Articles tagged with: London
In a news nugget sure to change the very way we think about humanity itself, Lindsay Lohan has arrived in London to do some stuff. Hold us back, this could be epoch-making. Speculation has been mounting that the star of Herbie and, umm... hecklerspray has timed her arrival to coincide with that of former/current were-they-weren't-they lover/pal/fanny chum Sam Ronson, who is in town to get paid to play a couple of records. It's called "DJing", apparently. Ah well, at least it involves more talent than standing still and managing not to die while being photographed. For money. Which exactly what Lindsay is doing.
As Michael Jackson was born of his mother's womb while filming a Pepsi commercial with his hair on fire, his main thought was probably about how he'd one day like to inflict that same pain onto his own child. And now he finally will. As everybody who enjoys watching glittery skeletons dance all about already knows, MJ is having a series of big comeback gigs this summer - and he's reportedly decided to use the opportunity to launch the career of his 12-year-old son Prince Michael I.
People of London, pin up your bunting! Roll out your barrels of Jesus Juice! Cover the eyes of your squeamish young! Michael Jackson's coming to town! And it's all thanks to that sheik's lawsuit that threatens to push Michael Jackson into permanent financial ruin. According to reports, Michael Jackson will fly to London next week to give his testimony in the case that literally everyone's calling 'about the millionth Michael Jackson lawsuit of the last couple of years, and certainly one of the most dreary'. But you know what this means? This means that if Michael Jackson's going to court then the old Michael Jackson lookalike used in the TV coverage of his child molestation trial will get some work that doesn't involve starring in adverts about the dangers of being hit in the face with a firework or being a scarecrow for once! This must be the happiest day of that particular Michael Jackson impersonator's life.
Being Metallica must be great - you get to be in a metal band for 20-odd years, you get lots of money, you get to tour the world many times over and you get legions of devoted fans. Oh, and you get to be complete and total prannocks about seemingly everything involving the internet, yet still somehow manage to maintain the credibility that would clearly be destroyed if you were any other musical act in the world. Things, they are strange. For this time Metallica have decided that allowing people they have invited to listen to their new music to review it would be something of a cardinal sin. Possibly on a par with the holocaust, but we're still waiting for a quote on that one.
Britney Spears has been offered the chance to play nutjob Blanche DuBois in an upcoming London stage play of Tennessee Williams’ A Streetcar Named Desire.
You may be wondering why on earth anyone in their right mind would deem Britney Spears an appropriate figure to take on the role of one of America’s all time great femme fatales but, before you get carried away with that thought, just stop to consider a few things:
First of all, Blanche, as all over 50s and film students know, comes from a small town in Mississippi. And where does Britney come from? That’s right; a small town in Mississippi.
Madonna has said that she will not vote for Ken Livingston at the upcoming London Mayoral elections.
Madonna, as we all know, is a renegade - in both senses of the word.
Indeed, if you were to google the word 'renegade', the returning results would probably offer little more than a biog of her maverick career, alongside the likes of Jesse James, Billy the Kid and Mel Gibson.
It wasn't so long ago that we were banging on about Stars in our MySpace Trawl feature. Whilst we'd like to think that it inspired somebody to invest in their music, we couldn't be quite sure. No banners were on prominent display with slogans such as "Hecklerspray brought us here" and "honk if you like hecklerspray".
Still you can't have everything you want in life, but regardless of our own potential ego-boosting propaganda of this band not being recognised, the venue was still rammed to capacity. For those who had never been to the place before, it was a unique little venue. The theatre-style layout presented the perfect viewing platform from nearly every angle. Though if you wanted to be packed in close with your fellow gig-goer, the chance was still there.
They tried to make Amy Winehouse go to rehab, but she said n... oh, you've already heard that one. Never mind.
Anyway, thanks to the release of that video where Amy Winehouse appears to be inhaling every last atom of crack in the universe through a glass pipe after a mighty big drug binge, Amy's finally decided to get herself off to rehab for good.
True, Amy Winehouse does already have one unsuccessful rehab stint under her belt, but she's learnt her lesson with this rehab - this one's in central London and not on a private island, so she won't have to wait for a helicopter when she inevitably sacks it off and goes down the pub.
