10 – Get ready to experience ‘the opposite of arousal’ – Mychemicaltoilet

9 – And now, in TV Reviews That Are Much Better Than The TV Show They’re Reviewing, here’s Ladette To Lady – Watchwithmothers

8 – Beardyman: Annoying or genius? Discuss – YouTube

7 – Similarly, do using these novelty binbags make you a hilarious prankster or the world’s biggest bellend? – Domesticsluttery

6 - If you’re an Xbox Live gold member, you can play Jason from Friday 13th at Call Of Duty on Friday. Apparently – Xbox

5 - Who are the best Transformers of all time? Let’s find out, shall we? – Interestment

4 - If hecklerspray was a local television news reporter, we’d like to think it’d be this one – Bestweekever

3 - In this genuinely horrific advertorial for a toilet paper holder, three things are worse than anything else. Can you guess what they are? – Geekologie

2 – Lindsay Lohan, now willingly naked. Bletch – AmyGrindhouse

1 - This is hands down the best Coldplay video we’ve ever seen…

When it was revealed that Lindsay Lohan would be stripping for a Las Vegas revue, everyone reacted in the same way.

Then they wiped the vomit from their chest and thought about it rationally. Had it really come to this? Was Lindsay Lohan – star of no good films, singer of no good songs, kisser of no attractive lesbians – really so desperate for cash that she’d agree to strip for a baying mob of strangers?

Well, no. Lindsay Lohan’s rep says she isn’t. It’s a desperate shame – we were looking forward to our retinas snapping off and resigning in disgust, too.

Given that her personal life is in freefall and her latest movie is so awful that it’s probably only going to be released in the Ukraine or whatever, Linday Lohan needs all the support she can get. But where to get it from? Not her family, certainly – they’d only end up recounting her every word on a blog or a reality TV show. And not from that woman from The Sopranos, since Lindsay Lohan seems to make her irrationally angry.

And if you can’t turn to your family or that woman from The Sopranos, then who can you turn to? That’s right – hundreds of drunk businessmen on stag nights who can barely control themselves enough to not openly masturbate right in front of you. And that’s why it came as no surprise to hear yesterday that Lindsay Lohan wanted to become a stripper.

Except, no, Lindsay Lohan apparently doesn’t want to become a stripper. The only way that Lindsay Lohan will become a stripper is if you writer her a confusing film about a pair of murdered amnesiac twin strippers, because on the basis of I Know Who Killed Me she can’t get enough of the buggers. Access Hollywood reports:

“She isn’t interested at this time but it seems people are out there saying she is doing this,” [said] Lindsay’s rep. “It’s true that Lindsay visited the show at the weekend and that Jerry would love to have her but that is as far as it has gone,” Lindsay’s rep told Radar Online. “She has not inked any deals and no detailed discussions took place with Jerry — anything else would be purely speculation at this point.”

Ah, OK, so it’s not that Lindsay Lohan doesn’t want to be a stripper – more that she does want to be a stripper but only if she gets paid a cackload of money for it first. And that’s fair enough – let’s not forget that people will be prepared to pay top dollar to see what Lindsay Lohan looks like naked. And by ‘top dollar’ we mean ‘whatever they’re currently paying for their internet connection’ because the sight of Lindsay Lohan naked is so common online that you have to actively go out of your way to avoid it most of the time.

But in all honesty we’re thrilled that Lindsay Lohan hasn’t completely ruled out starring in this Las Vegas stripshow. It’s probably in her best interests that she goes through with it, actually. After all, it’s so undignified to go straight from Hollywood actress to prostitute without a stepping stone, don’t you think?

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Now that she’s been dumped, it looks as if Lindsay Lohan will take her chronic attention-seeking out on us.

Great. Nice one Sam Ronson. You massive turd. Anyway, since her last two goes at attention-seeking have involved booze and public scuffles with a lesbian, it’s only natural that Lindsay Lohan should want her next go at it to involve nudity. And that’s why Lindsay Lohan is close to signing up for a Las Vegas stripshow.

We’re tempted to call this Lindsay’s last-ditch punt at fame, but we’ve seen seen Georgia Rule and you can’t be allowed two last-ditch punts, surely.

Whatever you might think of her, you can’t fault Lindsay Lohan’s thought processes. Right now Lindsay Lohan is as low as she’s ever been – her new movie is going straight to cable, she’s been dumped by that mannish lesbian she was seeing and she’s currently on the front cover of a magazine bleating ‘I’M SO ALONE’ like some sort of awful self-pitying nimrod.

And that’s in addition to all the other things that are terrible in Lindsay Lohan’s life, like her fame-hungry father, her fame-hungry mother, her voice that sounds like Dr Claw from Inspector Gadget after a heavy night out on the old toilet bleach and the fact that nothing she’s ever done has ever been of any worth. But does any of this get Lindsay Lohan down? No way.

Instead, Lindsay Lohan has decided to try something fresh and original. Something she’s never done before. You know, apart from that time a gust of wind blew up her skirt at an awards show, or that time a gust of wind blew up her skirt near the sea, or that time she got naked for a magazine, or the time she starred in a film about a stripper who worked in a strip club for a living. But, aside from those things, completely fresh and original.

That’s right, it looks as if Lindsay Lohan is about to join a Las Vegas stripshow. But a classy one, you understand. Peepshow, it’s called. Mel B‘s in it. You know, the classy Spice Girl. People reports:

Lohan was in Las Vegas Saturday taking in the performance that stars Melanie Brown and Kelly Monaco. If Lohan were to join the show, she would take over for Monaco in a role that requires Monaco to strip down to almost nothing – something that won’t change if Lohan starred. “When the character strips she does it because she has learned to be strong by the other character/dancers in the show.” Peepshow‘s director Jerry Mitchell told PEOPLE.

Now you see, that’s vital. Despite her recent troubles, Lindsay Lohan is still a serious actress, and she’ll only get naked if the part absolutely demands it. And, luckily for her, the only recognisable human facet that her Peepshow character has is the desire to be naked as often as possible, probably because her movie and music career have gone down the toilet. What a fortunate coincidence.

Still though, Mel B and Lindsay Lohan writing around in various states of undress. That’s sexy. No, no wait. We’re confusing ‘sexy’ with ‘nightmarish’ again. Sorry.

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