Have we mentioned that we’re liveblogging the Eurovision Song Contest on Saturday? We are. Please come back then and validate us.

Only on Saturday, mind you. We’re not liveblogging any of those poncey Eurovision semi-finals. Especially not the one tonight, even though it could well be the last we’ll see of either of today’s participants. We refuse to liveblog that. You can watch it on TV if you like, just be aware that doing so makes you a gigantic nimrod if you do.

Here’s the Eurovision 2009 for Malena Ernman from Sweden and Lovebugs from Switzerland…

Sweden · Malena Ernman, La voix

Eurovision, like all things in life, tends to move through stages. Just off the top of our heads we can remember a Turkish-influenced stage, a hard rock stage and a transsexual Israeli disco stage. But could the next big Eurovision fad be opera? On the basis of La Voix by Malena Ernman, this year’s Swedish European representative, probably not. It’s not so much opera as a weird opera/techno hybrid, which is obviously quite an uncomfortable mix. It sounds, in fact, like a song that should be performed during the opening ceremony of the Gay Olympics. And since Eurovision essentially IS the Gay Olympics, La Voix should be pretty unstoppable. Or at least it would be if Sweden was a former Soviet state. But it isn’t. In summary, then, bleugh.

Switzerland · Lovebugs, The Highest Heights

IMPORTANT! Before you click on the video above, read a few of Lovebugs’ achievements: they’ve supported The Rolling Stones. Their new album was produced by one of U2’s producers. According to their Eurovision biography, their music is characterised by ‘atmospheric guitars and melancholic underlying themes, paired with a hypnotic, driving beat’. So The Highest Heights, the song chosen to represent both Switzerland and Lovebugs at Eurovision, must be pretty special, right? Well, almost. The song seems to have been designed with massive stadiums in mind, and sounds a little bit like a cross between Coldplay and Black Kids. And we sort of like it. Do we like it because it’s good, or because it’s not tinny disco nonsense performed by a bimbo? You tell us. Honestly, we’ve lost the ability to think.