Articles tagged with: Lindsay Lohan
Lindsay Lohan In Stunning ‘Makes Bad Film’ Shock
You hear that wheeze? That deathly, haunting wheeze? That's the dying gasp of Lindsay Lohan's movie career. Or maybe it's just how Lindsay Lohan breathes. We honestly can't say for sure. But anyway, Lindsay Lohan's film career does seem to be in a bit of a pickle at the moment - her great big movie comeback Labor Pains isn't going to be released theatrically in America. That's bad news for Lindsay Lohan, but worse news for us - Labor Pains is still getting an international theatrical release. Basically what we're saying is give us sanctuary in America. We'll clean pools. Anything. Please.
You hear that wheeze? That deathly, haunting wheeze? That's the dying gasp of Lindsay Lohan's movie career. Or maybe it's just how Lindsay Lohan breathes. We honestly can't say for sure. But anyway, Lindsay Lohan's film career does seem to be in a bit of a pickle at the moment - her great big movie comeback Labor Pains isn't going to be released theatrically in America. That's bad news for Lindsay Lohan, but worse news for us - Labor Pains is still getting an international theatrical release. Basically what we're saying is give us sanctuary in America. We'll clean pools. Anything. Please.
WEBTHUMP! Thursday 26 March 2009
10 - Seven superpowers ruined by science - Cracked 9 - Watch this video. Pause it at the 15 second mark. Try and predict what happens next. You will fail - I Am Bored 8 - Here’s a list of all the reasons why Eminem’s comeback witll fail - Independent 7 - Because it’s been vaguely sunny for about 30 seconds, here’s a recipe for a kickass ...
Kim Kardashian Helps Lindsay Lohan For No Reason Whatsoever
There's more to Kim Kardashian than being filmed repeatedly having it off a chap on the internet, you know. Not a lot more, admittedly. But let's not split hairs here - our point is that Kim Kardashian is happy to rush to the defence of any celebrity who acts in a gormless way and gets lambasted in the media for it. Kim Kardashian's dad was OJ Simpson's lawyer, did we mention that? Anyway, now Kim Kardashian has decided to defend Lindsay Lohan for her erratic behaviour. Which is good, because in these harsh economic times, people need a job for life.
There's more to Kim Kardashian than being filmed repeatedly having it off a chap on the internet, you know. Not a lot more, admittedly. But let's not split hairs here - our point is that Kim Kardashian is happy to rush to the defence of any celebrity who acts in a gormless way and gets lambasted in the media for it. Kim Kardashian's dad was OJ Simpson's lawyer, did we mention that? Anyway, now Kim Kardashian has decided to defend Lindsay Lohan for her erratic behaviour. Which is good, because in these harsh economic times, people need a job for life.
Lindsay Lohan No Longer On The Lam, Still A Bit Lesbiany
Sorry to tell you this, but the greatest episode of Dog The Bounty Hunter never made will now stay that way. Lindsay Lohan is no longer on the run. Sure, for Lindsay Lohan it means her arrest warrant has been quashed and she can get on with her life, but for us it means we'll have to stop stalking Lindsay Lohan in bushes with a blowdart and a net, waiting for her to give us a clear shot at her carotid artery. And we needed that reward money, too. Damn you, Lindsay Lohan. Damn you and your consistent law-abiding tendencies!
Sorry to tell you this, but the greatest episode of Dog The Bounty Hunter never made will now stay that way. Lindsay Lohan is no longer on the run. Sure, for Lindsay Lohan it means her arrest warrant has been quashed and she can get on with her life, but for us it means we'll have to stop stalking Lindsay Lohan in bushes with a blowdart and a net, waiting for her to give us a clear shot at her carotid artery. And we needed that reward money, too. Damn you, Lindsay Lohan. Damn you and your consistent law-abiding tendencies!
