HecklerSpray

Grown Up Gossip & Internet Villainy

Gig Review: Soul Rebels Brass Band @ Band On The Wall, Manchester

August 5th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

Soul Rebels Brass Band have a story. And fuck, the white middle classes who will be fawning over this lot as they make their way around Europe, love a tale of triumph over adversity. Like the blues singers who went blind and lost all their fingers, only to grow more fingers, which they also lost, who made amazing dustbowl tales of misery, SRBB have extreme discomfort and tragedy backing them up.

Basically, all you need to know is that they’re from New Orleans and were punched straight in the gut by The Flood, left to whistle by a slow reacting government and using music to drag them out of one kind of funk and straight into another.

However, to focus on this doesn’t really do the Soul Rebels justice. It wouldn’t matter one jot if these guys just happened to be out of town while misery knocked on the door because, when they strike up their invigorating blend of N’Orleans jazz, Lee Dorsey funk and shameless enthusiasm for a good time, you’re not exactly wringing your hands and thinking of tough times.

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Gig Review: Vintage Trouble, Manchester Academy 3

August 5th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

“It’s funny when people ask me that. We like to have a good time, all the time,” said Ty Taylor, lead singer of rock ‘n’ soul outfit, Vintage Trouble. “Like Spinal Tap?” His face fell. See, Vintage Trouble is irony-free soul music. They’ve got a really, really lousy name – Vintage? Really? Why not throw ‘retro’ in there as well? Or ‘stonewashed’? – but loadsa bands have, right?

See, Vintage Trouble take their facsimile version of ’60s soul music around the world which is lapped up by those who were there and still regard it to be the best music in the world. And while you can convince yourself that to be true, there’s something missing from this crew of slick soulsters.

And that’s context.

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Axl Rose Is Still A Massive Tool And Claims Slash Doesn’t Exist

November 25th, 2010 By Randy Figgins

Axl Rose has once again proved to the world that he’s a massive douchebag.? We’re talking an orchestral rock, 8 minutes 57 seconds, inapproriate wedding dresses, helicopter shots of churches, epic douchebag.

But you knew that didn’t you?? Look at him, he’s a 12 year old girl that’s been doing hard drugs for 30 years.? What’s he done lately? Not much, pissed off his few remaining fans by playing diva at gigs and making them wait 15 bloody years for a lacklustre album that nobody bought.

It seems poor Rose can’t take the fact that we all still love Slash.? He’s still a rock god, still making fairly good rock, still not wearing stupid blonde hair extensions and he’s still making money.? Which Rose clearly isn’t.

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Nikki Grahame From Big Brother To Ruin Live Music Forever

November 10th, 2010 By Matthew Laidlow

Big Brother has finished broadcasting in the UK and the only people panicking about its demise are the directors of Channel 4. What can they possibly commission to fill up E4 apart from looped footage of people snoring and repeats of Friends?

After every series, the same thing happens. Some of the girls get their waps out for a lad’s mag, a couple who met in the house pose for awkward photos and the rest of them end up touring clubs so drunk punters can leer at them.

Occasionally, a contestant sticks in the memory, usually for being gaspingly annoying and Nikki Grahame is one of those very people. Famed for throwing temper tantrums due to her own stupidity she has clung on to her Z-list status and is venturing in to new territories, with a stab at singing live. Yes, we're scared too.

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Guns N Roses Booed and Bottled Off Stage In Ireland

September 3rd, 2010 By Mof Gimmers

Axl Rose is a bloated prick isn’t he? Seriously. He’s an astonishingly shit human. He preens about this Earth like his balls are clad in gold, when really, he’s just a chubby shrieker with a chemically peeled pink head. These days, he’s less the frontman for a rock group and more like a pi?ata filled with faeces.

And hilariously, the Irish didn’t mind letting him know. Of course, he’s well known for making the people he’s supposed to love (the fans) wait and wait without regard for them in the slightest, by entering the live arena as late as he possibly can.

As such, the Irish took the pi?ata feeling and tried to knock his insides out with bottles.

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Guns N’ Roses Will Probably Go Onstage Late At Reading This Year

August 24th, 2010 By Mof Gimmers

Knock knock. Who’s there? Axl Rose is a massive prick. Okay, it’s obvious that this joke needs work, but the punchline is pretty truthful as rock ‘n’ roll’s most warped ego flops around Europe like the Emperor in his new clothes.

Yes indeed, the world’s most average hard rock band – well, Axl Rose and a bunch of people who are willing to be bossed around by him under the GNR banner – are to play their hugely underwhelming Chinese Democracy LP to European brains, who no doubt, will be egging the band on to play Sweet Child O’Mine and piss-off into the night.

Fat chance.

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Guns N’ Roses to Tour UK

August 3rd, 2010 By Mof Gimmers

Axl Rose, as many have pointed out before us, is an anagram of Ego Driven Prick. Or something. So yeah! Whoop! Hard rocks most irritating band are coming to the UK to hand out lawsuits and get, like, rreeaallly drunk and turn up 9 hours late for a show!? WAHOO!

Boy howdy! Guns N’ Roses could well be causing yet another riot in your hometown with the announced UK tour of their Chinese Democracy LP.

These shows are the band’s first arena concerts in the UK in four years.

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