If only R Kelly had a bunch of events in his life that we could hang some jokes on. We’ve been wracking our brains here and can’t really think of anything that he’s done which we can mock, apart from some of his desperately awful records, that In The Closet lark and the fact it appears that he likes having sex with minors.
Wait! He liked hanging around with Michael Jackson didn’t he? That’s pretty funny isn’t it, because Michael Jackson had a face like a haunted hamstring by the time he died. There must be some correlation between R Kelly’s fondness for minors, allegations made against Jackson and, of course, our penchant for the most obvious jokes in the world.
But before all that, R. Kelly won’t be singing shit as he’s had to have some emergency throat surgery which means he won’t be performing for an indefinite period. Real talk. Or… y’know… No talk.