Sean Penn Doesn’t Want To Divorce His Wife Any More The Sean Penn/ Robin Wright Penn divorce was the one divorce that everyone was looking forward to, but now the bastards have spoilt it. How? By flipping well falling back in love again, that's how. Although they filed for divorce in December, Sean Penn and Robin Wright Penn have now decided to call the divorce off so that they can sit around kissing and holding hands for the indefinite future. We feel sick - this isn't how Hollywood marriages are supposed to go at all. Where's the infidelity, the bitterness, the petty public games of one-upmanship? Where, damn it, is the embarrassing sexual encounter with the seven-foot transsexual hooker? Sean Penn and Robin Wright Penn, your happiness infuriates us.

Lindsay Lohan Wants A Kylie And Rihanna Musical Orgy!

Lindsay Lohan wants to merge the musical styles of Kylie and Rihanna for her upcoming album.

Lindsay Lohan is determined to pursue her music career, according to The Daily Telegraph (of Australia), with Kylie's and Rihanna's back catalogue the inspiration behind her new record. Lohan said:

"I want it to be dance. I want it to be kind of Kylie Minogue meets Rihanna. I hope to tour with it and I hope to really promote it. I've already done three songs. I'm doing my third in New York, actually."

Bannerman & Cerys Still Blathering On About Love

The highlight of I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here this year was the blossoming romance between Mark Bannerman and Cerys Matthews, possibly the two people in the whole world you've thought about least over the last five years.

You see, even though Mark Bannerman had a girlfriend and Cerys Matthews had hands that looked like geriatric scrotum-skin stretched across several wire coathangers, the pair of them fell in love during their time on I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here. And not just any kind of love, either - Mark Bannerman and Cerys Matthews found the kind of deep everlasting love that only washed-up popstars and people from failed wrestling-based reality TV shows can encounter after spending 15 minutes in a cleared-out piece of forest together. And, by christ, we wish they'd both shut up about it.