say LohanWe’re thrilled that Ellen DeGeneres gave Lindsay Lohan a platform to air her views on her break-up yesterday.

Because where else has Lindsay Lohan had the opportunity to discuss her life since the Sam Ronson split? You know, apart from her Twitter account. And her MySpace blog. And that magazine she’s on the front cover of. And all the other magazines she’s not on the front cover of. And that Funny Or Die video. And TMZ approximately every six or seven seconds. Nowhere, that’s where.

So what did Lindsay Lohan have to say to Ellen yesterday? Oh, like anybody cares.

Did you know that Lindsay Lohan recently split up with Sam Ronson? You didn’t? Well, we’ve got some shocking news for you, so you’d better sit down on the floor of your prehistoric cave – Lindsay Lohan and Sam Ronson have split up. We know. We imagine that the one or two people on the planet who actually a) care about either Lindsay Lohan or Sam Ronson and b) approved of their relationship are probably quite cut up about it.

Since the split, both parties have tried to move on as best they can. Sam Ronson has presumably thrown herself into looking like a tooth-gnarled novelty pencil full-time, while Lindsay Lohan has adopted a more two-pronged approach – firstly she’s reminded the world that she’s got tits, and secondly she hasn’t shut up about the split, not once, not even for a second, since the bastard actually happened.

There was the real-time commentary on the split itself via Lindsay’s Twitter account, of course, and the stunned aftermath played out in Lindsay’s ‘I’m So Alone’ magazine story. So yesterday it was time for the next logical step – Lindsay Lohan went on the Ellen show to babble on obliviously about herself some more despite the fact that there can’t honestly be anyone anywhere who gives even the embryonic stages of a hoot about it any more. People reports:

“I had no idea what was going on. I just hadn’t seen her in, like, a week. She, like, disappeared,” Lohan says. Lohan denied infidelity was the cause: “I don’t believe in cheating on someone.” And Lohan still holds hope that the split won’t be permanent. “I really care about Samantha… Maybe when we’re fully in the right place. And I love her.”

Lindsay Lohan’s refusal to believe that it’s over is beautiful, really. Romantic. You know, like how keeping your dead mother’s body in your freezer and spending every night waltzing around your house in her underwear to the soundtrack of The Wicker Man is romantic. Like we said, romantic.

But maybe enough is enough. maybe now Lindsay Lohan should forget about Sam Ronson and try to focus on her career. Whatever that is. It’s been so long since Lindsay Lohan has been paid to do anything that we’ve forgotten what it is that she actually does. We want to say window cleaner…

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