No. Instead, Angelina Jolie has decided to change by getting two more tattoos etched onto her left arm to commemorate the birth of Knox Leon and Vivienne Marcheline. According to reports, the tattoos come in the form of map coordinates explaining exactly where the twins were born.

They’re not the only coordinate tattoos Angelina Jolie has – in fact, she’s a long-time proponent of them. Angelina Jolie’s arm also bears the coordinates of the birthplace of Maddox, the birthplace of Zahara, the birthplace of Shiloh Nouvel, the birthplace of Pax Thien and the exact location of where Angelina Jolie decided to steal Brad Pitt away from Jennifer Aniston forever.

Good news, wrongheaded Angelina Jolie stalkers. Up until now you probably just wanted to kidnap Angelina Jolie to either get ransom money from Brad Pitt or to just see what her hair smells like, but now you’ve got an added bonus – because the location of your next five holidays are written on Angelina Jolie’s arm.

That’s right, you lucky mentals – Angelina Jolie has the map coordinates of the locations where each of her children were born tattooed on her left arm, and she’s just had the list updated to include the birth locations of her two twins Knox Leon and Vivienne Marcheline.

Imagine – if you got possession of those coordinates you could fly around the world to each of the locations, knowing that you’re standing exactly where Angelina Jolie flopped her placenta out onto the floor or, to be more precise, where the mothers of Angelina Jolie’s adopted babies flopped their placentas out onto the floor. Either way, what’s to stop you going to those places and licking the floor, you disgusting weirdo.

Anyway, regardless of your undeniably creepy intentions, Angelina Jolie showed off her new tattoos during her much-hyped visit to New York, as The Telegraph reports:

The actress showed off the latest addition to her extensive collection of body art at the New York Film Festival screening of her new film, Changeling. The two lines of blue script on her upper left arm detail the longitudinal and latitudinal location of Nice, where Knox and Vivienne were born in July. They are inscribed directly below four similar lines of coordinates which represent the birthplaces of her other four children.

As sweet a gesture as this seems, you shouldn’t be fooled. Angelina Jolie basically uses the tattoos as proof of purchase for her adopted kids. This way it’s much easier for her to return them if one of them goes defective.

Plus, this is obviously a worrying trend, and it genuinely makes us fear for the future. Look, if Angelina Jolie decides to have the longitudinal and latitudinal coordinates of her childrens’ birthplaces tattooed on her body, then it’s only going to get copied by Heat readers. And do you really want to see armies of fat chavs stumbling around with the coordinates for ‘outside KFC’ or ‘my Nan’s toilet’ or ‘all over the Wetherspoons carpet’ scrawled all over their arms? No. No you don’t.

What’s more, we’re worried for Angelina Jolie. If she keeps collecting babies at the rate she’s going, and if she insists on having their birth locations tattooed on her arms after each one, the poor woman’s going to need an arm extension put in before Christmas. And those things hurt.