Posts tagged as:

madonna

Madonna’s Next Lover – Candidates Revealed!

by Josh Burt

Hey man, don’t sit around feeling all sorry for Madonna because she hasn’t got a boyfriend. That would be a massive waste of time. Instead, peruse the list of potential suitors below, and decide which one you would consider a worthy follow-up to that pouting Jesus character who recently made a run for it. Madonna, [...]

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Madonna & Jesus Luz To Complete Pun Holy Trinity With A Baby

by Amy Grindhouse

Madonna and Jesus wish to complete the holy trinity of bad puns, by procreating. Though probably rumour, it suits our evil ends to mercilessly poke fun of the couple. 51-year-old Madonna and her 23-year-old boyfriend – a boyfriend who appears to have only just sprouted chin pubes – are rumoured to want a child together. [...]

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Madonna’s Stupid Shoes To Save All Gypsies

by Shawn Lindseth

Being a gypsy is an affliction that mostly just effects the gay community. The men therein go to sleep wearing beautiful sequinned pyjamas, and then wake up dressed like Aladdin clutching a stolen loaf of bread. It’s tragic, it’s disheartening, and perhaps worst of all – nobody knows the cause. Granted, this is all according to our late [...]

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Guy Ritchie Still Loves Madonna, Even Though She’s A Huge Retard

by Stuart Heritage

If there’s one thing that Madonna isn’t, it’s a retard. Old, gap-toothed, embarrassing, yes – but not retarded.

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Madonna May Be Considering Marrying 22-Year-Old Jesus

by Amy Grindhouse

Madonna is said to be considering getting married to her 22-year-old partner, Jesus Luz. Yes, you heard us. In a series of rather comical coincidences – that you could not make up unless you were hell-bent on being labelled a heathen – the queen of the baby-snatchers is rumoured to wish to marry her child [...]

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Oh Dear, Michael Jackson Praised Hitler!

by Josh Burt

There is a book coming out called The Michael Jackson Tapes, and it looks set to send a few jaws hurtling towards the floor, then shattering, whilst eyes pop out on stalks, then go back in again. Kind of like in cartoons. Because, in the book, the crazy melty-clownface, during an interview with a learned [...]

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Sarah Michelle Gellar Gives Baby Normal Name! WTF??

by Josh Burt

Some people just don’t quite know how to correctly behave when they’re famous. Yes, we’re talking about you, Sarah Michelle Gellar! And you, Freddie Prinze Jr! Don’t try to hide away from our steely gaze. You both once had the world at your feet. For Christ’s sake, you could have been the next Tom Cruise [...]

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Madonna Loves Gypsies Way More Than You Do

by Stuart Heritage

Madonna is at her happiest when she’s deliberately upsetting people – which probably explains Body of Evidence, actually.

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WEBTHUMP! 29 July 2009

by Stuart Heritage

10 – Angry nuns. You heard – Darkbeige 9 – Kelly Clarkson (sort of) rips off Beyonce, refuses to shut up about it – Amy Grindhouse 8 – If you’ve been watching David on Big Brother and thinking “But where do I know him from?”, here’s your answer. You’ll thank us for this – Watchwithmothers [...]

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Buy Some Madonna Recordings That Are Possibly Worse Than Her Albums

by Shawn Lindseth

Good news if you’re the kind of person who still likes Madonna! Somebody’s now selling a 4″ x 6″ square of her skin stretched over a small wooden frame. We’ve heard there are several moles vaguely formed in the shape of the big dipper, and if you follow the image, navigationally speaking, you’ll eventually wind [...]

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