When it was revealed that Lindsay Lohan would be stripping for a Las Vegas revue, everyone reacted in the same way.

Then they wiped the vomit from their chest and thought about it rationally. Had it really come to this? Was Lindsay Lohan – star of no good films, singer of no good songs, kisser of no attractive lesbians – really so desperate for cash that she’d agree to strip for a baying mob of strangers?

Well, no. Lindsay Lohan’s rep says she isn’t. It’s a desperate shame – we were looking forward to our retinas snapping off and resigning in disgust, too.

Given that her personal life is in freefall and her latest movie is so awful that it’s probably only going to be released in the Ukraine or whatever, Linday Lohan needs all the support she can get. But where to get it from? Not her family, certainly – they’d only end up recounting her every word on a blog or a reality TV show. And not from that woman from The Sopranos, since Lindsay Lohan seems to make her irrationally angry.

And if you can’t turn to your family or that woman from The Sopranos, then who can you turn to? That’s right – hundreds of drunk businessmen on stag nights who can barely control themselves enough to not openly masturbate right in front of you. And that’s why it came as no surprise to hear yesterday that Lindsay Lohan wanted to become a stripper.

Except, no, Lindsay Lohan apparently doesn’t want to become a stripper. The only way that Lindsay Lohan will become a stripper is if you writer her a confusing film about a pair of murdered amnesiac twin strippers, because on the basis of I Know Who Killed Me she can’t get enough of the buggers. Access Hollywood reports:

“She isn’t interested at this time but it seems people are out there saying she is doing this,” [said] Lindsay’s rep. “It’s true that Lindsay visited the show at the weekend and that Jerry would love to have her but that is as far as it has gone,” Lindsay’s rep told Radar Online. “She has not inked any deals and no detailed discussions took place with Jerry — anything else would be purely speculation at this point.”

Ah, OK, so it’s not that Lindsay Lohan doesn’t want to be a stripper – more that she does want to be a stripper but only if she gets paid a cackload of money for it first. And that’s fair enough – let’s not forget that people will be prepared to pay top dollar to see what Lindsay Lohan looks like naked. And by ‘top dollar’ we mean ‘whatever they’re currently paying for their internet connection’ because the sight of Lindsay Lohan naked is so common online that you have to actively go out of your way to avoid it most of the time.

But in all honesty we’re thrilled that Lindsay Lohan hasn’t completely ruled out starring in this Las Vegas stripshow. It’s probably in her best interests that she goes through with it, actually. After all, it’s so undignified to go straight from Hollywood actress to prostitute without a stepping stone, don’t you think?

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