Admit it, you were sad when Lindsay Lohan and Sam Ronson split up. We were, but only because we knew the consequences.

And what consequences they are. Now that she’s split with Sam Ronson, it means that we’ll have to put up with Lindsay Lohan bleating on relentlessly about how sad she is until the end of time. That’s not an exaggeration – we’ll all have to listen to Lindsay Lohan’s self-pity until the literal end of actual time.

Because Lindsay Lohan hasn’t just split up with Sam Ronson – a woman from The Sopranos was also slightly rude to her. Sad.

You’ve done a lot of stupid things in the past, Lindsay Lohan – *coughHerbiecough* – but this takes the cake.

Lindsay Lohan has split with Sam Ronson. And it’s meant that Sam Ronson had to change the locks to her apartment, and that Lindsay Lohan has spent most of her time thumping out all kinds of illegible fury on her Twitter page. But why so stupid?

Because it’s Easter, and Lindsay Lohan and Sam Ronson are supposed to mark all major holidays with a public brawl. We were looking forward to that brawl, Lindsay Lohan. You won’t be forgiven in a hurry.