A guest blog by Josh from Interestment…

Wow, what a crazy time everyone had at London Fancy Dress Week.

The Geldof sisters were there with Ray Winstone’s oiky little girl. She was with Keith Allen’s offspring, who was probably staring from the corner of his eye at Daisy Lowe’s bosoms, which have been having quite an airing lately, if i-D magazine has anything to do with it.

Of course, Alexa Chung – the only non-celebrity child – was the glue keeping everyone together, with her pipe-cleaner legs and voice like a loudspeaker. What a trendy bunch. And, yet, so difficult to like. It could, of course, sound like a case of sour grapes, but it’s not at all. As this small list of extremely excellent celebrity offspring who we absolutely adore proves…

1. Jeff Bridges, son of Lloyd

Faced with the choice of hoiking himself around A-list hangouts, demanding drinks for free, and blogging about his every waking emotion, or actually doing something, and Jeff chose the latter. It was an intelligent choice. He became a better actor than his dad, and can count Tron, Jagged Edge and the most student-friendly film of all time The Big Lebowski as his legacy. He edges arch magazine editor Peaches Geldof out of the running.

2. Whitney Houston, daughter of Cissy

Yes, she has turned into a strange drug-addled maniac, but before that, this girl was a shining example to all of us. Her mother had sung backing vocals for legends like Elvis Presley and Aretha Franklin, but her biggest hit came in 1963, when she squeezed Whitney Houston out of her vagina. The child went on to become even better at singing than God himself, and was mind-bogglingly excellent, until she married Bobby Brown and started playing invisible pianos and telling everyone to get stuffed. Or something like that. She keeps singer/songwriter/chat show thing/flasher Lily Allen on the subs bench.

3. Liv Tyler, daughter of Steven

As the result of sexual intercourse between a Playboy Playmate and a genuine rock star, Liv Tyler is like a better version of Daisy Lowe. She has notched up an impressive film career, when, really, she could probably have just taken her clothes off and stared brainlessly down a camera lens, whilst a sniffing photographer explained in monotonous detail how doing things in black and white makes things look classier. Good for her.

4. Michael Douglas, son of Kirk

For some reason, Michael Douglas doesn’t seem to be as popular as he should be. This might be because some people still see him as the spoilt little brat produced of Kirk Douglas’s mighty thespian loins. Yet, he’s brilliant. Anyone who has seen Wall Street, Romancing The Stone or the one about drugs where he’s the president, already knows that this man has perhaps even surpassed his famous father. Bonus points also for removing Catherine Zeta Jones from the dating circuit. He bulldozes Jaime Winstone out of the running.

This was a guest blog by the masterful Josh Burt from the equally masterful Interestment.co.uk. Go there for a good time.

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Remember Spacehog? Of course you don’t – they were rubbish and we only know their name because we just looked it up.

However, apart from their genuinely awful name, Spacehog looked to go down in history for one thing – the fact that frontman Royston Langdon was the jammiest generic northern indie singer in the world because he’d somehow convinced Liv Tyler to marry him.

But, men of the world, you no longer have to be rampantly jealous of Royston Langdon, because Liv Tyler’s just decided to divorce him. That is unless you enjoyed being rampantly jealous of Royston Langdon, of course, in which case you have plenty of other things to envy him for, like… um… look, we’re going to have to get back to you on this.

Make no mistake, this summer is officially the summer of American actresses who haven’t really made a lot of films lately and happen to be married to British singers suddenly returning to the limelight in big comic book blockbusters. That’s its full title. Only call it by its full title.

It’s true, though, first Coldplay wife Gwyneth Paltrow has returned from three years of sucking the nutrients out of the same piece of brown rice to star in the all-conquering Iron Man, and now Spacehog wife Liv Tyler has returned from five years of making not very good films to star in the less-conquering and potentially quite rubbish The Incredible Hulk.

The symmetry is perfect – or rather the symmetry would be perfect if only Liv Tyler hadn’t buggered it all up by divorcing her husband.

Perhaps one of the reasons why Liv Tyler is so desirable is because she’s plainly a miraculous quirk of genetics. Half her DNA comes from Aerosmith singer Steven Tyler, yet somehow Liv Tyler has beaten the odds and avoided looking like a dehydrated million-year-old merman made from stitched-together bits of old scrotum. And for that reason alone, Liv Tyler was always going to be a hit with the boys.

Despite this, though, in 2003 Liv Tyler bizarrely ended up getting married to Royston Langdon, lead singer of comically anonymous and instantly forgotten Leeds Britpop bandwagon-hoppers Spacehog. Never mind, though, because Liv’s just corrected this oversight, as E! Online reports:

“Liv Tyler and Royston Langdon have confirmed their separation,” a rep for the actress said. “They remain good friends and devoted parents to their son Milo and are requesting that their family’s privacy be respected at this time.” Rumors of marital discord between the 36-year-old Langdon, the former frontman of Spacehog, and Tyler, the 30-year-old progeny of rocker Steven Tyler, have been swirling for weeks, after the actress was spotted around New York City sans wedding ring.

It’s always sad when celebrity couples split up, isn’t it? Luckily Royston Langdon never actually qualified as a celebrity – other than that one week in the mid-nineties when a Spacehog song got used on Match Of The Day – so we’re allowed to giggle and snort as much as we like. Looks like it’s back down t’pits for you, Royston.

Read more:

Liv Tyler’s Rock Marriage Rolls Away – E! Online