list - HecklerSpray

Top 10 Monkees Songs (RIP Davy Jones)

August 4th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

With the sad passing of Davy Jones (okay, he was the least likeable of The Monkees, but he’s A Monkee fercryinoutloud!) it only seems fair to pay some kind of tribute to him and the band that made him a star.

No. His brief spot on a popular British soap doesn’t count.

And so, to avoid been overly sentimental fans, we’ve decided to simply let the music do the talking and push our worthless opinion in your face. Basically, here are the ten best tracks by The Monkees and as ever, you’re advised to tell us about your favourite songs either through the comments or through various social networking technology.

Top 10 Most Entirely Unreasonable Celebrity Couples

February 14th, 2012 By Sophie Hall

Ah love. We love it. But not as much as celebrity couples who love it more! Or at least maybe murmer to Max Clifford that those M&S microwave asparagus rissottos aren’t going to heat up in their houses with no electricity by themselves.

Love is all you need.

Everybody says it. John Lennon says it. Richard Curtis got a fridge magnet of it and then based an entire career around it. We’re not really sure what the hell’s going on to be honest. Suffice to say, it’s the hecklerspray Top 10 Most.. GOD KNOWS WHAT THEY WERE THINKING! Celebrity Couples list!

The Tumblr Trawler: Suicidal Kittens Fired Due To Filthy Texts From Someone Called “Bennett”

August 7th, 2012 By Michael Park

These are dark times for that there internet. As the vultures circle around the rotting carcass of the World Wide Web, we disembark our safe harbour to take a tour round the Cape of Good Tumblr. This is The Tumblr Trawler…

Naturally, we’re assuming that some of you have never even seen a Tumblr, let alone know all about the intricate system of interactions and the thought processes which go into making one. Therefore, we make no apologies if you’ve heard of one of these before or even bought their god damn book. Okay?

The Tumblr Trawler: Replace Ryan Goslings Face With Barack Obama & Gary Busey

August 7th, 2012 By Michael Park

Yes folks, it’s not a festive edition of The Tumblr Trawler and let us tell you why not; Christmas is rubbish. It’s especially rubbish when it comes to memes. Still, here’s this week’s trawl through the briney depths.

5. Replace Face: Want to see what Jason Statham, Danny Trejo & Donald Trump would look like as Russian Generals? Well, we would like to draw your attention to Replace Face.

4. OMG CATS IN SPACE: Is this really, really worth clicking on? We know you like cats and everything but do you really, really want to see a load of cats out in the blackness of space? OF COURSE YOU DO!

The Tumblr Trawler: Moustaches On Pepper Spraying Captcha Cops

August 7th, 2012 By Michael Park

Yes, that’s right folks. While we work on sprucing up Hecklerspray so that your children and your children’s children (seriously though, never have children) can enjoy it, here’s another trawl through the world of Tumblr.

5. Remember the casually pepper-spraying cop from Occupy? Well @badgerarc found a tumblr take on the man himself. Be warned. This is really funny.

4. That man @CheShA sent us this terrifying look into the chins of the rich and the famous. This is Moustair.

3. Our very own @KrisWould has CaptchArt which uses those weird phrases that Captchas throw up to create hilarious (and not so hilarious) pieces of art.

The hecklerspray Anti-Cool List

August 7th, 2012 By Lauren Mullineaux

The NME has this year decided that the coolest people in the music industry are a bunch of no-names and people we hate with every fibre of our disgruntled being; they will never make it and, if they've already ?made it?, then their last name is Gallagher and we have absolutely no opinion on that anymore.

Being the snide swine we are, it was suggested that we fight the powers that be and show the world of celebrity what's what and who's nobody, so here it is in all its underwhelming un-festive glory.

So, in a very well thought out (hastily typed out at midnight last night) attempt to tackle the elitism issues that NME have raised, we got our youngest, hippest (Hahahaha! – Ed) hecklerspray writers – Lauren Mullineaux and Sophie Hall – to create what we consider to be the healthier way to present a list of terrible human beings. We present to you: Hecklerspray Presents: The Anti-Cool List. Presented. To you. List.

The Tumblr Trawler: Accidental Hipsters & Renaissance Babies?!

August 7th, 2012 By Michael Park

Hecklerspray are always itching to exploit the latest internet fad for our own gain. As such, we’ve callously ditched Webthump in favour of a new feature which looks at the very best (and worst) Tumblr accounts. So join us below deck in the murky underbelly of the Tumblr Trawler.

5. Babies are ugly enough as it is without the Renaissance painters making them look so damned hideous. Number 5 on this week’s trawl is Ugly Renaissance Babies. Thanks to @ShivvyShiv for that disturbing look into the past.

4. Did the Chinese invent the “hipster” look? @thermoso has found some Accidental Chinese Hipsters. We respect them, bro!

Greatest Guitarists Of All Time Chosen From Usual List Of Greatest Guitarists Of All Time (We Show Those Overlooked)

November 24th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Guitarists are all idiots. Every single one of them. They’re the ones who think they’re the heart of a band, resentful that the singer gets all the sex, the bassist gets all the cool fans and envious of the drummer because… okay, they’re not jealous of drummers at all.

Of course, as writers are prone to making pointless lists, Rolling Stone magazine have decided that the world needs another Greatest Guitarists Ever list.

As ever, there isn’t one name in the top 10 that will surprise you because these lists are always gleaned from the same old axe-wielding losers. Naturally, we’ll be proffering people who are far more worthy.

Webthump! Tubthumping

August 7th, 2012 By Michael Park

Seen something good on the web? Tell Dep Ed Michael about it and make all your dreams come true by getting your name on Webthump!

10. Sepp Blatter knows there’s no problem with racism in football. To prove the point, @thermoso sent us this website full of images of him not being racist.

9. A mysterious, inscrutable man calling himself “Roscoe” showed us this beautifully made Japanese anime. Yes, that is Hercule Poirot & Miss Marple. The theme song’s worth sticking around for.

8. @whoismatthew found a Sinclair C5 cot. You could have bought it but you didn’t. Your life is now invalid.

Tom Cruise Is Scared Of Singing But Not Of 10,000ft Killer Robots Or Whatever They Have In The New Mission: Impossible

November 8th, 2011 By Michael Park

Professional headcase Tom Cruise has admitted to being terrified of the melodic word with his fear coming to a very public fore while filming his new waste of time “Rock Of Ages”.

Tom Cruise is well renowned throughout the world, both as an actor, a producer and as someone who doesn’t know when a franchise is dead (See: Mission: Impossible) but his ability to sing has never been called into question. Even in 1983 “classic” Risky Business, Tom used Bob Seger as a voice double during his trouserless performance of Old Time Rock n’ Roll.

Let’s be fair to Tom though, singing is a terrifying experience. One need only spend five minutes in the company of a Glee Survivor to know that not only are their vocal chords destroyed, their careers are all-but ruined by incessant autotune abuse. DARE to say no to singing.