One of the big talking points from the Super Bowl commercial break was… well… Clint Eastwood. Away from that though, there’s a little excitement surrounding the trailer for Marvel’s The Avengers movie.

While most superhero flicks are brooding like Batman at the moment, it appears that The Avengers film is going to be pleasingly dumb, if the trailer is anything to go by.

So if you want to see it, strap in and watch things explode with Captain America (Chris Evans), Thor (Chris Hemsworth), Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr), Scarlett Johansson (Black Widow) and Hulk get into a giant scrap with a fella with long, greasy hair.

The baddie in the piece is called Loki and he’s all cocking his head with an evil eyebrow nonsense while Rob Downey Jr is, well, playing himself.

Elsewhere, Captain America’s shield will get nerds wet, while everyone else with be getting aroused over Scarlett Johansson in a catsuit.

Oh, and there’s aliens and laser beams and all that good stuff.

One thing that people may raise a vague titter at is the exchange between Loki and Iron Man. ”I have an army,” says Tom Hiddleston’s Loki. “We have a Hulk!” Stark replies.

Those superheroes and villains! Do they rehearse this stuff?

Yes they do. Now watch the trailer.

Ever wanted to smell like one of Marvel’s finest? Of course you have. If you said you’d be a stinking liar. See what we did there? Stinking. It’s a joke! A funny joke! Oh, shut up a second and we’ll tell you how you can.

We’ve always longed for our lady friends to smell like Black Widow, and for our friends to smell like rejection, fear and Michael Fassbender: just like the X-Men.

The good people at Jads International, which sounds a lot like one of the stripping troupes that frequently visit the HS bedsit (Nads International) are bringing you a range of aftershaves that are themed around the main characters from the upcoming, and not at all Marvel’s last chance-saloon, The Avengers.

Taking inspiration from Iron Man, Captain America, Thor, The Incredible Hulk (?!), Loki and Nick Fury, they hope to emulate the smells that maketh the man, so for Iron Man we’re presuming it’s a mix of sweat and WD40.

There’s the general BS of what ingredients have gone into them; notes of sandalwood with hints of lime, for instance, but we don’t think you’re going to admit to wear SMASH!, the fragrance inspired by The Incredible Hulk. You do want to get your end away don’t you?

You can buy Patriot (Captain America, duh), Mark VII (Iron Man), SMASH! (Incredible Hulk), Worthy (Thor), Mischief (Loki) and Infinity Formula (Nick Fury) from the Jads International website for much, much more money than they’re probably worth.

If smelling like a sweaty superhero isn’t your thing, then Jads also supplement a Star Trek inspired range of smells. Imagine how awesome everyone would think you were if you went into the office smelling like Sulu.

There’s also some perfumes for the ladies, but we’re still waiting for a She-Hulk and Dazzler inspired scent.

Right, that’s it – if Mickey Rourke doesn’t win Best Actor at Sunday’s Oscars, we’re going to tip a table over.

Because, oh, the speech. Mickey Rourke’s acceptance speech was already going to be a belter, full of the “I had nothing but look at me now” sentiment of his other acceptance speeches – but now it’s going to be even better, because Mickey Rourke’s dog has died.

That means if Mickey Rourke wins his Oscar, we’ll all be treated to a wet-faced eulogy for a chihuahua so tortured that it’ll make Heath Ledger‘s obituary seem like an afterthought. We can’t wait.

The eagle-eyed among you will remember that when Mickey Rourke won his Golden Globe last month, he singled out his dogs for special praise. According to Rourke, the dogs picked him up and helped him to rebuild himself after his notorious self-destruction, giving him a chance when no other human on Earth would.

When that happened, you probably assumed that Mickey Rourke was referring to rottweilers or mastiffs or some other breed that characterised Mickey Rourke’s rough and ready, fiercely loyal persona. But you were wrong.

Mickey Rourke was talking about chihuahuas. You know, the ratty little dogs that Paris Hilton carries around in her handbags. The dogs that were mocked endlessly in Beverly Hills Chihuahua. The dogs that Paula Abdul will occasionally break her nose on when the mood takes her. It doesn’t seem like a great fit, does it?

Not that it matters much now, though, because Mickey Rourke’s favourite chihuahua Loki has just died. E! Online reports:

The Oscar nominee’s Chihuahua, Loki, one of the dogs memorably thanked by Rourke in his Golden Globe acceptance speech, has died, Rourke’s rep confirmed Tuesday to E! News. Loki passed away Monday night at the ripe old age of 18. The pup was prominently photographed walking the red carpet with his master, who called Loki the “love of [his] life,” at the Venice Film Festival in September.

This news is actually quite sad. Mickey Rourke made no secret of how much his dogs meant to him, and so Loki’s death will probably affect him as much as the death of a human loved one. A freakishly small human loved one with bulgy eyes and too much skin who Mickey Rourke paid to have castrated at the earliest opportunity, admittedly, but let’s not spilt hairs.

And also, let’s not get too depressed about Loki’s death. After all, the death of a pet is known to boost an actor’s success when it comes to awards. Right after George Clooney’s pig died in 2006, for example, George was named as the sexiest man on Earth. And now there’s a chance that Mickey Rourke’s favourite dog has died days before he’s named as Best Actor at this year’s Oscars. Dead pets help win awards, everyone knows that.

So, you know, what we suppose we’re trying to say is this: don’t be too surprised if Brad Pitt gets arrested for ramming a stick of dynamite into Maddox‘s rabbit’s mouth before the weekend. That’s all.

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