Articles tagged with: list
Suri Cruise The Most Powerful Baby, Says Genuinely Creepy List
Have you ever stayed awake at night wondering who the most influential celebrity baby is? You have? You're on some sort of government register, aren't you. However, on the off-chance that your interest in the preschool children of Hollywood celebrities is down to something other that surging waves of barely-controlled paedophilia, you should take a look at the just-published Forbes annual '10 Hottest Tots' lists. Just, you know, be sure to hide the magazine inside a less incriminating magazine first, like Big Droopy Knockers or Readers Disgusting BDSM Infantilism Fantasies. And, for anyone who actually cares, Suri Cruise was named the most influential baby this year. Of course, it seems silly to rank toddlers based on their power and influence but, since Suri Cruise is the only celebrity baby able to summon the mighty Xenu to smite her foes inside his all-powerful fist, she was probably always going to make at least the top three.
Have you ever stayed awake at night wondering who the most influential celebrity baby is? You have? You're on some sort of government register, aren't you. However, on the off-chance that your interest in the preschool children of Hollywood celebrities is down to something other that surging waves of barely-controlled paedophilia, you should take a look at the just-published Forbes annual '10 Hottest Tots' lists. Just, you know, be sure to hide the magazine inside a less incriminating magazine first, like Big Droopy Knockers or Readers Disgusting BDSM Infantilism Fantasies. And, for anyone who actually cares, Suri Cruise was named the most influential baby this year. Of course, it seems silly to rank toddlers based on their power and influence but, since Suri Cruise is the only celebrity baby able to summon the mighty Xenu to smite her foes inside his all-powerful fist, she was probably always going to make at least the top three.
Mr Blackwell Dies, Nauses Up Everyone’s January
There's only one reason why we even slightly enjoy coming back to work after our Christmas break, and that's Mr Blackwell. For the last 35 years, the highlight of January has been Mr Blackwell's worst-dressed list - a bewilderingly written, mostly-alliterative rhyme-heavy blizzard of celebrity nastiness that couldn't have sounded any more camp if it was read aloud by a talking buttplug in a feather boa at a Cher concert. But Mr Blackwell won't be writing a worst-dressed list for 2009, because Mr Blackwell has died of complications from an intestinal infection. It's a sad day for sure but, who knows, maybe one day scientists will find some of Mr Blackwell's blood inside a mosquito that's been trapped in amber and splice his DNA with frogs to create a theme park where all the exhibits run around telling you that your blouse looks crap.
There's only one reason why we even slightly enjoy coming back to work after our Christmas break, and that's Mr Blackwell. For the last 35 years, the highlight of January has been Mr Blackwell's worst-dressed list - a bewilderingly written, mostly-alliterative rhyme-heavy blizzard of celebrity nastiness that couldn't have sounded any more camp if it was read aloud by a talking buttplug in a feather boa at a Cher concert. But Mr Blackwell won't be writing a worst-dressed list for 2009, because Mr Blackwell has died of complications from an intestinal infection. It's a sad day for sure but, who knows, maybe one day scientists will find some of Mr Blackwell's blood inside a mosquito that's been trapped in amber and splice his DNA with frogs to create a theme park where all the exhibits run around telling you that your blouse looks crap.
Barack Obama’s Wife Wears Nice Clothes Sometimes: Official
There's nothing we like more than a best-dressed list - apart from, ooh, everything else is the world that isn't a best-dressed list. So imagine our delight when we discovered that Vanity Fair has just published its international best-dressed list for 2008. A big list of people who are primarily best-known for being able to buy, choose and wear clothes without ending up looking like big a pile of sweaty bumrags? Who wouldn't love that! Especially when the Vanity Fair best-dressed list contains such notable names from the world of entertainment as three-time Academy Award-winner Barack Obama's wife, multi-platinum recording artist Prince William's girlfriend and regional puppy-juggling contest semi-finalist Nicolas Sarkozy's missus. Boy, do they know how to wear clothes adequately.
There's nothing we like more than a best-dressed list - apart from, ooh, everything else is the world that isn't a best-dressed list. So imagine our delight when we discovered that Vanity Fair has just published its international best-dressed list for 2008. A big list of people who are primarily best-known for being able to buy, choose and wear clothes without ending up looking like big a pile of sweaty bumrags? Who wouldn't love that! Especially when the Vanity Fair best-dressed list contains such notable names from the world of entertainment as three-time Academy Award-winner Barack Obama's wife, multi-platinum recording artist Prince William's girlfriend and regional puppy-juggling contest semi-finalist Nicolas Sarkozy's missus. Boy, do they know how to wear clothes adequately.
Vatican To Make Comprehensive List Of Films They Allow On Location
The Catholic Church says there's not a chance in the deepest depths of heck that the Da Vinci Code or anything even remotely related to the Da Vinci Code will ever be filmed in it again. And just so Hollywood can stop embarrassing itself by getting constant refusals from them, they're inventing a list of guidelines as to what types of films would be considered good film-on-site Vatican-worthy cinema. It begs to question exactly what films ol' V-town would find acceptable to film in their churches. Clearly Angels and Demons is out, but would they have allowed Darth Vader to cut off Luke's hand in the chapel? Would Big Trouble have been permitted in their Little China? Would our mother and step-dad be able to make love in any of the 16 feature length films we're currently making about how they first met, for each of which the manuscript is over 1000 pages long? These are the questions that spring readily to mind.
