Articles tagged with: Love child
News likely to shock anyone with eyes, a brain, at least an ear and possibly a face just in! Love child scandal! Fiasco! Controversy! Other shocking words to grab attention! For it seems that those who are fit to make claims - i.e. the British tabloids - are doing just that, in claiming that Michael Jackson has an illicit love-baby who is now a full-man. Yes, a full-man named Omer Bhatti, who also happens to be a Norwegian rapper. Well that's it settled then - if he's a Norwegian rapper he has to be Michael Jackson's illegitimate, product-of-a-one-night-stand son.
Mark our words - there shall be a time when the kingdom of Lohan falls.
There will be no more delightful Disney movies starring a girl with an awful lot of lesbian curiosity, there will be no more second-rate reality shows starring a mother with an awful lot of child-acting curiosity - and perhaps worst of all, a lot less to blog about.
All will be a memory.
But fear not - for there is one who could save us! It's another Lohan - a secret Lohan - conceived one night when a horny and separated Michael Lohan claims to have boned some old lady out of her head, but not in those words. Now this woman claims a child as a byproduct - and he thinks she might be telling the truth.
You never know when you'll die, but we have a feeling that we'll be around for a few more years thanks to our lack of illegitimate love children.
Because, without an illegitimate love child there'll be nobody around to contest our will and heap even more emotional suffering on our already distraught loved ones. And that's as big a part of death as toe-tags and scratching on the inside of your coffin at your own funeral.
Luckily though, Heath Ledger was ready for death because if reports are to be believed, Heath Ledger fathered an illegitimate love child when he was 17. Now, finally, perhaps people can start gracelessly squabbling over Heath's estate in a way that's uncomfortable to watch. About time too, if you ask us.
