Well, it looks like remembering it is all you’ll be able to do, as the courtyard square from the Back To The Future films is just one of the many movie milestones that has been eaten up by a blazing fire raging its way through Universal Studios, Los Angeles.

According to L.A Fire Department Chief Michael Freeman, the impact of the fire on a New York street mock-up was as such:

“Those are basically building fronts with some walls but they’re very susceptible to rapid burning… it also got into the King Kong building. That building is totally destroyed.”

Hecklerspray has an army of informants in Los Angeles (okay, one bloke who lives in his car nearby, watching famous people through binoculars and surviving purely on Cheetos and Mountain Dew), and we’ve managed to cobble together an exclusive list of things that have been lost in the blaze so far:

- Every copy of Fuhrer Time!, Adam Sandler’s controversial unreleased Third Reich comedy

- Richard Gere’s gerbil farm, which exists purely because he likes looking at gerbils, and for no other reason whatsoever

- The cast and crew of Highlander 6

- Main Chapel of the Church Of Costner

- Lindsay Lohan’s stash

- Like, some totally fucking awesome monster movie masks that would have, like, fucking ruled if we could have borrowed them and gone to some party, bro

- Burt Reynold’s favourite Nissan Micra

- Heath Ledger’s hiding place, from which he was going to emerge on The Dark Knight’s release day in the most elaborate publicity stunt ever

- The collected tears of Cuba Gooding Jr, labelled in bottles such as ‘career loss,’ ‘lack of self-respect,’ and ‘any memories associated with Boat Trip‘

- Six thousand Mexican cleaning staff

- The script for Battlefield Earth 2

But tough luck, because neither of those things will happen for at least the next half-year – Michelle Rodriguez, the star of those original movies, has just started her six-month jail sentence for constantly being unable to follow simple probation rules. But it's not all bad news, because now she's been locked up in the Century Regional Detention Facility in Los Angeles, Michelle Rodriguez will get to take part in the jail's annual inter-inmate Secret Santa. What will Michelle Rodriguez be given? A bucket of piss? A bucket of poo? A bucket of piss and poo all mixed up? A vigorous stabbing? Oh, how we wish we could take part in Michelle Rodriguez's Secret Santa, too.

Of all the celebrity jail-sentences that have taken place this year, it's heartening to discover that the final celebrity to be locked up in 2007 is Michelle Rodriguez, because she's been in trouble with the law so often that we're taking this new sentence as God's way of telling us that 2008 is going to be just fine.

Not that it's especially new news that Michelle Rodriguez is in jail – she was sentenced to six months back in October – but, well, it's Christmas Eve and so little has actually happened that it's either we tell you about this or we do what all the news programmes have done and try to make out that people going Christmas shopping just before Christmas somehow constitutes a top breaking story. 

So then, Michelle Rodriguez is in jail, but what for? Why, the same old nonsense that she always gets in trouble for – failing to keep her nose clean for long enough to let her probation period pass smoothly. There was a drink-driving arrest, some sort of hit and run, a failure to carry out her community service and consumption of alcohol three times in the period when Rodriguez was wearing a SCRAM anklet, all of which was too much for the judge to bear. So Michelle Rodriguez now has to sit out the full six-month sentence with no early release, no home confinement and no work furlough.

Sounds hellish to us, but Michelle Rodriguez is bound to enjoy it. Last time she was in prison – for a full four-hour stretch in 2006 – Michelle Rodriguez announced that:

"I'm a gypsy. I can see beauty in a jail cell."

So, by treating her sentence as a six-month jail cell beauty-finding expedition, Michelle Rodriguez will focus on the positives and get through her jail term easily. And it's not even as if Michelle Rodriguez's statement was that stupid in the first place – that time Crosseyed Mary The Attempted Murderer wrote 'Kill Me Now' in shit on the wall of the cell that Michelle is about to inherit, holding the turd like a dirty biro, was an awful lot like Van Gogh painting that famous picture of his, or something.

Anyway, Michelle Rodriguez will be spending her time at the Century Regional Detention Facility, which is the same jail that Paris Hilton got to spend three weeks of her time in earlier this year. So who knows, perhaps she'll leave in six months full of the same determination to make the world a better place as Paris did. Maybe she'll even even up getting naked and painting herself gold like Paris, too.

In which case we're taking that comment about God making everything OK for us in 2008 back right now.

Read more:

Michelle Rodriguez begins 6-month jail term - Reuters 

Though he denies the charges, it's been reported that Scott Weiland – a man whose love of drugs has seen him imprisoned in the past – has been arrested after he crashed his car in Los Angeles, refused to give a blood or urine sample and then acted all impaired. Luckily nobody was hurt in the November 21 crash. Well, we say luckily, but you'd have to be a gigantic fan of badly-dated American stadium widdly-woo rawk not to be slightly bummed out that a shard of windscreen didn't fly off and damage Scott Weiland's vocal chords, at least temporarily.

