Grown Up Gossip & Internet Villainy
They always said 2012 would be the year of the Apocalypse. I just presumed that it would be signified by horses running rampant through streets and towering infernos burning everything to the ground. I didn’t think that it would end like this. But it has. People, I don’t mean to alarm, but currently the two biggest producers of porn in the world aren’t filming anything.
Are you the sort of person that slows down on the road when you see an accident up ahead, contorting your neck into all sorts of positions that were hitherto reserved for those that practiced the Karma Sutra, in the hope that you may catch a glimpse of what was once a person, just like you, but is now nothing more than an empty bag of bones spread across a dashboard?
Then, my morbidly curious friend, you're going to LOVE this!
Whitney Houston tragically died at the age of 48 this weekend, allegedly whilst on drugs, in the bathtub of her hotel room.
And now YOU can see the very bathtub she died in.
Remember the courtyard square from the Back To The Future films? Sure you do. It was the courtyard. You know – the one shaped like a square. From the Back To The Future films.
Well, it looks like remembering it is all you’ll be able to do, as the courtyard square from the Back To The Future films is just one of the many movie milestones that has been eaten up by a blazing fire raging its way through Universal Studios, Los Angeles.
As a rational human being, the two things you want most for Christmas are to see Return Of BloodRayne and Girlfight 2: Not As Sexy As You'd Think finally get greenlit.
But tough luck, because neither of those things will happen for at least the next half-year – Michelle Rodriguez, the star of those original movies, has just started her six-month jail sentence for constantly being unable to follow simple probation rules. But it's not all bad news, because now she's been locked up in the Century Regional Detention Facility in Los Angeles, Michelle Rodriguez will get to take part in the jail's annual inter-inmate Secret Santa. What will Michelle Rodriguez be given? A bucket of piss? A bucket of poo? A bucket of piss and poo all mixed up? A vigorous stabbing? Oh, how we wish we could take part in Michelle Rodriguez's Secret Santa, too.
Celebrity DUI arrests have been all the go this year – but now that Velvet Revolver frontman Scott Weiland has got one, we can officially declare the trend dead.
Though he denies the charges, it's been reported that Scott Weiland – a man whose love of drugs has seen him imprisoned in the past – has been arrested after he crashed his car in Los Angeles, refused to give a blood or urine sample and then acted all impaired. Luckily nobody was hurt in the November 21 crash. Well, we say luckily, but you'd have to be a gigantic fan of badly-dated American stadium widdly-woo rawk not to be slightly bummed out that a shard of windscreen didn't fly off and damage Scott Weiland's vocal chords, at least temporarily.
As great as community service is, we can't imagine a more unsettling sight than lying back to give blood and seeing Lindsay Lohan hovering over you like some sort of skinny vampire.
But for a handful of lucky Los Angeles blood-donors, that's exactly what they'll see. Now that she's finally out of rehab following her DUI arrests, Lindsay Lohan is now accepting her punishment – 10 days working at an American Red Cross blood services facility. Yesterday Lindsay Lohan worked a seven-hour shift at an LA blood bank, and is expected to do the same again today. Working her community service at the blood bank is thought to be the closest that Lindsay Lohan has ever come to giving blood, because even after rehab the residual amount of booze left in her system would probably be enough to curdle a normal human's heart if it was ever used in a transfusion.
