Grown Up Gossip & Internet Villainy
Even though she’s got a body like the underside of a giant tortoise’s varnished stomach, Jodie Marsh is very happy with her new bodybuilder look. Very happy. Very, very happy.
In fact, Jodie ‘Oh Jesus Christ, It’s Like The Cuprinol Man Came To Life!’ Marsh is saying… with a completely straight face… that she’s feeling more attractive than ever.
Yes really.
That Amanda Knox lass and her apparently non murdering ways have grabbed all the headlines this week. Which is a shame as this whole murder in Perugia fiasco has completely overshadowed the return of Jodie Marsh.
Some new photos of Jodie, the suspected inspiration for BBC 3 smash Snog, Marry, Avoid, have surfaced that show the former glam? OH MY GOD! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!?!
Seriously. Click over the jump for the fright of your life.
Do you have one of those face things? You do? Bit of a mess, is it? Like an angry bollock with all weird bits of hair and spots and stuff?
Bet you’ve got a lovely personality though. Bit of a charmer, a wit, could have all the ladies in the world if it wasn’t for the unfortunate looking hatstand on your shoulders.
What you need is Dating in the Dark, a Living TV extravaganza, where the rules would only need explaining if you were a total idiot. So listen up. Three boys, three girls all say hello to each other in the dark. They then each choose someone to go on a ‘date’ with. In the dark.
Awesome or Off-Putting is a weekly delve into cryptozoology, ufology, aliens, medical marvels, scientific wonders, secret societies, government conspiracies, cults, ghosts, EVPs, myths, ancient artifacts, religion, strange facts, odd sightings or just the plain unexplainable.
Japan’s housing system is a bit different than the rest of the world’s. For instance, although Tokyo and the surrounding locality constitute the largest metropolitan area in the world, no doubt complete with houses, apartments, sky rises and lofts, sometimes they still make old ladies live in the closets of the seemingly wealthy.
Excuse us actually – it appears our wording there was a bit off. Old ladies secretly living in the closets of younger men has never been state sanctioned in Japan – but it recently happened anyway.
And for an entire year too.
Many depressing things have emerged from the world’s fascination with reality TV – the career of Jade Goody and Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber’s sense of humour rank high among them – but one of the more unexpectedly sad side effects is belief.
Thanks to shows like X Factor, everyone and their dog (honestly, watch Britain’s Got Talent) believe they have what it takes to become the next pop icon/ business tycoon/ celebrity farmer that the world has been waiting for, but the fact is that many of us just aren’t all that good at stuff.
Britain’s Next Top Model is, as it says on the tin, searching high and low in this fair land to unearth the next supermodel, and if there’s one thing that you absolutely have to have here, it’s belief.
It’s official: our gracious, noble Queen Liz junior, has rewritten the record books again by becoming the longest living British monarch in history.
According to Buckingham Palace officials, who have taken into account the exact time Queen Victoria – Liz’s great-great grandmother and now ex-record holder – was born, our own current Queen became the oldest ‘serving’ monarch at 5pm this afternoon.
