Posts tagged as:

Lindsay Lohan

Lindsay Lohan Gets Out Of Rehab Early

by Mof Gimmers

Lindsay Lohan really does lead a charmed life when it comes to US law. Basically, no matter what she does, she gets let out early. She really should consider killing someone as she’ll only serve around 40 minutes in a prison and quite possibly a 1 second stay on the electric chair, meaning that her [...]

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Lindsay Lohan To Shank $1,000,000 For First Post Jail Interview

by Shawn Lindseth

We’re pretty sure that the intended worth of a US dollar bill directly dictates the size of paper it’s printed on. A $1 bill is regular size, a $5 is a little bigger and a $100 is twenty times the size of the five. We read this somewhere, we really did. That said, Lindsay Lohan [...]

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Exclusive! George Clooney’s Girlfriend Has *Massive* Fingers

by Ralph Sanders

Imagine being George Clooney. Wouldn’t it be great?  You get to have international fame as being the nippleiest Batman ever. You can devote your life to pigs and no one thinks you’re a weirdo. Your name sounds like a slang word for a ladies area. And, best of all, everyone knows you as an international [...]

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Lindsay Lohan’s Judge Runs For The Bloody Hills

by Stuart Heritage

Judge Marsha Revel, the woman presiding over the Lindsay Lohan kerfuffle, has removed herself from the case.

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Lindsay Lohan Won’t Be Replaced in Really Grim Inferno Role

by Amy Grindhouse

Studio bosses probably looked for – but did not find – a better suited addict to play the role of 1970′s adult movie star Linda Lovelace. So they’re stuck with Lindsay Lohan. Lindsay is being promoted in the role of Linda; a woman who, according to the Inferno script, was put on this earth only [...]

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Lindsay Lohan To Publish The World’s Shortest, Most Pointless Book

by Ralph Sanders

Despite being in jail for less time than it takes the average person to squeeze out a poo after a heavy night on the Guinness, Lindsay Lohan has apparently written enough guff in her ‘prison journal’ to turn it into a full-sized book. That, or have someone else ghost-write her scrawlings into a full-sized book, [...]

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Lindsay Lohan Leaves Jail A Changed – Or Unchanged – Woman

by Stuart Heritage

Whew! We don’t know about you, but that was one hell of a 90-day period right there. It went so quickly!

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Lindsay Lohan Surrounded By Hundreds Of New Friends In Jail

by Stuart Heritage

You know what we haven’t had much of lately? Good news about Lindsay Lohan. It’s about time that changed.

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Lindsay Lohan wants to break your ears

by Ralph Sanders

Incarceration can be a good impulse for the artist. Wilde famously wrote De Profundis, Tupac had a number one album with Me Against The World, even Hitler managed to stop killing Jews long enough to write Mein Kampf.

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Lohan: Put them away love

by Ralph Sanders

We can all learn from the great poets. For instance, it was Andrew Marvell who wrote,

“Had we but world enough, and time,
This coyness, Lady, were no crime”

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