey will break into a deep sweat, shuffle awkwardly in her seat, giggle nervously, spout all kinds of tangential gibberish and look around anxiously for someone, anyone, who can put an end to the torture she's going through if you do happen to ask her about pregnancy. Which, by chance, is exactly what Mariah Carey did on The Ellen DeGeneres Show today.
