Everyone knows that Elvis is dead. We think it’s because he fell off a train or something. He was fumbling for a twinkie and grabbed way past his point of balance.
He glided for a few feet with his jumpsuit wings, but he wasn’t good at steering and smashed into a light post. Over the next five minutes his neck was snapped in two. Not from the train – he was just gliding really slow. If you didn’t already know, we’re sorry to have to break it to you. The king is dead. Don’t worry though because he lives on in pictures.
New pictures.
That’s right – brand new pics of the king have emerged. They may or may not have titles like Elvis: Sweating With Resolve, Elvis Picking Things Off His Skin or Elvis Gliding Into A Lamp Post/Goodbye Elvis. That last one we find offensive.
Careful how you name stuff, photographer.
