London - HecklerSpray

Lindsay Lohan Actually Went To Work

September 29th, 2014 By Megan Leitch

Lindsay Lohan has been keeping a relatively quiet profile as of late, or at least quiet for her.? Only a handful of incidents where was fall down “sober” is a pretty impressive feat, you gotta admit. She’s been in London for a few months preparing for her?theater debut that no one honestly figured she’d pull off.

But the first run was this week, and Lindsay managed to not only show up, but not pass out on stage or steal the wardrobe (yet).? Of course, the reviews are mostly terrible, but I think that is just because people need to seriously lower their Lohan expectations.

Shia LaBeouf Finally Gets A Much Deserved Dick Kick

October 15th, 2013 By Megan Leitch

Someone has seriously pissed in Shia LaBeouf’s Cheerios of Life because he has been a major douchebag the last couple of years.? Between bar fights, leaking private emails about his costars, and acting like his shit doesn’t stink, LaBeouf has gone from sweet kid to grimy asshole in a very short time.

While in London, LaBeouf was being his usual shmucko self and someone finally had enough and gave him the knee to the groin that he so deserved.? But because someone upstairs wants to punish us, no one managed to get this wonderful act on camera.

Is Justin Bieber Becoming a Sloppy Mess?

March 6th, 2013 By Chris Starr

The curse of the young child celebrity appears to have struck again, knocking down loveable/hateable (delete as appropriate) Canadian pop star Justin Bieber. And boy, are some of his fans pissed.

You see, Bieber manages to lure in an audience that is best described as pre-teen. A lot of his listeners are 8 or 9-year olds who can’t really tell that his music is largely dross, and they simply like him because he appears to be an inoffensive muppet.

Terrorist Plot To Destroy The Saturdays Is Thwarted By Its Lack Of Existence

November 4th, 2011 By Kris Silver

DON?T PANIC EVERYONE! Frankie from The Saturdays has been found alive and well! Go back about your business.

The World was left in a state of shock when The Saturdays pitched up on London’s Oxford Street to turn on the Christmas lights, only to find that Frankie (the one people know the name of) wasn?t there.

It turns out that the former S Club Juniors singer was just feeling a bit poorly, so wasn?t able to join her band mates when they officially started Christmas on Tuesday evening.

Alice Cooper Wants You Freaks To Freak One Off All Over His Stage

June 15th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Alice Cooper is just great isn’t he? He’s the old dame of rock ‘n’ roll, pissing about with snakes, guillotines and fake blood, all the while, churning out goth-pop and stadium horror rock with a cheeky glint in his eye.

He takes his work about as seriously as hecklerspray takes writing.

Yet somehow, despite the Iggy Stooge shock-tactics and releasing LPs that come in schoolgirl knickers, he’s become a hugely famous star. Your mum probably likes some of his tunes. And so, you should have a nice family day-out to his UK Halloween shows which, in fairness, look like they’re going to be one gigantic laughathon. With cobwebs. However, Alice Cooper needs you… if you’re a freakshow of a human that is.

Badvertising: Hotel Derek Does It With Criminal Damage

August 7th, 2012 By Michael Park

Badvertising likes nothing better than seeing the breakdown of an advertising executive portrayed through their adverts. It heartens us to see people so devoid of creative talent making adverts which are actually supposed to be designed to sell a service but leave the target audience feeling more bemused than Lindsay Lohan’s gynaecologist. The world needs more confused, off-message advertising but it won’t get it. Why, you ask? Oh… you didn’t…

The advertising world is filled with people so nefariously clever that they can make you suddenly decide that you need something you’ve previously never even considered, just by the power of suggestion through a stupid combination of words and moving images.

Sometimes it won’t hit you for weeks or even months but rest assured that it will hit you. One minute you’re in the queue at the post office and BANG! Next minute, you’ve bought a Saab and have no recollection of how you got to the showroom or paid for the thing.

Adele’s ?4million Tax Woes

May 27th, 2011 By Kris Silver

It appears as if 23-year-old, London born singer Adele has the Midas touch at the moment. Her album has been at number one for so long that it saw off both the end of the world and Cheryl Cole?s US X-Factor career. She's performed at the Brits to universal acclaim and she's captured the hearts and minds of both sides of the Atlantic.

But turning everything you touch to gold isn't so great when the Tax man comes knocking it seems.

Detroit Robocop City?

February 18th, 2011 By Kris Silver

Robocop was, in a way, the original plastic police officer, except he was made of metal and could actually arrest people, unlike his real life counterparts.

Made from the parts of an old police officer who was brutally murdered by Red Foreman from That 70s Show and scraps of metal collected from a dumpster out the back of the General Motors warehouse, Robocop kicked crimes ass all over Detroit.

People loved Robocop because he stood for law and order, by any means necessary. He was also near indestructible and made an awesome whirring sound whenever he moved, plus he had a massive gun and if there's one things American?s love, it's a hero with a miniature cannon strapped to them at all times.

Pete Wentz Is Back! Wait… Who?

January 27th, 2011 By Kris Silver

The organisers of Hard Rock Calling, that sort of festival like thing that happens in Hyde Park every summer that isn't the O2 Wireless festival, have decided that former Fall Out Boy bassist and pioneer of the musical equivalent of object d?, Pete Wentz, is a suitable choice for a battle of the bands judge.

Right? RIGHT?

If you're lucky enough to have forgotten the mid noughties, here?s a crash course in all things Pete Wentz:

Beyonce Gets Her Doors Smashed Off

July 9th, 2010 By Stuart Heritage

This is just a guess, but it seems fair to suggest that Beyonce has just suffered her worst day ever.

She's been in a car crash. According to reports, Beyonce was getting out of her Mercedes in London this week when another car ploughed in out of nowhere and ripped its door from its hinges.

That's not the worst part, though. The worst part is that a) Beyonce was going to Harrods and b) the other car was a black cab. So basically Beyonce?s day involved a terrifying car crash, a visit to the world's most awful department store and a period of time spent listening to a self-righteous cockney cab driver drone on and on and on about himself. Honestly, it's a miracle that she hasn't flung herself off a bridge yet.