maria shriver - HecklerSpray

Miley’s Brother is Getting Some Kennedy Action, Too

January 17th, 2015 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

I don’t know what they’re huffing over at the Kennedy compound these days, but whatever it is has made those hippy hillbillies, The Cyrus’, look reeeeeaaaaal appealing. As most of you know, super hunk, Kennedy cousin, and son of Arnold, Patrick Schwarzenegger, has been throwing Miley Cyrus the D since October. Well now, thanks to some telling Instagram pics, it seems like Patrick’s older sister, Christina, might be seeing Miley’s younger (and equally unhygienic) brother, Braison.

The Kennedys are American royalty and the Cyrus’ are…well…not as white trash as the family from “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo”, but slightly more white trash than the Hiltons, so if they keep hooking up I imagine a cross over of “The Beverly Hillbillies” and “Gossip Girl”, which is something I’d be totally interested in watching. Sexy secrets will be revealed during galas, and most of those secrets will involve possums. I’m into it.

Arnold Schwarzenegger Wears Tastless T-Shirt Slating His Wife

August 10th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Arnold Schwarzenegger got caught with his pants down. Hardly surprising really seeing as his pants have been down for over a decade after it was discovered that he’d sired some kid with his housekeeper and kept it a massive, stinky secret.

Of course, when his wife found out, she didn’t hesitate in wanting him out of the house and set about divorcing him for lots of money.

While the divorce goes through, you’d think that Arnie would be showing a little humility and remorse. But he isn’t. Instead, as pictures below show, he’s more interested in slagging off Maria Shriver with a t-shirt slogan. That’s nice isn’t it?

Arnold Schwarzenegger May Have Had A Vague Idea That Everyone Thinks He’s A Rotten Swine

July 27th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Rumours of being a little bit gropey, a secret love baby with the house maid, a Republican and a man who didn’t want to give his wife any divorce money. Yep. Arnold Schwarzenegger has been a prize bell-end over the years, especially so in recent months.

It’s concerning the divorce pennies that has seen Arnie looking his most callous. Basically, in America, you say sorry with either rehab or money. Seeing as the actor’s soon-to-be-ex wife, Maria Shriver, isn’t interested in reconciliation, it’s cash she wants. And for him to then go far, far away until he’s just a speck on the horizon.

However, it seems that Arnold may have had a thought that he may actually have something to say sorry for.

Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Wandering Penis Was Grassed Up By His Wife

May 24th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Hey! Arnold Schwarzenegger! Has your regret and sorrow turned into anger? Are you now pacing around your luxury stud-pad in your luminous thong, gritting your teeth and wondering who leaked the story on you? Political enemies? Movie producers you’ve crossed in the past?

Looking for a conspiracy theory to help aid your feeling that someone has it in for you, trying to damage your good reputation?

Well, unlucky. See, the person who had it in for you is the woman you scorned. That’s right. If you want to know who told the world about your illicit affair with a maid and resulting child, then look no further than Maria Shriver – the wife you managed to upset to the point where she wanted to bury you up to your own neck in your own shit. Right? It’s a hoot isn’t it?!