Posts tagged as:

Lindsay Lohan

Yes! Just When You Thought Lindsay Lohan Was Getting Boring, She Turns Into A Jewel Thief!

by Mof Gimmers

We were very worried when Lindsay Lohan went to rehab, mainly because she was looking dangerously like she was about to become a wholesome bore… and Hollywood has enough of those idiots. However, LiLo isn’t going to let us down! It’s reported and alleged and all that, that our LoLiLoHaHo could be in trouble with [...]

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Lindsay Lohan Is No Longer Addicted To Anything Fun; Is No Longer Fun.

by Amy Grindhouse

Lindsay Lohan is no longer an addict of anything. We’d speculated that she’d become addicted to ‘buttons of the chocolate’. Alas, no dice. She’s no longer an addict of anything remotely fun. Nor of anything illegal. Says her father, who’d never lie about that. Never! Michael Lohan has been speaking to media outlets, who aren’t [...]

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Snooki Hates It When We Call Her Snooki, Don’t You Snooki?

by Mof Gimmers

Hybrid of Har Mar Superstar and the thing that comes out of the screen in the Ring film, Nicole Polizzi of Jersey Shore, has reached the point of being utterly sick and tired of… well… herself. Now, this isn’t going to end up in some kind of suicide bid, where she finds herself on a [...]

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Was Lindsay Lohan Dyeing Her Hair Or Beating The Living Daylights Out Of A Betty Ford Worker?

by Mof Gimmers

Every single day, each one of us faces the same question – were we dyeing our hair a different colour or beating ten shades of faeces out of someone? And that’s exactly what is being asked of Lindsay Lohan at the moment. And only one man can answer! Apparently! And that! See, around the time [...]

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Lindsay Lohan Moves Next Door to Ex-Girlfriend, Samantha Ronson

by Amy Grindhouse

Lindsay Lohan has overcome her addiction to chocolate buttons. She has been in a proper rehabilitation facility, where no chocolate whatsoever is available. She has been abstaining from the hard stuff and, we have it on good authority, she has not touched so much as chocolate milk. She’s cured! And by ‘cured’, we mean she’s [...]

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Lindsay Lohan Assaulted Someone… Wait, She Got Assaulted… No… Hang On…

by Mof Gimmers

There’s a feeling in Hollywood that you shouldn’t listen to what people write about you, rather, measure it in inches. Well Lindsay Lohan must be thrilled because she’s got roughly 289 miles of articles written about her in 2010. She’ll need one big-ass scrapbook for clippings for Christmas. Of course, the main crux of LiLo’s [...]

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Lindsay Lohan May Have A Stalker – A Stalker Called Hecklerspray?

by Mof Gimmers

We’ve been rumbled. At least, that’s what it sounds like. See, Lindsay Lohan has become afraid, threatened and targeted. All things you could blame useless, leeching shits like us for. However, she’s under the impression its a stalker that is causing her bother, which means we can get on with our business. So while a [...]

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Lindsay Lohan Dropped From Linda Lovelace Biopic, Inferno, In Favour Of Malin Ackerman

by Mof Gimmers

You may well dislike Lindsay Lohan for the way she’s chosen to live her life, but really, lets be honest here, she’s great because she’s so trashy. A bisexual drug hoover who gets into all kinds of scrapes. What’s not to like? Sadly, she’s been caught be the law and violated probation, which means she’ll [...]

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Dina Lohan Finally Admits Lindsay Is A Chocolate Buttons Addict… Oh, Wait.

by Amy Grindhouse

Dina Lohan has finally admitted that her daughter, Lindsay Lohan, is an addict. We were excited to learn this, as we’re on pretty hard stuff too. Our weight in chocolate buttons, every time we get the hecklerspray house groceries in. Giving up is hard to do. Lindsay’s an addict too. She’s not addicted to anything [...]

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Lindsay Lohan Meets Up With Her Dad At Betty Ford Clinic Which Is Boring

by Mof Gimmers

Lindsay Lohan was once an actress. Then she was a lesbian. Then she was a drug-addled crackpot. Now, she’s in rehab and looking at herself in the mirror thinking “Jeez. All I wanted was a good time! It’s not like I killed anyone!” And now, her father – who has been rentagob for a quote [...]

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