When hecklerspray’s eyes first met those of our sweet wife, it was as if she wasn’t in a crate at all. As the UPS truck pulled away it seemed to pull our deepest worries with it. After all – it was love we were feeling.
After we crow-barred out over 100 nails we realized Melva hadn’t really been gazing at us lovingly. She was actually in a medically induced coma for shipping purposes, and her eyes had just happened to roll back in the direction of her air holes.
Imagine our dismay. Also, imagine Alec Baldwin‘s dismay in a separate mail-order-bride incident.
