Liz McClarnon - HecklerSpray

Kerry Katona’s Mum Suggests New Ways To Further Her ‘Career’: Let Us Look At Her PR Form

July 11th, 2011 By hecklerspray staff

Kerry Katona’s mum has told our all-time favourite Sunday tabloid ‘The Star on Sunday’ that she is going to help get her daughter’s life back on track after Kerry was dropped from her management last month.

And how is good ol’ Sue Katona going to achieve this? By encouraging Kerry to text ‘saucy messages’ to her ex. Not the Mark Croft one, the one that we cared about even less. Go mum!

“Sue has very much taken the reigns now and is determined to stop her spiralling out of control like she has so often in the past” ‘A source’ told The Star on Sunday. Because in a week of such a degree of illegitimate journalism, we just want to be honest with you.

Atomic Kitten Singer Liz McClarnon Has No Cool Friends

April 15th, 2011 By Joanna Bolouri

Atomic Kitten. ?Remember them? They were good weren’t they? Oh, that’s right they were amazingly gash but they did release ‘Whole Again’, a song loved by chav women the world over and so heartbreakingly rubbish we once set fire to our own ears in disgust and swore we’d never listen to pop music EVER again.

Kerry Katona used to be in this terrible band until she ran off with potato faced Brian McFadden, shagged him so ferociously babies came out of her vagina and ended up pretending to shop in Iceland while not-so-secretly hoovering up big giant lines of white stuff on camera.

While she’s been on the telly for the past 80 years, blubbering about what a raging mess she is, the others have been quietly growing older and one of them even had a birthday party to celebrate another year of not quite being as famous as that mentalist Katona.

Adventures In Botox: Liz McClarnon

September 6th, 2010 By Ralph Sanders

Do you ever get the feeling that popular TV has been taken over by aliens? There's something about how smooth and emotionless they are.

Look at them, pretending to be human, all the while being unable to make any recognisable facial expression, their taut, stretched skin weirdly aligned over their rough facsimile of human bone structure. Weird isn't it? No, not really. I'm not an idiot; it's all botox and ill-advised plastic surgery. Apart from that Fearne Cotton, she is clearly one of the lizard rulers from the lower levels of fourth dimensional space that David Icke is always banging on about.

Anyway, we all know that people on TV are botoxed up the wazoo, but one of the old members of Atomic Kitten has found a fun new place to inject that precious, precious fluid. Somewhere you might not expect (unless you have a particularly filthy mind, which, to be fair you probably do). Find out after the jump.