Lindsay Lohan: A Lesbian On The Lam
Exciting news - Lindsay Lohan has become a fugitive. A fugitive just like in that film, Nuns On The Run. What terrible crime did Lindsay Lohan commit? Maybe the most terrible crime in the world - there's a warrant out for Lindsay's arrest because she marginally changed her alcohol rehabilitation program against the regulations of her probation. Yeah, take that Josef Fritzl - there's a new girl in town and she means business! Worse still, Lindsay Lohan could spend a year in jail because of this. So it's fortunate that she had the good sense to turn lesbian by choice last year, really.
Exciting news - Lindsay Lohan has become a fugitive. A fugitive just like in that film, Nuns On The Run. What terrible crime did Lindsay Lohan commit? Maybe the most terrible crime in the world - there's a warrant out for Lindsay's arrest because she marginally changed her alcohol rehabilitation program against the regulations of her probation. Yeah, take that Josef Fritzl - there's a new girl in town and she means business! Worse still, Lindsay Lohan could spend a year in jail because of this. So it's fortunate that she had the good sense to turn lesbian by choice last year, really.
Lindsay Lohan Is Apparently Going Jewish For Love
As Moses gingerly led his people through thousands of deserts over the course of 40 or so years, it was with an incredibly important purpose. And that purpose wasn't so much to rescue Jehovah's favourite people from a life of impoverished slavery as it was to have an ancient religion for Lindsay Lohan to one day convert to in an effort to prove her undying gay affection to a rather ugly lesbian. That being the case - it looks like Moses' many efforts are about to pay off - Lohan is reportedly taking the Jewish plunge.
As Moses gingerly led his people through thousands of deserts over the course of 40 or so years, it was with an incredibly important purpose. And that purpose wasn't so much to rescue Jehovah's favourite people from a life of impoverished slavery as it was to have an ancient religion for Lindsay Lohan to one day convert to in an effort to prove her undying gay affection to a rather ugly lesbian. That being the case - it looks like Moses' many efforts are about to pay off - Lohan is reportedly taking the Jewish plunge.
Lindsay Lohan Bangs On About How Skinny She Is Again
Your Lindsay Lohan typically comes in two sizes - there's your regular Lindsay Lohan and your alarmingly thin Lindsay Lohan. Which would you prefer? We should probably warn you in advance that the regular Lindsay Lohan model tends to get her boobs and growler out a lot more than skinny Lohan. You'll take skinny Lohan? Wise choice, sir. It's just as well, because Lindsay Lohan is going through one of her thin stages. But don't worry, because Lindsay Lohan says it's nothing to panic about - it's down to her "working a lot". Conclusive proof there that epic self-delusion burns calories fast.
Your Lindsay Lohan typically comes in two sizes - there's your regular Lindsay Lohan and your alarmingly thin Lindsay Lohan. Which would you prefer? We should probably warn you in advance that the regular Lindsay Lohan model tends to get her boobs and growler out a lot more than skinny Lohan. You'll take skinny Lohan? Wise choice, sir. It's just as well, because Lindsay Lohan is going through one of her thin stages. But don't worry, because Lindsay Lohan says it's nothing to panic about - it's down to her "working a lot". Conclusive proof there that epic self-delusion burns calories fast.
Lindsay Lohan & Sam Ronson Have A Fight: Oh, Look Surprised
Speculation over Lindsay Lohan and Sam Ronson's relationship has been running wild over recent months. But let's give credit where it's due. It doesn't matter how bad things seem to be between them, Lindsay Lohan and Sam Ronson are at least limiting their embarrassing public spats to major calendar events. Following their New Year's Eve blow-up, Lindsay and Sam have decided to have a Valentine's Day fight as well. Fans of hearing the same old nonsense should read on - everyone else should wait for Pancake Day, when Lindsay Lohan plans to set fire to Sam Ronson's feet.
Speculation over Lindsay Lohan and Sam Ronson's relationship has been running wild over recent months. But let's give credit where it's due. It doesn't matter how bad things seem to be between them, Lindsay Lohan and Sam Ronson are at least limiting their embarrassing public spats to major calendar events. Following their New Year's Eve blow-up, Lindsay and Sam have decided to have a Valentine's Day fight as well. Fans of hearing the same old nonsense should read on - everyone else should wait for Pancake Day, when Lindsay Lohan plans to set fire to Sam Ronson's feet.