We've never been banned from Japan, but if we were, the first thing we'd probably do is go out and crash our car on loads of drugs. That's what Scott Weiland from Velvet Revolver did, you see, and he's totally our favourite tiresome, scrawny, Nazi uniform-wearing, drug-addicted hard rock ninny in, like, the whole freaking world.

According to reports, Scott Weiland has been arrested for driving under the influence of drugs after a November 21 car crash in Los Angeles. Apparently the California Highway Patrol investigating the crash noticed that Scott Weiland was acting impaired, so they attempted to take blood and urine samples from him, but he refused.

Scott Weiland also managed to fail a sobriety test, although this will be far easier for Weiland's lawyers to contest – especially if the test involved singing a song in a way that didn't involve sounding like a drunk middle-aged Dad at a special 1980s Gillette TV commercial jingle-themed karaoke party.

News of Scott Weiland's arrest must come as galling news for the rest of Velvet Revolver, who all left Guns N' Roses because they were fed up with being the backing band for a chubby leg-chewer who spends decades fine-tuning albums that nobody will ever hear. And now they're stuck in a band with a singer who dresses like the world's least menacing Nazi and can't even drive a car without buggering it up and getting arrested any more. We're guessing that Axl Rose has never seemed to well-adjusted in comparison.

However, Scott Weiland's publicist Kristine Ashton-Magnuson denies that he'd even gone near any drugs in the first place, not even the good drugs that stop headaches, cure Glaucoma or kill tapeworm:

"Scott was not driving under the influence of a drug, legal or illegal. He voluntarily took a breathalyzer test which the defense believes registers well within the legal limit."

Not that Scott Weiland should necessarily worry too much about his DUI arrest – after all, when Nicole Richie loaded up on drugs and drove into speeding motorway traffic she only got to spend about 82 minutes in jail for it. So, you know, those shiv-wielding inmates had better move faster than they've ever done before. That's all we're saying.

Read more:

Velvet Revolving Door — Weiland Arrested Again – TMZ 

But for a handful of lucky Los Angeles blood-donors, that's exactly what they'll see. Now that she's finally out of rehab following her DUI arrests, Lindsay Lohan is now accepting her punishment – 10 days working at an American Red Cross blood services facility. Yesterday Lindsay Lohan worked a seven-hour shift at an LA blood bank, and is expected to do the same again today. Working her community service at the blood bank is thought to be the closest that Lindsay Lohan has ever come to giving blood, because even after rehab the residual amount of booze left in her system would probably be enough to curdle a normal human's heart if it was ever used in a transfusion.

Community service works wonders on celebrities because it puts them back in touch with real-life, teaches them the value of hard work and, in Boy George's case at least, offers a small window that can't be spent chaining up male prostitutes to his wall. And Lindsay Lohan's community service is more suitable that most.

As her wild 2007 draws to a close – one that involved, rehab, a DUI arrest, rehab, another DUI arrest, rehab again and two movies that honestly couldn't have been worse if they co-starred Geri Halliwell as Lindsay Lohan's wacky older sister – Lindsay Lohan now has to face up to what she's done. Although technically Lindsay Lohan was sentenced to four days in jail after her second DUI arrest – the one that she cleverly preempted by shouting "I can't get in trouble. I'm a celebrity. I can do whatever the fuck I want." – she managed to get it reduced to two so long as she carried out ten days of community service.

Sadly, Lindsay Lohan had to take the community service in Los Angeles and not her recent home of Utah, where she could have provided invaluable support scaring the locals with fire after dark. And that's why Lindsay Lohan spent most of yesterday working at an American Red Cross blood services facility in a Los Angeles suburb, turning up at noon and leaving at 7pm with a book entitled Blood under her arm, a strange red smear across her face and a new-found irrational fear of garlic and crucifixes.

Sending Lindsay Lohan to a blood bank for her community service was always going to be the most sensible option for her. Not only will she be able to repay her debt to a community still scared of setting foot outside in case a scrawny drunk nitwit careers her car into one of their shrubs, but it's also Lindsay Lohan's chance to help replenish the blood stocks she gobbled up when she gashed her leg on Bryan Adams' teapot or any of the other times she's managed to clumsily injure herself on objects that even toddlers would generally assume to be safe.

Not only that, but all this exposure to blood will help Lindsay Lohan immeasurably if she ever either decides to make a film about blood or get a part-time job mopping up the blood after illegal redneck cockfights when she realises that nobody wants to go and see her in films any more. So probably the latter.