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Madonna Pays Touching Tribute to Herself at MTV VMAs

August 21st, 2018 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

I’ve been sticking by the MTV VMAs for more than twenty years, but last night was the last fucking straw for me. First of all, both “This is America” by Childish Gambino and “Apeshit” by Beyonce and Jay-Z were nominated for Video of the Year. Both were visually stunning and politically relevant, plus both those songs are fucking dope. But you know what won Video of the Year? Motherfucking “Havana” by Camilla Cabello.

That might seem like the straw that broke the MTV VMAs back, but Camilla beating Gambino and the Carters wasn’t even the stupidest part of the night. The dumbest part of the whole show? When MTV decided to let Madonna do a tribute to Aretha Franklin. And since Madonna is apparently now Lady Donald Trump, she made the entire tribute about herself.

10 Celebrity Feminists that SHOCKINGLY Have Breasts!!!

March 7th, 2017 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

So, the super educated, talented, intelligent, beautiful actress, Emma Watson, recently posed for Vanity Fair magazine to pimp out her new beastiality meets Stockholm syndrome flick, Beauty and the Beast.

Inside the magazine, Emma poses for some pics showing some side and underboob and for some reason people are losing their damn minds and coming at her for posing topless while claiming to be feminist. Jesus take the wheel here with me today…

Madonna Nudes Are Right Here – We Got Them All! (267 PICS)

You can’t throw a stone without hitting a Madonna nude photo on the internet. This woman has so many cock teasing/self adoring naked pictures of herself, it was a semi-pain in the ass to do this blog up. The final count? 267 pictures. Goddamn we’re thorough.

You know Madonna. She’s probably the most famous female woman in the past 50 years or so apart from Mother Theresa. It’s quite amazing how she managed to stay relevant for so long, especially when our collective attention span is so short. The Queen of media manipulation and controversy. The Empress and pioneer of aggressive in-yo-face sexuality. She was Gaga before Gaga was Gaga.

Piers Morgan Mansplains to Lady Gaga and Madonna

December 14th, 2016 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

Recently, both Lady Gaga and Madonna have come forward and publically discussed their past sexual assaults, with Gaga also revealing that she suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder as a result of hers. For the most part, people have been really supportive of these women and their revelations…then there is Piers Morgan.

Piers took to Twitter to explain how ptsd is a military disorder and how Madonna and Gaga only ALLEGED rape, meaning they might not have actually been raped, because, you know, he’s such a decent and good guy.

The Top Hot Model Celebrity Kids

September 6th, 2016 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

We all know that Kris and Bruce Jenner made epic hot babe model, Kendall, but in the world of celebrity, let’s be real: when so many good looking people keep making kids, they’re going to produce ridiculously attractive offspring who will probably end up modeling because, you know, nepotism!

While I think some celebrity kid models are legit only getting work because of their famous last names (I see you Sofia Richie and Anwar Hadid), some of them legit deserve to be in front of a camera to have their beauty shared with the world.

10 Best MTV VMA Moments (So Far)

August 27th, 2016 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

The MTV Video Music Awards are tomorrow, so I’ve been celebrating it by posting some sweet lists to relive its rich cultural history. Yesterday I looked at some of the best vma outfits, today I’m going to take a walk down memory lane and remind you all of some of my favorite vma moments.

So while Drake is busy taking out billboards to celebrate Rihanna’s Vanguard award at this year’s ceremony (what’s the deal with their relationship?! Will we ever get the truth??), I’m going to force some of my favorite MTV memories on you.

10 Best MTV VMA Outfits of All Time

August 26th, 2016 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

So, the MTV Video Music Awards are coming up this Sunday, and I have been watching this shit for legit 20 years which makes me feel old af. In celebration of me watching my 20th MTV Video Music Awards ceremony, I decided to spend this weekend looking back on some fond memories of mine.

Today, I’m going to look back at 10 of my favorite outfits from the VMAs over the years. I mean, I say the best outfits of all time, but I obviously mean since like 1995. Yes, I realize the awards have been around since like ’84, but I wasn’t alive then and MTV didn’t exist to me til ’95 so, you know, deal with it.

The MET Ball Was a Robot Hooker Shit Show

May 3rd, 2016 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

metball

So the annual Vogue Met Costume Ball was last night and this year’s theme was Manus x Machina: Fashion in the Age of Technology, which means that almost every bitch up in the place dressed up like a sexy robot. I mean, in reality none of them looked like robot hookers and most of them actually looked fantastic.

Well, except Taylor Swift. She kinda looked like a robot hooker. Actually, no, I take that back. Taylor looked like a goody goody who is trying to shed her uppity image because she’s 27 and totally has sex now, so SHE decided to dress like a robot lot lizard, which is, in a sense, a hooker. Just, you know, a special kind of hooker. But, I digress.

Madonna Traumatized Drake at Coachella

April 15th, 2015 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

Though the world of internet memes would have you believe that Drake is desperate for love, even the softest man in rap has his limits. Cue Madonna, who performed with him this past weekend at Coachella (aka the festival of assholes) and decided to go all dementor on Drake’s ass by sucking out his soul on stage in front of a bunch of high rich kids who wanted to pretend to be hippies for a couple of days.

The look on Drake’s face in the exact look I had when my mom had one too many drinks at the family Christmas party and started grinding on me to Bruno Mars. Actually, scratch that, the look on Drake’s face reminds me of the first time I tried grapefruit juice. I fucking HATE grapefruit juice. It tastes like someone drank a ton of poison, threw it up, bottled it, and called it juice. Maybe that’s what Madonna taste like now?