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Listen To Amy Winehouse’s Final Recording

by Mof Gimmers

Today would have been Amy Winehouse’s 28th birthday, but as you know, she passed away and joined that grotty bedsit in the sky known as the 27 Club. Before she parted, she recorded a duet with Tony Bennett (ten times the singer Frank Sinatra could ever be, thanks to being able to sing 20 notes, [...]

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Imma Let You Finish Beyonce, Once You Agree To Kanye Being Godfather To Your Unborn Baby

by Mof Gimmers

Beyonce is pregnant. That’s great isn’t it? Unless you’d hoped that B and Jay Z were going to adopt you in some way. She’s 3 months gone! Wow. Wait. That means she was having sex when when Osama bin Laden got killed or Ratko Mladi? got arrested for genocide and war crimes. It seems justice, [...]

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Jay Z Makes You Feel Like A Skinflint With $50k Tip

by Mof Gimmers

Do you leave tips in restaurants? If there’s a few of you, you all chuck a quid in each because that seems about right? Well, you’re nothing but a sickening tightwad because, when Jay Z leaves a tip, he really leaves a tip. We’re not talking about a tip like “condoms make excellent fingerprint disguisers [...]

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Decoded: Jay Z And Kanye West’s Watch The Throne ‘Otis’ Promo

by Mof Gimmers

Kanye West and Jay Z have got together to make supreme ego project, Watch The Throne. The first single taken from it is called ‘Otis’. Is that something to do with the people who make shopping centre escalators? Of course it isn’t. That’s a stupid notion. But well done if you’ve ever noticed that mall [...]

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Kanye West Falls Flat On His Ass Due To Weight Being The Only Victim In The World [Video]

by Mof Gimmers

We feel sorry for Kanye West. He’s the only celebrity on Earth who gets any criticism of any sort. The rest of them are treated like Gods among men, while he is vilified and pilloried every time he opens his mouth. Essentially, everyone is picking on him and he doesn’t like it. And he’s not [...]

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Celebrities Don’t Like Riots, But Love Ordering Plebs To Tidy Up

by Mof Gimmers

The riots in London have seen unprecedented horseshit. People are randomly saying place names and everyone is getting really jumpy, wishing they’d built nuclear bunkers filled with sausages and beans in a tin, where they’ll hide until armageddon comes. Today has seen Londoners going out in force with brooms and bin bags, attempting to tidy [...]

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Top 10 Songs About Riots

by Mof Gimmers

We had to mention those riots that are currently going on in That London. As the hecklerspray hovel isn’t anywhere near the place, we can laugh and mercilessly hoot at how awful things have got down there. And while we plan a trip down next week for some cheap iPads and PS3 games, we’ve also [...]

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Beyonce Features On Jay Z And Kanye West’s Bloated ‘Watch The Throne’ Track [Video]

by Mof Gimmers

On the back of Kanye West referring to himself as ‘Hitler’ over the weekend at a festival appearance, he’s stopped wanting to invade Poland for long enough to make a buncha tracks with Jay Z in a project called ‘Watch The Throne’. Of course, Jay Z is an outrageous talent when on form, but alongside [...]

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Is Brian McFadden Going To Rejoin Westlife! Of Course He Is Because They’re Out Of Ideas!

by Mof Gimmers

Remember the halcyon days when Westlife were a five-piece. They all looked so perfect in photographs with their highlighted curtains and work-sweaters from River Island. They really were the most refreshing thing to get off a stool in pop since GG Allin. Then, the band went all off-balance when, unfathomably, Brian McFadden decided to go [...]

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Hecklerplay: Young Liar

by Matthew Laidlow

For some stupid reason, people tend to think that Cheryl Cole is the greatest export to come from the North-East of England. Are these folks mental? Haven’t they heard of stottie bread, brown ale and Chris Waddle? Due to the ongoing soap opera that’s X-Factor, we’ve kind of fallen out of love with Cheryl Cole [...]

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