Ever looked at David Gest and wondered if he keeps his face in position with a large bulldog clip like Kent Brockman from The Simpsons? If so, when he takes it off, does his head look like a hot scrotum?
Either way, Gest seems like a decent enough bloke for someone who has been ravaged by the entertainment industry and mental enough to marry Liza Minnelli while she was in her Aged Alcoholic role (according to Gest himself at least).
And now that the reality TV shows have dried up, Gest thought it would be a good idea to make a film about Michael Jackson, a man who shared the same plastic surgeon with David… which explains why they both look so very, very odd.
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It's being reported that I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here star and ex-husband of Liza Minnelli David Gest has been rushed to hospital with chest pains and respiratory problems, leading to fears that he's suffered a heart attack.
Apparently David Gest was rushed to a private London hospital early this morning, where his condition is now being described as stable. According to David Gest's spokeswoman:
"At 5.30am, David Gest was admitted to hospital, after suffering from severe chest pains and respiratory problems. David is stable and receiving the best medical attention. We are awaiting a further update from doctors."
Hopefully this means that this supposed heart attack wasn't a serious one, and that David Gest will be able to return to his job producing the inexplicable touring stage-based autobiography David Gest Is Nuts – My Life as a Musical starring Shalamar and Gloria Gaynor.
However, we can't help feeling that fate is starting to punish anyone who attended David Gest and Liza Minnelli's wedding back in 2002. First Liza Minnelli collapses and falls off a stage and now David Gest is rushed to hospital with a suspected heart attack. That means it's the turn of the bridesmaids next – quick, someone call Martine McCutcheon and tell her to hide herself safely in a cupboard away from the public eye for about 70 or 80 years.
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David Gest Rushed To Hospital – Metro
With a history like hers, Liza Minnelli must count herself lucky every second that she doesn't suddenly get ill, fall out of a tree or get trampled by a herd of furious stoats.
And, in the big scheme of things, Liza Minnelli collapsing and falling off the stage during a concert in Sweden really isn't the most important thing that's ever happened to her. But it is the most recent, so we'll go with that. Liza Minnelli collapsed and fell off the stage during a concert in Sweden on Wednesday night, and was briefly hospitalised before returning to America. Although Liza is recovering well, that'll be cold comfort to the Swedes – a 61-year-old woman with a funny haircut ploughing through her billionth rendition of New York, New York as part of a slightly overpriced Christmas carol concert would have been the most exciting thing to happen to Sweden, probably since the invention of herring.
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