The Catholic Church says there's not a chance in the deepest depths of heck that the Da Vinci Code or anything even remotely related to the Da Vinci Code will ever be filmed in it again. And just so Hollywood can stop embarrassing itself by getting constant refusals from them, they're inventing a list of guidelines as to what types of films would be considered good film-on-site Vatican-worthy cinema. It begs to question exactly what films ol' V-town would find acceptable to film in their churches. Clearly Angels and Demons is out, but would they have allowed Darth Vader to cut off Luke's hand in the chapel? Would Big Trouble have been permitted in their Little China? Would our mother and step-dad be able to make love in any of the 16 feature length films we're currently making about how they first met, for each of which the manuscript is over 1000 pages long? These are the questions that spring readily to mind.
Top 8 Werewolf Movies
Finally, a list we can really get our teeth into – the best-ever films about werewolves. You only need look at the excitement caused by Benicio Del Toro's new film The Wolfman to realise how much we love stories about lycanthropes. But why are we so fascinated by movies about people who change into man-eating wolves every full moon? It can't be because we think we could all do with more hair, sharper teeth and a dog-like snout. Although, it's a look that hasn't done Sarah Jessica Parker's career any harm at all. It's probably something to do with unleashing the beast – something the hecklerspray crew tries to do every Friday night without fail. Of course, Hollywood has tried to tap into this curiosity on many occasions. However, very few filmmakers get it right. Werewolves are slightly more demanding on special effects artists than zombies or vampires. While all you have to do with the other two is slap on some white make-up and you're halfway there, changing into a half-man, half-beast demands a little more work. And let's face it, most of them get it wrong. Even Jack Nicholson couldn't save Wolf. Anyway, here's the list. Enjoy!
Finally, a list we can really get our teeth into – the best-ever films about werewolves. You only need look at the excitement caused by Benicio Del Toro's new film The Wolfman to realise how much we love stories about lycanthropes. But why are we so fascinated by movies about people who change into man-eating wolves every full moon? It can't be because we think we could all do with more hair, sharper teeth and a dog-like snout. Although, it's a look that hasn't done Sarah Jessica Parker's career any harm at all. It's probably something to do with unleashing the beast – something the hecklerspray crew tries to do every Friday night without fail. Of course, Hollywood has tried to tap into this curiosity on many occasions. However, very few filmmakers get it right. Werewolves are slightly more demanding on special effects artists than zombies or vampires. While all you have to do with the other two is slap on some white make-up and you're halfway there, changing into a half-man, half-beast demands a little more work. And let's face it, most of them get it wrong. Even Jack Nicholson couldn't save Wolf. Anyway, here's the list. Enjoy!
10 Songs Crying Out To Be In Guitar Hero 4
By christ, Guitar Hero has taken over our lives in a bad way - to the extent that our left hand is now nothing more than a withered arthritic stump.
But something worries us - the next Guitar Hero expansion pack is going to be about Aerosmith alone. And, obviously, the trouble with that is that Aerosmith are a giant sack of donkey bums. By copping out this badly, Neversoft had better pull its finger out and make sure that Guitar Hero 4 is full of songs that don't make us want to lose the will to live. Songs like these.
You might not agree with some of these choices - and you definitely won't agree with all of them - so feel free to leave any other suggestions you have in the comment box. Meanwhile, here's our massively subjective list of songs that deserve to be included in Guitar Hero 4...
Hecklerspray: The 45th Most Powerful Blog In All The World
In the past, when we've hurled bowling balls at round-faced American preachers it's been just for fun - but when we do it now it'll be because we've been corrupted by power, There Will Be Blood-style.
Why? Because according to a list in today's Observer, hecklerspray is the 45th most powerful blog in the world. Yes,
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SPRAY COUNTDOWN – Worst Cinematic Hairdos
Yes, like it or lump it, no one can avoid an occasional bad hair day once in a while, but when it's an actor's and it's plastered on screen, it's quite frankly irreversible, unless of course someone comes up with a little CGI jiggery-pokery to cover up the split ends.
But who would want to destroy the retrospective fun we can have here? So without further a do, let us present to you hecklerspray's Top 10 Worst Cinematic Hairdos...
The Razzies should include another category in their dishonourable awards ceremony – The Worst Screen Hairdo! It would target those performers who played characters with a seriously laudable case of cinematic mane.
Yes, like it or lump it, no one can avoid an occasional bad hair day once in a while, but when it's an actor's and it's plastered on screen, it's quite frankly irreversible, unless of course someone comes up with a little CGI jiggery-pokery to cover up the split ends.
But who would want to destroy the retrospective fun we can have here? So without further a do, let us present to you hecklerspray's Top 10 Worst Cinematic Hairdos...
