You know that girl who Lindsay Lohan keeps traipsing around hand in hand with, the one widely regarded by everyone to be her girlfriend?

Well, guess what? She is Lindsay Lohan’s girlfriend. Sort of. We think. In a telephone interview with a radio station on Monday, Lindsay Lohan explained that she had been going out with Samantha Ronson “for a very long time” – the closest she’s ever come to publicly admitting a lesbian relationship.

Goodness. First Clay Aiken and now Lindsay Lohan. Today really seems to be the day for admitting long-kept secrets about your sexuality. And, thanks to this spirit of openness, we’ve decided that it’s our turn too – Mum, Dad, we only get aroused by watching pregnant midget lesbian poo porn. But only if one of the midgets is an amputee and the other one is dressed like Ringo Starr as the Pope from Lisztomania.

Too much?